جميع فصول : الفصل -الفصل 210

Lucas saw his frown and spoke more quickly. “So like I said, I want you to stay out it. It’s probably fine. And if it isn’t…” He looked miserable now, but he said, “If it isn’t, I’ll take the heat. I mean…I did it. The first thing…your brother…I did that. And maybe your mom’s right—maybe I didn’t serve enough time for it.” He looked at Mark quickly and said, “I don’t want that to be true. I want to stay out here and be with you and…yeah. I want all of that. But I don’t want to hide behind you, and I don’t want you to mess things up between you and your mom, especially not when your dad’s still so sick. And I don’t want…” He frowned as he searched for the words. “I don’t want this to be your problem. You got me the lawyer, and I appreciate that—I think he’s really good. I think he’s going to do a good job, and he’ll take care of things and everything will be fine. And if they aren’t, and I have to go back, then I have to go back. I can handle it.”“Wait a second. Just…wait.” Mark tried

“I. Don’t. Remember.” Sean raised his eyebrows as if challenging Lucas to believe otherwise, but it made sense that Sean wouldn’t. Between alcohol and head trauma, there were probably parts of Sean’s brain that weren’t working properly.Lucas leaned back in his chair. “I don’t remember either,” he said softly.“That night in the bar. I got a few flashes back, after months of wondering. But that’s all.” He sighed. “At least you didn’t kill anybody. You had the guts to do your big, stupid thing on your own.”“You really trying to make drunk driving myself off the road into me being a hero or something?”Lucas paused. No, he wasn’t going to try to do that. “We’re both assholes,” he finally said. “Both dumb fucks who can’t keep our shit to ourselves and have to drag other people down with us.”“But not you, not anymore.” Sean didn’t sound bitter this time. “Your new life…you’re not an asshole anymore, right? Jail actually worked on you. You’re all rehabilitated and responsible now. Right?

“Shouldn’t you be swearing at me and calling me a pig? Raving about your rights and private property and how the truck had better come back without a scratch on it? Calling your friends and getting them to come start a riot to defend you?”Lucas had no answers to any of that. He just looked at the rain splashing into the puddles and asked again, “Do I give you the key?”Parker huffed out a sigh. “Yeah. Give me the key.” He waited while Lucas separated the car key from the few others on his key chain then took it wordlessly.Lucas turned to start walking, and Parker said, “There’s a path just past that bunch of trees. It cuts behind a field, comes out by the mall. Shortcut.”What was that? Charity? Lucas had become so pathetic that the cop who thought he was scum was starting to feel bad for him? He didn’t turn around or acknowledge that he’d heard the suggestion, but when he got past the trees, he found the path and took it. He was already cold and wet. He didn’t need to add “stupid”

“I’m still me, Mom. Come on…”“Get out of the car, Mark. Find the pictures. And for God’s sake, think about what you’re doing.” She was looking ahead now, her eyes fixed on the road as intently as if she were steering it through a blizzard. “Think about who you’re hurting.”“I will. I mean it. But, Mom…” Mark wasn’t sure if he should push it this far or not, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t lost all the same people his mother had, and maybe she needed to be reminded of that. “Think about who you’re hurting too. We need each other. We’re all that’s left, and—”“We’re all that’s left and you’re spitting in the face of our family! You’re…with…with the man who destroyed us!”“I don’t think we’ve been destroyed—” Mark started, but his mother wasn’t interested in hearing it.“Get out of the car. Don’t call me. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to discuss this.”And that was that. Three times she’d told him to get out—he couldn’t keep ignoring her request. And he really didn’t have anything left

Lucas wished there was more he could do. He’d helped Mark sort through pictures of his father and listened to the stories behind the different photographs. He’d taken the afternoon of the funeral off work and waited anxiously in Mark’s apartment, ready to comfort him when he returned from the ceremony. He’d done everything he could think of, but it didn’t feel like enough.“He’s doing okay,” he told Elise when she asked, and he didn’t think it was a lie, exactly. Mark was okay. The days were passing and Mark was recovering. But he’d lost more than his father, and he was clearly drifting a little. Two family members dead, one refusing to speak to him. A career that was still in limbo. He didn’t seem to be talking to anyone but Lucas about any of it, and Lucas really wasn’t sure he was equipped to give the man any real help.He’d stopped working so many hours at the farm in order to spend more time with Mark and he was cleaning up for the day when he saw an unfamiliar car pull into the