Semua Bab Let Me In: Bab 91 - Bab 100

EvieI slowly dressed, reaching for the zipper that ran up the side of the blue gown I was wearing to my father’s award ceremony. My arms felt heavy and my fingers felt like they didn’t want to work. The very last thing I wanted to do was get dressed up. My heart was broken. It literally felt broken in my chest. I stepped in front of the mirror and grimaced when I saw my puffy eyes and pale complexion.Tonight was going to require extra makeup. I didn’t want my father to see my suffering. Tonight was his night. I would not ruin it for him. I would sit at his table, a place of honor, and smile. I would drink champagne and make small talk with the other people seated at our table. I would play the gracious daughter and make my father proud.I carefully put on my makeup, hiding the dark circles under my eyes and doing my best to make my complexion look bright and healthy. I left my hair down and put on some very simple jewelry. It took every ounce of energy I had to get ready. All I want

Xander I stared up at the ugly ceiling with the plain tiles. There was a hint of yellowing in one corner. It was to be expected in an environment like this, I supposed. I wasn’t going to panic and demand another hotel room. I didn’t care enough to move.I’d made it to Oregon the day before and had yet to leave the hotel. I wasn’t sure what I was doing there. My dad would not be pleased to see me. The moment of kindness, if it could be called that when he called to inform me of my brother’s death, would be fleeting. I knew that as much as I knew the wind would be blowing at the beach.The ringing of a phone disturbed the total quiet in the room. At first, I assumed it was coming from the room next to mine or above mine. Then I remembered it was my new phone with a ringtone I wasn’t quite used to. The damn thing had been ringing pretty steadily since this morning.I knew why. I’d fucked up. I’d blown off the meeting. It was an important meeting, but it wouldn’t have changed my life, ex

EvieI cleaned myself up after discovering Xander’s absence, but I was still a mess. I found myself randomly bursting into tears for no good reason. Half the time I didn’t even know what I was crying about.I just felt fried. My nerves were raw. Every little thing made me cry for no good reason. I stubbed my toe on a chair leg and I burst into tears. I looked at the ocean and I cried. I felt as if I was grieving the loss of not just Kade but Xander.I’d lost him. I’d lost the man I cared for and someone I considered to be a good friend, a companion.I wanted to help Xander. I wanted to know he was okay. I was terrified for him. I hated to think he was alone. I was imagining all kinds of things. I did have an active imagination. It was why I was so good at my job. In this situation, that imagination was not working well for me. I pictured him alone in a dark room, sad and distraught and hating himself.I knew the relationship between him and his father was strained. Who did he have to

XanderI parked the rental car on the opposite side of the street from the funeral home. I got out and leaned against the driver’s side door. A steady stream of mourners made their way inside. I had spotted my dad’s car when I drove by the first time. He was one of the first to arrive. Technically, I was first but I never stopped the car. I had been circling the funeral home for an hour.I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. It wasn’t like I would be viewing his body. There would be a big picture of him smiling.No, that wasn’t right. My father would have chosen a photo of him in his uniform. His celebration of life would be more of a celebration of his military career, something I was not a part of. I didn’t understand a lot of it. I certainly didn’t share in the joy of being a military man.A young woman wearing a very small black dress openly sobbed. I didn’t recognize her. Hell, I didn’t recognize most of the people making their way into the home. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I

EvieI wrapped my hair up in a towel and pulled on my panties before walking into the room. I had waited all night for Xander to call. He never did, but he texted me a couple times to let me know he was okay. That was enough for me.I was going to catch a flight home tomorrow. I wanted to give him one more day, just in case he changed his mind and needed me.I flipped on the TV just to have a little noise in the room. It was going to be a warm day—in the eighties. I laughed out loud. That was an average to cool day where we were from. I stepped back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and was just rinsing out the last bit when I heard a knock on the hotel room door.I froze, looking down at my undressed body and panicked. I rushed into the room, yanked on a pair of shorts, and managed to pull a T-shirt over my head with the towel still holding up my thick hair. I looked through the peephole to find Xander standing at the door, hands in his pockets.I jerked open the door. “You’re here