Behind the scenes のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 11 - チャプター 20

“I was drunk out of my mind that day, I still don’t remember signing a contract with you.”He cocks his head to the side, sucking in a breath, his eyes studying me. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I fiddle with the hem of the silk dress I wore. I was out of breath from listening to what the man just said to me, electricity hummed underneath my skin, the words still hanging in the air between us. “But it still counts, you signed it.” he says as a matter of fact, his eye brows were as calm as they always were, my sudden change of subject did nothing to deter him, in fact I think it only encouraged him.“Yeah, but I was drunk.” I say quickly.Feeling myself grow frustrated quickly, he was too composed for the type of conversation he was willing to start, and the conversation was slipping through my fingers and I was neck deep in the shame I was feeling.“I found your room... the one with all of my pictures and stuff.” I say before he could respond. Another change of topic, must

The next few hours after Abed made such a bold promise to me, were a blur, he did give me the tour, but I was barely even there, my mind could not stop replaying his words, I could see his mouth form the words in my mind, a shiver ran through my spine. My eyes kept darting in the direction of his crotch, I could not stop thinking of how he heavy he felt in my hand. I shake the thoughts from my head, he was making a cup of tea for me, he knew my favorite, unsurprisingly. “Do you have some place to be?” I asked after watching his eyes return to the watch attached to his wrist for the what seemed like the tenth time in three minutes. He gave me an easy expression, one that said not to worry about anything, but it only had my insides melting, I felt a blush creep up my face, so I look away.“We are wrapping up shooting for a movie. I have to be there soon.” he explained calmly,My eyes widen, I did not know he was shooting a movie, there was no news about that, at least Greg did not kn

My phone had dinged with a notification, someone was in my car, and since the car was supposed to be parked right where I left it in my garage, in the house where she was supposed to be safe, I broke one of my own rules, no use of phones while on set. I watched the live feed, as her beautiful face came into focus, my pants tighten just from seeing her on the screen, hurriedly, I excuse myself to the bathroom like I did whenever she had tweeted something when I was at work, or any of her movies came out. I hear a groan slip past my lips as I watch her on my screen tucking her lower lip into her mouth.“I hope you aren’t trying to run away Peanut...” I mutter to myself.Disappointment pools in my gut, she was running away, I was the only one feeling all of this, I knew that, but I didn’t think it was bad enough for her to run away from me. I run my hands through my hair, I could not even get furious at her, she was all I dreamt about, her shy smile constantly ran through my mind. I kn

I did not particularly like being called a wuss, but I hated it even more now that it was coming from me, a drunk me, but me nonetheless, it was my subconscious calling me a wuss anyway. My own handwriting mocked me as I stared at the sheet of paper. I could almost see me drunk laughing at sober me, along with the rest of the world. Gregory’s words float back to me. Robot. Fresh clay. No thoughts of my own. I grab a pen and sign on top of my old signature, he watched me with a raised brow,“It was already signed, was there any need to do that?”I eye the piece of paper that held thee fresh signature, and the clause in my own handwriting that mocked me. I ordinarily would not have signed it, seeing as the contract stated a few things I was not sure I was comfortable with, like the fact that it states Abed, the Dom, was in charge of everything that concerned me from henceforth, and that included how I dressed, how I responded to him, how I lived, when I went to bed, everything. And

Turns out I need help as the people of the online community have been saying, since I was willing to overlook-- and explain to myself that the murder was in fact fictional. I made sure to soak longer than necessary in the bath, letting the hot water work through the knots in my shoulders and the worries in my mind. A warm shower was one of the things I was extremely grateful for once I left the orphanage, Sweet home was not the absolute worse but we only had the warmest of baths on our birthdays, and the day you get adopted, or finally age out, so when I aged out, that was my last warm bath, until I was able to afford the kind I preferred, the steaming kind. Dressed in the bathroom, I find myself at loss, I had no clothes of mine here, unless I wanted to repeat the silky gown that I had been wearing for ages. “How could you be so stupid!” I chastise myself as I walk towards what I never thought I would be putting on my body again, only to find a black, button down shirt laid out o