**Stella's POV** I last four minutes outside Shawn's room. I know because I count them — standing in the corridor with my back against the wall beside the door, arms folded, jaw tight, listening to the particular quality of the silence coming from inside the room and finding it completely unbearable. Four minutes. Auntie Lisa is seated beside me, hands folded, eyes closed, lips moving. Joe is down the hall. The doctor is at his station pretending to look at something on his clipboard. And I am standing here in this corridor being told to wait while Shawn is in that room and Nara is in that room and I am out here doing nothing and I have never been good at doing nothing, I have never once in my life found a way to make peace with standing still when something is happening that I cannot see or control or affect in any way— I push the door open and walk back in. Nara does not look up. "I said—" "I heard what you said," I say. I close the door behind me quietly. "I can't stay o
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