Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 101 - チャプター 110

Vivienne’s POVNight came down, covering my little flat in a gentle, dark blue shade. The bedroom lamps were dimmed already letting in just a warm yellow light that made the room feel nice. Next to me on the tiny bed I made Maximilian was laying and hugging a pillow.He was already in star-patterned pjs Julian got from the car and now his small face was partly covered by the blanket.I sat on the side of his bed, softly patting his hair, wishing the feeling would make him feel better and wishing, too, that it would cover how uneasy I was.I moved in a little, fixing the blanket so it wrapped around his shoulders well. Maximilian stirred a bit, said something I couldn’t understand, and then became quiet once more. His breathing was still not smooth, which showed he wasn’t completely asleep yet. I realized his mind was active tonight; scared, eager, trying to believe that I was truly here."Mom," he said softly, his eyes still shut.

Vivienne's POV Maximilian frowned, the last traces of tears shining at the corners of his eyes. “But at Dad’s house Mom’s room is still there.” His words made my tongue go numb. Of course it was still there. Julian had never cleared it out. Even after I left in shame and anger he still hadn’t moved a thing. I closed my eyes for a moment. “Sweetheart Mom knows you miss Mom. Mom misses you too, more than anything in this world.” I leaned down, pressing my forehead to his small one. “But Mom promises when Mom gets better Mom will come home.” His eyes filled again. “Promise?” “Promise,” I repeated more firmly, so he wouldn’t doubt it. “Mom promises I’ll come home.” “Really?” I nodded. He gripped my hand tightly, as if afraid I would disappear if he let go. “Don’t lie!” I was so close to crying. “I am not lying. I will never lie about this.” The question hung in the air even before it w

Julian's POV The auto crept slowly down the morning streets, still wet with dew but the feeling inside seemed thicker than the air outside. In the back mirror, I could see Maximilian curled up on himself, his school bag held to his chest like a tiny shield.His face was gloomy, his lips sticking out, and his eyes still had the leftovers of tears he's been keeping in since we left Vivienne's place earlier.He was rarely truly this gloomy.And it made my chest tighten.I let out a breath, trying to end the quiet. “Maximilian is your seatbelt on.”He only nodded without a word.Usually he would have talked a lot, or complained about the seatbelt "holding his freedom," or something else that could bug me. But this morning not one word came out.I made myself not look at the glass every two seconds, yet it was tough. Each time my eyes spotted that little view, it was like something pulled softly at my heart not because I

Julian's POV “No matter what comes,” I went on, “Dad will always tell you about Mom. You won’t lose a Mom without knowing nothing again Dad won’t let that happen.”His eyes began to shine again. "But mom is ill"“Yes.” I͏ exhaled. “Mom is sick.”“And if Mom dies?”That query struck me more than anything that ever came out of a grown-up's mouth. The wheel felt more heavy in my hands.I didn’t answer right away.Not since I didn't have a reply, but since I was scared my reply would make it true.I gulped, then spoke in a soft, careful tone, “Mom is struggling so that won't occur. The doctors are aiding Mom. The meds are helping the Mom. And you’re also helping a Mom too.”Maximilian frowned. “How am I helping?”I watched the road, but my voice got gentle. “By being a tough kid. By going to school. By eating right. By sleeping enough.” By not making Mom worry.He put his head down, fiddling with t

Julian's POV That mornin felt thick in a way that couldn’t be seen but I could feel it in the back of my neck, in my chest, in every breath I had to keep steady just to stay calm. After persuading Maximilian to have breakfast and get ready I went into the bed room to grab a jacket and work bag.In the dressing mirror, my image looked like a person who hadn’t dozed off in three days. And maybe that was right. Since Vivienne returned since I met her again with that weak body and a grin way too big to cover the hurt sleep wasn’t important anymore. Even Ophelia’s space didn’t give any chance for restI looked at that mirror image longer than I ought to have.My face seemed strange not due to a big change, but because something was gone. The strength I wore like shield. The surety that I always knew what was good. That I could always manage all things.Now I seemed like a guy whose life was cut in half, and both parts were pulling in different way