Justin,I tried to stay nonchalant about her. I tried to avoid thinking about her as well, pushing her thoughts to the farthest corners of my mind. Despite what the doctor said, that I would barely think like a normal person, barely feel like one, when I spent time with her the last time, it felt like I was with a missing part of myself.In the last few months, I went to different countries, moving from one place to another without staying long enough to belong anywhere. Whenever I saw a beautiful place or watched people laugh and live their lives, I kept wondering how she would have reacted. Whether she would have smiled softly or laughed freely. Whether she would have stayed quiet, just observing like she used to, or if she would have pulled me along into something unexpected.I kept reading the diary, over and over again, wondering if my old self had felt that way too. That pull toward her. That quiet, aching need to see her, to hold her, or perhaps, to make her happy.And he did.
Read more