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Todos los capítulos de Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son: Capítulo 91 - Capítulo 100

186 Capítulos

91

Vivienne's POV “Are you ready?” Julian asked at last.I nodded. Ready wasn’t the right word, but I had no other choice except to move forward. I took a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs. Fear was coiled tightly in my chest, but there was something else too. I wasn’t going alone today.Maximilian tugged my hand gently. “Mom, I’ll sit in the back, okay? So I can see the ocean.”I smiled. “Okay.”Julian opened the door and stepped aside. I walked out, feeling the change in temperature and light. The apartment hallway felt longer than usual, or maybe my steps were slower. Every second felt precious, as if I wanted to hold time still so it wouldn’t rush me toward the place I knew would drain what little strength I had left.In front of the elevator, Julian stood a little closer. Not touching, but close enough for me to know he was there. I didn’t look at him. I kept my eyes on the floor, steadying my breath.The drive to the hospital was quiet,

92

Vivienne's POV Julian glanced briefly at the rearview mirror, his gaze softening. He didn’t say anything, but the silence felt full, not empty. I swallowed, holding back the emotions that suddenly rose. That simple picture house, beach, the three of us felt like a prayer drawn in crayon.I turned my gaze back to the window. Sunlight reflected off the surface of the sea in the distance, shimmering calmly. I remembered why I’d chosen to live near the beach: the sound of the waves that demanded nothing from me, only existed. But today, I realized that the presence of other people in this car gave me a different kind of strength.Julian slowed the car as we entered a busier area. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, then relaxed again. “If you feel dizzy or nauseous,” he said softly, almost in a whisper, “tell me.”I nodded. “Okay.”I didn’t know what would happen after the therapy later. I didn’t know how my body would react, or how long I could keep smi

93

Vivienne's POV Time moved slowly. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours. I opened my eyes again, staring at the same white ceiling with a small stain in the corner, the mark I always counted to distract myself. One, two, three I stopped counting when dizziness came, pressing against my temples from the inside.I took a deep breath, remembering Julian’s voice that morning. His firm tone, the way he stood beside me without asking whether I needed him or not. He was simply there. And for the first time in a long while, I let myself accept that presence without feeling guilty.There was a soft knock against the curtain wall. Another nurse peeked in, offering a brief smile before returning to her tasks. The world in this room kept moving, indifferent to how heavy my body felt now. But I was still here. Still conscious. Still holding on.I imagine Maximilian outside, sitting in the waiting room with Julian. Maybe they’re drawing. Maybe Maximilian i

94

Vivienne's POV The car slowed to a stop in front of the apartment. The fading hum of the engine pulled me out of my reverie. Maximilian was still asleep, his breathing steady, his head shifting slightly when the car came to a halt. My instincts stirred immediately. I wanted to reach for him, hold him, make sure he was comfortable. But I restrained myself; I had to be careful not to wake him.Julian turned off the engine, unbuckled his seatbelt, then looked at me.“I’ll carry Maximilian,” he said.“Here I can,” I whispered reflexively.Julian raised an eyebrow, looking at me in a way that made me feel like a child trying to do something dangerous. “Vivienne. You just finished chemo. Your body’s still trembling.”He wasn’t wrong. My legs had even wobbled earlier when I got off the hospital bed. But somehow, that urge to do everything on my own still clung to me. Years of taking care of myself didn’t disappear overnight.“I’m still strong,” I said sof

95

Vivienne's POV I fell silent. Part of me wanted to cling to my old role, the mother who always had to be ready, always alert. But another part was tired of fighting alone. I lowered my gaze, staring at my pale hands on the table.“I don’t like feeling weak,” I admitted softly, almost a whisper.Julian didn’t respond right away. He pulled out the chair across from me and sat down, level with me, not in a dominating position. “Being weak doesn’t mean you’ve failed, Vivienne,” he said finally. “Sometimes it’s just a sign that you’re human.”I swallowed hard. The words were simple, but they struck a place I’d kept tightly guarded. I lifted the empty glass in front of me, turning it slowly on the table, looking for a reason not to meet his eyes.Silence settled again, but this time it wasn’t suffocating. There was only the sound of our breathing, the hum of the old refrigerator, and the soft ticking of the wall clock. I felt my body truly give in to exhaustion, and

96

Vivienne's POV I gave a thin, humorless smile. “I didn’t ask you to keep caring.”“But you also can’t tell me to stop,” he shot back quickly, then fell silent again, as if realizing his own emotions. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I just want you to live, Vivienne.”That word live made my throat tighten. I turned to look at Maximilian, still asleep on the sofa. That small face was so peaceful, unaware of how fragile the adult world around him was. My chest throbbed with pain.“I’m fighting,” I said softly, barely audible. “Every day. Sometimes it feels like it’s enough just to get out of bed.”Julian nodded slowly, as if he was truly listening, not just waiting for his turn to speak. His hand loosened slightly, giving me space, but not fully letting go. “I know.”“You don’t,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “You’re not inside this body. You don’t know what it feels like to lose the strength to stand, what it’s like to be afraid every

97

Vivienne's POV Julian agreed with a nod. "Then I will make soup. Something hot, so it won't hurt your tummy."I gave a dry laugh. “You can cook soup?”He made a small face. “I’m a dad to one kid. If I can’t even make soup, I should be embarrassed.”His words made me grin a bit, even if my heart was still at peace. Oddly, times like this were the most tiring. Because I knew I missed him. I missed the simple time together we used to have nearly each day.I leaned back on the couch, shut my eyes for a bit. My body felt tired in a way that wasn’t just about being worn out, more like a tiredness that came from the heart, from keeping too much inside for too long. A tiny smile stayed on my lips after what he said but it quickly went away ͏as quiet filled room again Julian went to the sink, cleaning his hands. The noise of flowing water was gentle, steady, nearly calming. I opened my eyes and saw him from a distance. His shoulders seemed w

98

Vivienne's POV Julian looked over from the cooking area, seeing us with a softness so strong it almost made me weep again. The gaze of a dad. A man I once cared for. Maybe I still did; I wasn't sure?At that time, I saw something. I didn’t know where life would lead us. But for now, for today I was not alone.I held Maximilian until he breathed normally again. His tiny body felt so light in my arms, yet it was like a weight keeping me from drifting too far into fear and my own thoughts.I gently lay down next to him on the couch, being careful not to press on the place where an IV had been in my arm. Julian pulled up the blanket more, covering both of us.“Are you cold?” he whispered from behind the sofa.I shook my head slightly. “No. I feel better now.”He didn’t say anything, but I heard his footsteps come near. Julian put a spare pillow next to Maximilian, making sure the kid wouldn’t drop. His moves were slow, like eac

99

Vivienne's POV “Do you want to go to school tomorrow?" Julian asked softly. “If you wish, we can go home now. I’ll cover you up so, you won’t be late for the morning.”Maximilian went silent.I saw his face ͏slowly shift from calm, to worried, then to unhappy. So unhappy that his bottom lip shook. He glanced down, looking at his notebook like the page meant more than all around him.“Maximilian?” Julian called again.The lad shook his head fast without raising his eyes. “I don’t want to go home.”Julian made a sad face. "Honey, you've been out of school for over a week. You need to study, you need to see your friends. It not good if you..."“I don’t want to go home!” the small voice broke.I saw Maximilian, feeling a weight on my chest. “Maximilian,” I said softly. “Why don't you want to go home?”He at last looked up and those brown eyes were wet. Tears gathered so fast that his cheeks turned red.

100

Vivienne's POV Julian stood near us. I could sense his doubt without seeing his face. He was the kind who always wanted an answer, a rule, the best move to make. But this wasn’t about good or badThis was about wounds that had never truly healed.“Vivienne,” his voice said again, softer now, more careful. “He needs a habit. If we keep letting this go on, he’ll get even more scared of being alone. I just don’t want him to grow up with this type of worry.”I at last looked at him. Julian’s face was tight, his eyes worn out. Dark rings were under them, and for the first time I really noticed how tough the load had been that he bore by himself while I was away being a dad, and also trying to explain loss to a kid who didn’t yet have the words for fear.“I know,” I said softly. “I know you’re right.”That was what caused all the pain to hurt more. Because I knew he wasn't incorrect. But I also knew that if Maximilian went tonight with tha

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