Semua Bab The Rules Of Silence: Bab 1 - Bab 10

My eyes droop, and my legs give out. I don’t know how I’ve landed on the ground, until I look up at her; my fingers are shaking. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I open my arms, and she enters, choking on her own tears as she stumbles over her words. “I-I thought my period was just late... and I—My shoulders go around her and rub her back, desperately trying to comfort her. My mouth struggles to make words, my mind imagining how different a child might make my life. Would I have to leave school? What the hell was I thinking? The future looks bleak all of a sudden.“What do you want to do, Jazz?” I raise up a million silent prayers to God and any heavenly being above, years of going to church suddenly crashing down on me. “I’ll support you whatever you choose.” She sniffs, shaking her head frantically. Chokes out, “I don't know… I-I can't decide this, William.” And I think about how she only ever calls me William when she's sad. She shrugs from my grasp, taking my hand.

I catch myself quickly, my mouth falling open for a second. “Wha—I just wanted to see mom.” He looks at me as if I just spoke in Japanese, then, “What good will you do standing here? Go back to school.” My eyes lower, shame curdling like milk in my belly. My hands ball into fists.Jotham slides between the two of us, “Leave him alone, Dad.” I'm surprised at his stance, protective. I don't remember a time my brother has ever defended me in front of him.My father kisses his teeth, looking away from the two of us with something akin to disgust on his face. He takes a single step back.Jotham turns to me, a sad smile on his face as he asks, “Do you want to see her?” “Of course,” I say, and he leads me by the arm. I feel the ball in my stomach loosen just a little. ~ Eucalyptus follows me once I pass through the double doors leading into the hallway of the ICU. The entire section is quiet, controlled in a way that instinctively makes me feel calmer. Jotham walks in front of me silen

I blink in confusion, my mouth falling open. Timothy has never spoken to me this way. I swallow air, suddenly feeling cold. He looks into my eyes, silent. His fingers on my chin grip me tighter, until it hurts. I nod, too fast. He lets go; a knock sounds on the door. I try to force a smile, but my lips don’t turn up. I look at him, feeling hurt more than just physically, and whisper, “What am I supposed to do, then?” His eyes widen, then soften within a second. He mouths, “I'm sorry,” as I go to open the door. I’mI hold the door open by an inch, darting my eyes across the hallway before I notice Alexander. “Hi,” he says, and is that a smile I see on his lips?“Alexander,” I say. My face reveals nothing. “I’m sorry to disturb you but I need some of your notes. Um, can I just come in?” I look behind me, stalling. I can't think of a non-weird way to tell him no.I wait a few seconds before letting Alexander in. Timothy leaves as Alexander settles into my bed, and I watch him as h

“What?” the driver screams from the front seat, and several horns blare around us. He flips the partition down quickly, almost breaking the thin glass with his bare hands. The windows roll down slowly, smoke drifting in as other road users shout curses at us. “What just happened?” I look at him, my hand on Jasmine’s back rubbing small circles as she whimpers. “Is she alright?” He doesn’t even look at me while speaking. “No, genius. What just happened?” My voice gets an octave higher with every word that comes out of my mouth. He breathes in and out, facing forward and shaking his head before speaking. “I was worried.” “You almost caused us an accident because you were—Oh my God, just drive. Please.” My fingers tighten on Jasmine’s, and she squeezes my hand back. So tight my fingers turn red at the tips. I don’t let go. The car zooms off as a man with his fist raised approaches, the smell of burning rubber filling the back seat before air filters in and I roll the windows up. “

Timothy’s replied: Whatever. We need to talk tonight. I look at my screen, my hands curling around my phone, pressing it until I can feel it vibrate in my palm. I look out the window, my chest deflating. A voice in my head batters me, reminding me how stupid I was to trust him. I’m so tired, and my eyes close. I try to sleep, shifting restlessly between the leather seats until we reach Aton. The dorms are decorated. Garlands hanging from the door frames, the windows glowing green, purple or blue—the different House colours. Two students hand out flyers at each House door about Saving the Dolphins or something. Each House has its own party going on and there’s always a competition between students to see who can attend the most parties without any teacher finding out. Last semester I won it alongside Timothy, and I remember how his hands entwined in mine every time we met in a different dorm party, electricity flying between our fingers, and no one else the wiser. It happened th