"Next," I muttered, swiping to reject yet another profile. "Michael, thirty-four, lawyer. First photo, fine, suit, professional smile. Second photo, he's holding a dead fish the size of a toddler. Why do men think fishing is attractive?" "Maybe because it shows hunting and provider skills?" Gwen offered, not looking up from her work, though she was very obviously listening. "Provider of what? Salmonella?" I rolled my eyes and swiped again. "Oh, this one looks normal... wait. 'Looking for a woman who can cook, clean, keep the house tidy, and isn't too feminist.' Dear God, are we in 2025 or 1925?" It was three in the afternoon on Thursday, and I'd been trying for two and a half hours to find one halfway decent plus-one for tomorrow's party. What should've been simple had turned into an archaeological dig through London's worst male specimens. "Thomas, twenty-nine, 'financial consultant,'" I continued, narrating for Gwen, who had given up pretending to work and was now watching th
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