Alle Kapitel von SHADES OF ICE AND ASHES : Kapitel 11 – Kapitel 20

LILA’S POV I pushed through the revolving door of Apex Media and the whispers hit me like a wave. Two interns at the coffee machine stopped talking the second they saw me. A group by the printers turned their backs too fast. Someone coughed into their sleeve and another phone screen went dark the moment I walked past. My stomach dropped straight to the floor. They knew. Someone knew everything. My skin burned under every stare.I kept my head down and speed-walked to my cubicle. The walk felt endless. I heard my name float behind hands and monitors. Harper. Callahan. Thrown out. Penthouse. My pulse hammered so loud I barely heard the chairs roll as people leaned out to watch me pass.I dropped into my seat and stared at the black monitor like it could save me. Sarah appeared over the divider before I even caught my breath.“Oh my god, Lila,” she whispered, eyes huge. “Have you heard?”“Heard what?” My voice cracked.“Madison got escorted out of Zane Callahan’s building yesterday. Lik

Lila’s POV I stumbled out of the cab and the cold air hit my face hard enough to make the world tilt. My phone kept buzzing in my bag but I ignored it and leaned against a brick wall to catch my breath. Snow fell soft and quiet around me and the streetlights blurred into halos. I knew what waited if I looked online. My name was everywhere. My face next to Zane’s with headlines screaming mistress and homewrecker and gold-digger. Tomorrow would be hell but tonight I just needed to forget.I pulled out my phone with numb fingers and called Mia.“Hey, it’s me,” I said when she picked up. “Meet me at Rusty’s. I need a drink.”“On my way,” she answered without asking questions. That was why I loved her.I made it to the bar first and slid onto a stool near the back. The bartender knew my face and poured two shots of Patrón without me asking. I threw the first one back and the tequila burned a path straight to my stomach. The second followed quickly and warmth spread through my chest.Mia

LILA’S POV I woke up to sunlight slicing through the unfamiliar blinds and a body that felt thoroughly used. Every muscle ached in the best and worst way imaginable, between my legs throbbed with a dull sweet soreness that brought last night rushing back in vivid color. Zane’s mouth on me as his hands pinned me down. The way he filled me over and over until I forgot everything but his name. I rolled over and reached out blindly but the sheets beside me were cool and empty. There was no Zane. Just the faint scent of him on the pillow and the ache he left behind. I sat up slowly as the room tilted a little all thanks to the tequila hangover that hammered behind my eyes. I was naked, my clothes were scattered across the floor like evidence. My bra hung off the lampshade and my panties were nowhere in sight. My phone rang loudly from the nightstand and I grabbed it fast. It was Meredith. I swallowed hard and answered. “Lila, I hope I’m expecting good news from you today?” My stomac

LILA’S POV Zane pulled away from the curb and drove through the snow without another word. The city lights blurred past the windows and the heater blasted warm air that did nothing to thaw the chill inside me. His words echoed loud in my head. You’re not marrying him. It is now. He said it like he owned the decision, like he owned me.I stared at his sharp profile, it was unreadable in the dashboard glow. He kept saying things like that as if declarations fixed everything. As if he could snap his fingers and erase four million dollars and a family that saw me as property. Men always talked big when they wanted something. And Zane wanted sex—not just any sex—great and mind-blowing sex. Despite having his own fiancée waiting somewhere or at least the expectation of one, he still claimed my body. I know Sophia Lang wasn’t going away quietly. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he meant anything more.The Rover turned into his underground garage after we grabbed something to eat and he

LILA’S POV I rode the bus home in soaked clothes and ruined makeup with blisters burning on both heels. The driver kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror but said nothing. I sat in the back row and stared out the window watching rain streak the glass while my body shivered from cold and shame. My dress clung to my skin like a second layer of regret. Every bump in the road jolted the soreness between my legs and reminded me of Zane’s hands and mouth and the way I’d begged for more. I hated myself for it.When I finally reached my stop I walked the last three blocks in barefoot because my heels hurt too much. I had blisters split on my feet and the rainwater didn’t help with the pain. But I didn’t care because pain felt deserved.I climbed the stairs to the apartment and let myself in quiet. I dropped my bag on the floor as I started peeling off the wet dress, it landed in a heap with a soft wet slap. I left the heels by the door and padded barefoot to my room.I collapsed on the