Semua Bab Her Graceful War Song: Bab 1581 - Bab 1590

Before I took the vows and entered the monastery, my name was Caden.From the time I was young, I often heard the same praise whispered around me: "This child is sharp beyond his years—clever, quick-witted, the finest of the three princes."I heard it so often that I came to believe it myself. At times, I even felt proud. But whenever I let that pride rise too high, Mom would bring me back to earth.She would look at me, her eyes soft but filled with something I couldn't quite name—pity, perhaps. And then, she would sigh and say, "What a pity you were born of my womb. If not, you might have risen above that foolish one. But fate favored him, not you."That "foolish one"—I knew well enough who she meant. I had heard her say it so many times in private, though never once in public.It puzzled me greatly as a child. Mom clearly disliked my eldest brother, Connor, more than anyone. Yet, whenever he came near, she would smile warmly and speak kindly. She would even flatter him, calling

Snow fell softly in the dead of winter, blanketing Victory Pass in white. At that moment, the world seemed to have been made pure again.For years, I wore nothing but a tattered priest's robe. I carried a broken bowl and wandered from place to place, asking for food. I stopped only briefly at temples along the way to rest for a night or two and kneel before the statues to beg for forgiveness.I could have stayed at the first monastery I was sent to. Life there wasn't easy, but it wasn't so hard either. I had warm meals and shelter from the cold. But I knew if I stayed in comfort, I would never wash away my sins.Only by suffering, by staying on the road and bearing the cold, the hunger, the pain, could I find peace in my heart.And so, I came to Victory Pass.My sandals had long since fallen apart. Thick calluses had grown on my feet; I could walk barefoot over rocks and barely feel a thing. Even with every piece of clothing I owned layered over me, the winter cold still cut throug

After a while, my cousin and her maid returned to find me. I asked the maid to hand thirty copper coins to Cassius. He smiled and thanked me kindly.I thought our meeting was just a chance encounter and I would never see him again. However, to my surprise, during Grandma's birthday celebration a month later, I saw him again.Our family was hosting a grand dinner, and Leonard Klein, a renowned scholar, had come with his apprentices. And there Cassius was, standing among them.In Ebonflow, the rules for social gatherings weren't as strict as in the capital, with women being allowed to be in the front hall during a banquet. Of course, Cassius didn't recognize me. After all, I had been wearing a veil when we first met, so he had only seen my eyes.He didn't stay long. After presenting Grandma with a beautiful painting, he quickly excused himself, saying he had business to attend to at home.Once he left, Mr. Klein spoke of him with a tone of regret, explaining, "He's a clever young man

Having failed to convince my mother, I went to my father. However, his response was even more severe.They thought I opposed the marriage because I hadn't spent time with Phineas. They were also convinced that since the match was already being arranged, it would be best for him to take me out and build some rapport between us.I didn't want to go, but my mother's maid forced me into the carriage. The maid was also told to watch me closely to ensure I didn't speak out of turn.Phineas looked all polished up, with shiny hair and a face like he had powdered it that morning. He initially showed me some respect, but soon enough, his true nature began to show. He made crude comments about my appearance, saying that if it weren't for my looks and the fact that I was from the Spencer family, he would never have considered marrying me.His condescending attitude made me uncomfortable. If that had been the worst of it, perhaps I would have simply let it go. But on our way back, he pinched me

At General Sullivan's 80th birthday celebration, I saw Carissa again. Before that, I had seen her a few times when she visited Victory Pass on occasion.We were like strangers now. We never spoke, but I would secretly see her off every time she left. I didn't know why I did that, or what I hoped to accomplish.I always carried a sense of guilt toward her.As for Aurora and Viola, I also felt I owed them something. But with them, it was a constant cycle of mutual exhaustion and arguments. They hurt me in the past, but I had also hurt them.But when it came to Carissa, it was my family and I who had wronged her. She never did anything to deserve it. Even after our divorce, she could have ignored my mother's illness. Instead, she helped Amelia learn how to obtain the Snowdrop Pills.When I saw Carissa at General Sullivan's birthday celebration, she was the regent's princess consort. The political affairs of the court were of little concern to us soldiers on the frontier. What mattere