Chapter Twenty-One

DAMIEN'S POVThree weeks after Lily was born, Emma filed for expanded visitation rights with Nathan.My lawyer called on a Tuesday morning while I was at Olivia's apartment for the scheduled visit. I stepped into the hallway to take it."She's claiming the current arrangement limits Nathan's connection to his maternal family," my lawyer said. "She wants biweekly overnight visits starting at six weeks.""He's four weeks old.""I know. The filing is aggressive and unlikely to succeed at this stage. But she's establishing a paper trail.""Counter it. Full opposition. Nathan is four weeks old and overnights at this stage are medically inadvisable. Get a pediatric statement from his doctor.""Already on it. But Damien, she'll keep filing. This isn't going away."I knew that. Emma was methodical. She'd been building toward something since Catherine died and Nathan's existence gave her a permanent foothold. I'd underestimated how far she'd take it."Keep me updated," I said and went back ins

Chapter Twenty Two

OLIVIA'S POVGrace watched Lily for two hours on a Saturday afternoon so I could shower without listening for sounds and sit in my own living room without a baby attached to me.I lasted forty minutes before I missed her.I was standing in the kitchen making tea when Damien knocked. Scheduled visit, eleven o'clock. I'd forgotten to check the time.He came in with Nathan in the carrier against his chest and stopped when he saw my face."What happened?""Nothing. Grace has Lily. I was trying to have two hours to myself and I've spent forty minutes missing her."He looked at me with something that was almost amusement. "That doesn't go away.""Helpful.""It gets easier to sit with." He unclipped the carrier and settled Nathan against his shoulder. "You look better.""Than what?""Than three weeks ago. You had this look like you were running on reserves you weren't sure would last.""I was." I poured a second cup without thinking and pushed it across the counter to him. "The six week mark

Chapter Twenty-Three

DAMIEN'S POVI stayed for dinner.Olivia made pasta, the simple kind, olive oil and garlic and whatever was in the refrigerator. I sat at the kitchen counter with Nathan in the bassinet beside me and watched her move around the small kitchen with the ease of someone fully inhabiting their space.This was different from the Ross house. There she'd always been slightly careful, slightly aware of the edges of what she was allowed to occupy. Here everything was hers. The coffee cups hung in a specific order. The windowsill had three plants and the ultrasound image she'd never moved. The dish towels were mismatched and the good knife was in the wrong drawer and all of it was completely and specifically Olivia.I liked being in it."You're staring," she said without turning around."I'm watching you cook.""Same thing.""Different intention."She paused briefly at the stove. Just a pause. Then she kept stirring.The monitor on the counter crackled softly. Lily shifting in her sleep. We both

Chapter Twenty-four

OLIVIA'S POVGrace knew immediately. I came downstairs Sunday morning with Lily for our usual coffee and she looked at my face for approximately four seconds and said "something happened.""Nothing happened.""Something almost happened."I sat down. "I touched his face."Grace set down her cup. "You touched his face.""Briefly. Three seconds maybe."She studied me. "And?""And he left. And I stood in my kitchen for twenty minutes after thinking about three seconds of contact like a person who has completely lost perspective.""You haven't lost perspective. You've been alone for six weeks with a newborn and before that you spent months being careful and controlled." She refilled her coffee. "Three seconds is significant when you've been that careful.""It can't move fast.""It doesn't sound fast to me. It sounds like it's been moving for months and you're only just letting yourself feel it."I looked at Lily in the bouncer on Grace's kitchen floor. She was studying the ceiling fan with

Chapter Twenty-Five

DAMIEN'S POVThursday morning I was at her door at seven twenty-eight.Two minutes early because I'd been sitting in my car outside for six minutes talking myself out of being too early and miscalculated. I stood in the hallway and knocked and heard her moving inside.She opened the door in her scrubs.I hadn't seen her in work clothes before. Not these. The hospital ID clipped to her chest, hair back, the particular readiness of someone who knew what they were walking into. She looked like herself in a way that was different from every other version of herself I'd seen. Competent and specific and completely grounded."You're early," she said."Two minutes.""I said seven thirty.""I know. I was in the car."She looked at me for a second. Then stepped back to let me in.The apartment was quiet. Lily was already with Grace, dropped off twenty minutes ago according to the text Olivia had sent me last night when she'd been managing logistics the way she managed everything, systematically

Chapter Twenty-Six

OLIVIA'S POVLily was six weeks old had developed opinions about everything. She had a preferred side to sleep on, a specific objection to the purple blanket Grace had knitted, and a clear preference for Damien's voice over most other sounds, which she demonstrated by going still and tracking whenever he spoke.I noticed it every visit and said nothing.Grace noticed me noticing and said plenty."She knows her father," Grace said on a Tuesday morning, watching Lily track Damien across the kitchen from her bouncer. "That's not learned. That's instinct.""She's six weeks old. Everything is instinct.""Including yours." Grace picked up her tea. "How are things?""Careful.""Still?""Carefully less careful." I watched Damien show Ethan something on his phone at the counter, Nathan on his shoulder, Lily making her tracking face. All of them in my kitchen on a Tuesday morning. "It's a lot to hold.""It looks like a family," Grace said."Grace.""I'm observing. Not pushing.""You're always p