All Chapters of It should have been just once: Chapter 1 - Chapter 5

Harriet~ “He knows you've been eye fucking him all evening,” Shirley says taking a sip of her alcoholic drink. The music isn’t loud enough that anyone needs to shout but it’s enough to keep the party I’m at moving. “You can't blame me, he looks so good I am actually down to reach second base with him, despite him being a total stranger,” I tell her trying to pretend like he didn't just catch me staring at him again Shirley whistles. “Go girl. Never thought I'd see the day you'd go wild. If you keep at it you may get rid of that card tonight.” I blush furiously looking around to see if anyone else had just heard what she said. “You’re loud Shir, besides I said just second base. I’m not having sex with a stranger.” She shrugs and takes another sip of her drink. I take a chug of mine as well noting that I’ve barely paid it attention in the past half an hour and it’s getting warm. Shirley and her boyfriend made come home a day earlier than I was supposed to just to make me tag

Harriet~ “Hi mum, I just arrived.” I lie getting ready to head home. My foster parents have no idea that I’ve been back for a day now, came in yesterday, attended a party with Shirley and fucked a stranger named Von out of my own sheer stupidity and I can’t even find a place in me to regret it. I’m no longer a virgin but I can’t even tell Shirley the story because she probably won’t understand. “Hi darling, did you get my text last night?” I check my phone to see it had come in around the same time Von was giving me aftercare. Wait. “Mum what do you mean by I’d be spending the Christmas with Dev? I haven’t seen him in years and suddenly You're leaving me alone with him?” Dev was the boy who loved me like a sister just before we got adopted. After our adoption we grew so wide apart that he only spoke to my foster parents not me, for reasons I never knew. “Listen baby…” I cringe as the endearment, the lady person who called me that was a stranger and he was touching me

Harriet~ By the time we finish eating, the whole house smells like onions and pepper and something faintly citrusy that must’ve been on Devon’s hands. He barely speaks while we wash up. He just nods when I pass him a plate, grunts something that sounds like thanks, and keeps his gaze fixed anywhere except on me. It’s ridiculous because he’s seen every part of me, dragged orgasm out of me with a stranger’s ease, but now he can’t even look at my face. Fine. Two can play that game. The night settles slowly around the house. I hear the old pipes groan when he goes down the hallway to brush his teeth, hear his footsteps soften like he’s trying not to disturb me even though I’m the only other human inside this grey, too-quiet house. I take my toiletries to the bathroom, partly because I want to shower and partly because I’m avoiding the moment where we both lie in that room pretending the memory of last night doesn’t hover between us like smoke. I turn the water on hot. Steam fog