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Lahat ng Kabanata ng Loving The Mafia King: Kabanata 81 - Kabanata 90

95 Kabanata

81

~ RACHEL’S POVIt’s been a week since Richie and I parted ways and ever since then, my heart has been in curial pain. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling of emptiness swirling inside of me. My heart feels completely disconnected from my body, I can’t do anything at all without having to think of Richie and wondering if I should reach out to him again. I’ve tried reaching out to him; I called, but it just wouldn’t go through, and when I texted, it didn’t deliver. I know he specifically asked me not to contact him, but I can’t help but feel this overwhelming urge to reach out, especially since I feel like I have no purpose anymore. It sounds a bit crazy, but without Richie, I feel utterly lost. Since I was sixteen, my life has revolved around him—whether I was loving him or hated him. But now that it’s neither, I’m left with this void, and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.I feel so insecure about who I am without him. It’s hard to believe I let one person dictate so much

82

Hours have turned into days, and days have turned into weeks. Today is finally Rebecca’s rehearsal dinner, and I can hardly contain my excitement for her! She’s radiating happiness as she prepares to marry the love of her life. It’s so evident how deeply she loves Andre and the way he looks at her shows that he feels the same. They truly seem like the happiest couple, always stealing glances and sharing sweet moments together.Right now, I’m in Rebecca’s dressing room, soaking in the atmosphere as she gets ready for the big night. I’m sitting back in a cozy chair, eagerly waiting for her to step out of the closet where she’s putting on her dress. As her bridesmaid, it’s my duty to ensure everything is perfect for her and that she gets dressed on time. While she’s busy with her preparations, I take a moment to check my outfit in the mirror—I didn’t have the chance to do that earlier since I was so focused on helping Rebecca. I’m wearing a lovely blue dress that falls gracefully below m

83

For several long minutes, I find myself sitting alone, observing as Rebecca and Andre navigate the room, their faces lit up with joy as they thank each guest for being there to celebrate their special day. It warms my heart to see them so happy, especially Rebecca. After all those years of feeling alone, she now stands surrounded by a large, loving family who embraces her wholeheartedly. I can’t help but notice how Andre’s mom stays close to Rebecca, her kindness radiating as she showers her with affection—it’s such a beautiful sight.I've never witnessed Rebecca radiate this level of happiness before. It’s a bittersweet reminder that while love didn’t work out for me, it has flourished splendidly for her. The sheer joy in her eyes and the way her smile lights up the room fill me with warmth and make me smile in return.As I continue to watch her bask in the moment, my attention suddenly shifts when a man approaches me. He appears to be in his early thirties, with a muscular build and

84

Zoran comes back with my drink, and he, Arthur, and I dive into a conversation about life and how much we miss the carefree days of childhood. I have to admit, my day isn’t going as terribly as I initially thought it would. Don’t get me wrong; I’m genuinely happy for Rebecca—she seems to be living her best life right now. But I can’t help but feel like today could have been one of the worst days for me, especially with Richie on my mind and the memories that keep swirling around.As much as I hate to admit it, I honestly feel pretty great since I met Arthur and Zoran. We’ve been chatting back and forth so much that I haven’t even had a chance to think about Richie, which is a relief. I really want to move on and leave those thoughts behind.The more I talk to Arthur and Zoran, the more I realize how smart and insightful they are. They’re genuinely nice guys, and I think Rebecca is incredibly lucky to have them as her brothers-in-law. They bring a fun energy to the conversation—maybe a

85

Her words hit me to the core; they resonate deeply, and I realize she’s right. There's so much that goes unspoken in relationships, and it often carries the heaviest weight. Yet, I can’t help but wonder what she really meant by that. "Wait, did something happen between you and Andre?" I ask, curiosity bubbling up inside me.She shakes her head slowly, her expression serious. "No, nothing happened, but I’m just trying to make it clear to you that love is hard.""Well, it shouldn’t be hard," I say, feeling a mix of frustration and confusion."It needs to be hard," she replies, her voice steady. "In fact, I think love is one of the hardest things because you go through so many emotions. Hurt, joy, pain, confusion, misery, and more pain. Love is nothing without pain… the people you love the most will be the ones who hurt you the most.""What if they don’t hurt you?" I ask, my mind racing with possibilities."They will… they always will. You just have to understand that some pain comes wi

86

The rehearsal party is absolutely fantastic—everything about it is just wonderful. I could easily say it’s one of the best days I’ve had since Richie and I parted ways. I never expect to feel this happy, but here I am, feeling great. For the first time in a long time, I’m able to smile, laugh, and just be myself again, surrounded by friends and good vibes.After the party wraps up, I head back to my room at Andre’s family’s house. I still can’t believe how kind they are for hosting me! They gave me one of the best rooms in the whole house, complete with a breathtaking view of the sunset and a nice bathtub that’s perfect for relaxing. I really love how amazing this place is; it feels so welcoming and cozy. Andre’s family is so nice and friendly, always making me feel at home, and even though his brothers can be a bit flirty, it’s all in good fun and doesn’t bother me at all.I take a quick shower to wash off the day, change into a comfy nightshirt that feels like a warm hug, and climb

87

I wake up to a loud knock on my door, groaning as I rub my eyes with my hands, trying to shake off the sleep. Slowly, I push myself up from the cozy warmth of my bed, feeling the weight of exhaustion on my shoulders. I shuffle over to the door, open it, and there stands Rebecca, practically glowing with a wide grin plastered across her face. "It’s my wedding day!!" she exclaims, her excitement practically radiating off her. I let out a heavy sigh, a mix of happiness for her and sheer tiredness. I really want to celebrate with her, but all I can think about is how much I need more sleep. So, I start to turn back toward my bed, hoping to catch a few more minutes of rest. But Rebecca, quick as lightning, steps in front of me, her eyes sparkling. "It’s my wedding day!!" she exclaims again, her enthusiasm unwavering. I smile back at her, trying to muster some energy. "I know, and congratulations! But I really need some more time to sleep; I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night," I admit

88

Rebecca’s wedding is such a joyful occasion; it is filled with laughter and excitement. The atmosphere is electric, and I find myself having a couple of drinks at the reception. I promise myself I won’t drink, but as I look around and see everyone toasting and enjoying themselves, I can’t resist. I get caught up in the moment and end up having more than I intended."So tell me one fun fact about you, Rachel," Arther asks me while we stand together at the open bar, the music softly playing in the background. We have been chatting for a few minutes, and I really enjoy his company. He’s a cool guy, easy to talk to, and I feel a connection."I don’t have a fun fact," I reply, taking a sip of my drink and trying to think of something interesting."Come on, I know you do," he urges, a playful smile on his face."I don’t really have one, but I guess a fun fact about me is that I can stick my tongue to my nose," I say, feeling a bit silly but also playful."Really?" he asks, clearly intrigued

89

I always despise the mafia men, the entire mafia world, and everything that comes with it. I remember the fire in my heart, how fiercely I want to ruin them, to shatter their existence completely. I hurl insults at them, calling them cruel, wicked, and so many other names, never imagining I could ever become one of them, never believing I could sink to that level.But after years of facing harsh realities, I become the very villain I loathe. The villain I refuse to acknowledge, the one I write about in all my stories, always as the antagonist. Tears stream down my face as fear grips me tightly, causing my head to throb and my heart to race uncontrollably. I’m terrified of myself, scared that I’ve morphed into something I never thought I could be—something I’ve always feared. When I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, I feel a wave of panic wash over me. I can’t bear to look at the person staring back, so I bolt out of the bathroom, as if I’m fleeing from an unseen pursuer.

90

I don’t waste a single moment as I hurriedly pack my belongings from the room, my heart racing as I step outside. Tomorrow can't come soon enough; I need to meet Richie and make sure everything is on track between us. I can’t afford to lose him again. I’m done with the little arguments, the big blowouts—I'm finished with all of it. It’s time to step up my game and finally do the right thing.As I walk out of the room, dragging my small suitcase behind me, I catch sight of Arthur. He rushes over, concern etched on his face when he notices my bag. "Why do you have a suitcase with you?""I’m leaving," I reply, my eyes scanning the hallway for Rebecca. I need to find her to say goodbye before I go."What!" he exclaims, his voice rising in disbelief. "Why? Did something happen? Is that why you look like you’ve just cried?" He probes, but I keep moving, determined to locate Rebecca. The sooner I find her, the sooner I can leave and meet Richie to mend things between us."Rachel, come on, wh

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