Lahat ng Kabanata ng MY FATHER'S BEST FRIEND IS MY LOVE: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

Maria Clara had disappeared, I searched all the rooms of the house, looking for her, I asked some present, guests, neighbors and even the servants who passed by, and nothing, no sign of her.The feeling of guilt weighed on my shoulders, how could I let myself be carried away by it? Betraying my wife and my only friend, in a single sentence, and the worst, was to realize all the feeling of affection, desire for protection and care for Maria Vitória, she seemed frightened by everything she was seeing, witnessing.I left her house, leaving her standing there in the hallway, stroking her own elbow, I felt a desire to punch my own face, when I realized how selfish I would be, to want to stretch that night into her side, talking, kissing her lips and sinking once again into her.Maria Vitória should be considered a mistake, for me, a name crossed out in my mind, and even though she told me that, I looked towards her room, when she got to the car, the way she refused my touch said it all, sh

She stopped in front of the kitchen counter, perhaps she didn't expect a direct, raw and infonsive answer from me, our eyes crossed as if facing each other in that small room."Do you know what went through my mind while I was looking for you?" Do you know how I felt?- I denied it, after all I would never know, the guilt weighed even more, at that moment I was with Maria Vitória in the library, there was a mixture of guilt, remorse, but less regret, I was bombarded by subtle memories.That girl in that red bikini in front of me, moaning saying my name, kissing my mouth, until she became panting, while I continued, it was easy to be her, I felt like she owned, and somehow, it was nice to feel that I know more than her.Clara picked up a grape and brought it to her mouth, avoiding looking at me."No. What did you feel? Fear? Insecurity? I asked sitting at the sfá, where I was just now. She sucked the grapes with only the tips of her nails, it was like a challenge for any and all women,

I left the room without looking back. The muffled sound of the television in the living room mixed with my increasingly twisted thoughts.There was no way I could go back to bed after that. In fact, there wasn’t even a bed to return to — just a past unraveling, layer by layer, right before my eyes. And deep down, I no longer knew if it was anger or relief. Truth be told, I no longer felt the urge to touch Maria Clara, or even to be near her.The weight of what was happening hovered between us. The guilt wasn't hers alone. It was ours. But when I thought of Maria Vitória, I felt no regret. I’d never be hypocritical enough to pretend otherwise. Still, I knew it was time to step away.I went out to the balcony, hair still damp from the shower. The night breeze was sharp. I sat on the wooden chair, leaned my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. My body gave in, but my mind kept processing Clara’s words. It was like iron cutting through flesh — no anesthesia.A clean, cruel cut."Eve

Sunday was no different. Going to work was my salvation. Some on-call staff were still talking about Heitor’s apocalyptic party. I kept to myself and worked all day. When night came, the phone ringing in the drawer pulled me out of my paperwork trance.I thought it might be Clara. Maybe asking to talk. To apologize. Or demanding explanations.But the unknown number made me hesitate. It wasn’t from this city. Whoever it was, it didn’t matter—not at that moment.I tried to return to work, but the thought that it could be Maria Vitória made me reach for the phone again. Would she call if something had gone wrong? A reaction to the medication?I called back, secretly hoping my paranoia would be justified. But it wasn’t. Just someone confirming a keynote lecture at a federal university. They had liked my closing speech. The auditorium had been packed.The day and time felt off, but I confirmed anyway. I needed distance from everything. Teaching had always been a secret passion. I would’ve

Alexandre kept his eyes on the road for a long time. I was anxious, nearly biting my nails. I didn’t know how that conversation would go—wasn’t even ready to face my father. And as for us, me and Alexandre… we said nothing.When his hand touched my knee, I flinched. I looked at him, unsure, and the glance he gave me in silence, just for a few seconds, was long enough for me to understand: there wouldn’t be a next time. And maybe that was for the best. I already felt like a terrible person for what we’d done.I didn’t want to lose my head over a man, especially not one who wasn’t—and never would be—mine.He turned back to the road, ignoring my presence beside him. I did the same, staring out the window, trying to escape from everything. Part of me wanted to get it all over with and leave. But I knew that would hurt people who had no idea of the madness going on. Their friendship was beautiful. I wished I had a friendship like that, someone who’d defend me even when I was wrong.I looke