All Chapters of To live before dying : Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

20 Chapters

surprise

The room was too quiet and Eva’s hand was still on the doorknob.Nathan’s words were still hanging in the room like smoke:“I don’t like it when you leave the room without saying goodnight.”It wasn’t what he meant to say, but it was the closest he’d been to honesty with anyone in months.His pulse had betrayed him — a faint flutter beneath his throat.And Eva, despite trying to maintain her professional calm, had inhaled a slow, startled breath she couldn’t hide.Her eyes had softened in a way they weren’t supposed to.Not She opened her mouth to talk..... And then A KNOCK.A loud, sharp, perfectly timed knock cracked through the tension like lightning.Eva flinched.Nathan’s jaw tightened — a flash of irritation snapped across his face so quickly only someone standing close would see it.A micro-expression of his eyebrows slicing downward, lips pressed hard, nostrils slicing, all gone in a sec.Then another emotion followed suit but it was something darker, resigned.Nathan mutte

You slept here ?

'Eva pov' Maria’s knock was always soft, like she was afraid of waking the walls instead of the person inside.Three taps. A pause. Another tap. I blinked myself awake before she even pushed the door open. I must’ve slept harder than I thought, because the morning light had already climbed past the curtains, painting the room in a warm gold. “Good morning,” Maria whispered, poking her head through the door gap. “I didn’t want to scare you.” “You didn’t,” I said, rubbing sleep from my eyes. “What time is it?” “A little past seven.” She entered fully now, carrying her usual tray — a cup of ginger tea, two slices of bread, and that subtle motherly energy she always walked around with. “I thought you might want to eat before you start rounds.”

Nostalgia feeling

AUDREY POV The bar smelled like last night’s whiskey and some trace of lemon polish. I liked that smell..... It was honest and familiar. The kind of smell that reminded you the world was still moving while everyone else was pretending it had stopped.I slowly wiped down a glass one more time, careful to catch every speck of dust. My shift was already halfway over, and the crowd had thinned to the usual late-night regulars who knew better than to get sloppy with the tabs. I let my mind wander a bit, thinking about Eva, thinking about my family more especially me.Eva,My best friend is Over there in that huge, silent mansion, probably hovering over Nathan like she had a clipboard permanently attached to her hand. She didn’t need a boyfriend, not really. But she deserved someone who’d stick, someone who could see her without her having to announce it to the world. I’d do what I could. I always did.The bell above the door jingled, sharp and clean.I looked up.It was Henry.The sight of

I'll be fine

AUDREY POVThe scent of Henry’s cologne lingered in the air of the bar long after he’d gone, a ghost of a moment that refused to fade. I wiped down the counter one more time, the cloth moving in slow, absent circles. My phone buzzed in my apron pocket, and I already knew who it was before I saw her name glowing on the screen.Eva....I picked up on the third ring, pressing the phone to my ear as I walked toward the back room where the noise of the cooling units could drown out my own restless thoughts.“Hey,” I said, trying to sound light. “Everything's okay?”There was a pause on the other end, the kind that told me she’d been rehearsing what to say.“yeah I'm great over here. Just some drama and work ” she said, her voice low." As expected" I giggled a bit. "So tell me, what's the drama about? Hope you're not being... Yunno, yourself around Nathan?" I continued " Arghhhhh Audreyyyy, seriously?""Common Eva, it's All mighty Nathan Ward. You really don't know the opportunity you ha

Sit with me

EVA POV The morning light came in soft through the tall kitchen windows, laying pale gold stripes across the marble countertops. I was measuring Nathan’s medication into the small weekly organizer when Maria walked in, her eyes wider than usual.“He’s up,” she said, voice low as if sharing a secret. “And he’s in the dining room. Asked for breakfast to be served there. For everyone.”I paused, a capsule pinched between my fingers. “Everyone?” I turned looking at her in surprise as my eyes wideneds “You, me, Luna… even offered to call in James and Theo from the garden.” She shook her head, a faint smile touching her lips. “Said, ‘If we’re all living here, we might as well eat like we mean it ”That didn’t sound like Nathan at all. The Nathan I knew took his meals alone, if he took them at all. More often, he’d grab something on the way to the studio or skip entirely. A shared breakfast felt strangely… domestic. And dangerously inviting.“I have his meds ready,” I said, avoiding Maria’

My period

Luna found me in the library.It was past ten, the house quiet in that hollow way that made every sound feel like a confession. I’d been sitting in the armchair by the window, a medical journal open but unread in my lap, just staring out at the dark garden. I heard her before I saw her the click of heels on hardwood, slow and deliberate.“Still working, Nurse Eva?” Her voice was sugar-sweet, the kind that coats a blade.I looked up. She stood in the doorway, dressed in a silk slip dress the colour of red wine, her hair falling in perfect waves. She looked like she belonged in the mansion’s oil paintings, all curated beauty and cold elegance.“Just reading,” I said, closing the journal.She stepped into the room, her eyes scanning the shelves as if she were taking inventory of what was hers. “Nathan used to love this room. Did he tell you that?”“No.”“He’d play the piano in here for hours. Sometimes I’d sit on that couch and just watch him.” She trailed a finger along the spine of a le

Touching myself

EVA POVI stood in the center of my dark bathroom, the silence throbbing in my ears. No water. No way to wash away the evidence of my embarrassment. For a long minute, I just breathed, staring at the dry faucet as if my will alone could make it work.Panic was a cold hand around my throat, but I forced it down, trying to stay calm.Think, Eva. Think....My eyes landed on the pack of bottled water by the mini fridge in the corner, the one Maria kept stocked for late-night hydration. Six small bottles. It would have to do.I moved quickly, quietly, locking the bedroom door before stripping off my stained scrubs. The fabric clung unpleasantly, and I avoided looking at it directly, bundling it into a tight ball before stuffing it into the bottom of my laundry bag. In the dim light from the hallway slipping under the door, I could see enough to clean myself—a clumsy, inefficient process, but it was all I had.The water was cool, shocking against my skin. I used one bottle to rinse my butt,

The spaces between

The shower’s steam clung to my skin long after the water stopped. It fogged the mirror, hid my reflection, and for a few merciful minutes, it hid me from myself. My fingers trembled as I wiped a clear circle on the mirror opposite to me. I saw a clear reflection of myself with my hair damp and water dripping on my shoulders.My face appeared flushed, wide-eyed and for seconds I admired my lips.Then I recalled i wasn't in my bathroom but in Nathan's bathroom, that moment struck me a little.I hurriedly dry my hair with my towel and wore my cloth back. A dress that wasn't meant to be called a cloth cause it doesn't cover one's body. I stood at the mirror again adjusting the cloth and I became shy of the thought that came to my head.' how am I gonna stand like this again in front of him, oh Jess'.I had to remind myself again that I'm a nurse and He’s my patient. I have a boyfriend, Henry.Henry who brought me daisies last Tuesday.Always trying to check up on me and I wondered how

Echoes in me

“Right...... sure” he said, the word felt hard to pronounce. He ran a hand through his hair and For a second, he looked less like the all-mighty Nathan and more like a man who’d been gut-punched. “Of course.”The taste of him on my lips was a sin.I couldn’t bear it The sight of him, half-naked and ravaged by the same need that was tearing me apart. The weight of my own betrayal of Henry, of my oath and of myself.So I did the only thing my shattered nerves would allow.I ran...I ducked around him, my bare feet silent on the rug, and fled through his bedroom door into the dim, cold hallway. The sound of the door shutting behind me was the loudest sound I’d ever heard.I pushed off from the door and ran.Not the graceful, dramatic run in novels, but a barefoot flight. My dignity wasn’t just left in his room; it was scattered along the hallway behind me like discarded clothing.I felt exposed, skinless with every nerve ending screaming with the memory of his hands, his mouth, the hard

Is it shame or anger?

As Sarah fled down the hall, I was already running the other way towards his door my bare feet slapping against the polished floors. My mind raced through possibilities: cardiac event? Seizure? A fall?.........Nathan’s condition is rare neurological disorder including episodes of violent tremors, muscle lock, and debilitating pain. They were unpredictable, often stress and emotional induced. The file had been clear, but I’d never witnessed one.I skidded to a halt outside his door and truly There was no sound. My hand, the same one that had hovered here just hours before, now gripped the handle. I didn’t knock rather I turned it.It was locked.“Nathan!” I called, rapping sharply on the wood. “Nathan, it’s Eva. Open the door if you can. I’m coming in!”Still silence...I stepped back and, with a strength born of pure adrenaline, I drove my shoulder into the door just beside the lock. The old wood gave with a splintering crack.The scene inside froze the blood in my veins.The beaut

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