All Chapters of My FaCiAl Disorder : Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

19 Chapters

The Mirror And The Ashes.

"I'm not going, Mom! I told you a hundred times- I'm not going back to school." My voice cracked, caught somewhere between rage and fear, both of which I'd gotten too good at bottling up. I stood at the top of the staircase, arms crossed tight across my chest like I could shield myself from her words- maybe from the world. Every nerve in my body felt exposed, raw, like skin rubbed too thin. "You have to try, baby. You can't hide forever. I know it's hard but staying locked in your room won't bring your life back." My mom said from the bottom of the stairs. She held my old backpack in her hand- the one I used to cover with pins and glittery nonsense like 'Smile more' and 'Live Loud'. Now it just looked like a memory that didn't belong to me anymore. "You think just because I walk into that school, everything will be okay," I snapped. "They're going to stare at me, Mom! They're going to laugh or pity me, or wor

The Decision i

When I woke up, the world was quieter. Not silent- just... softer. I blinked slowly, adjusting to the morning light pouring in through the pale blue curtains. My chest felt tight, my eyes heavy and swollen from crying in my sleep. My body ached, but in a dull, distant kind of way- like the pain had pulled back just enough to let me breathe. My mom was curled up on the narrow armchair besides my bed, one leg tucked under her, her cheek presses into her palm. Her head tilted slightly towards me, and I could see how uncomfortable she must must have been all night- still in her yesterday's clothes, her hand resting near mine, like she'd been holding it only let go once I'd fallen asleep. She looked exhausted. Fragile, even. There were dark circles under her eyes, and a faint line between her brows that hadn't been there, that's something new. She started to look like this is a few months ago. Did I cause it. I was busy think

The Decision ii

As I walked throught the school gates, it felt like the world pressed pause- like the air itself was thickened and every breath took twice my effort. Everyone stopped what they were doing just to stare at me. Was I too noticeable that it's my first day, that am new after a long time. My footsteps slowed against the pavement and for a moment, I swear even the birds stopped chirping. My heartbeat thundered in my ears like an alarm I couldn't shut off. I couldn't tell if it was fear, or shame, or something in between- but it gripped me so tightly I almost turned back. But then I pictured my mother. The way she smiled when I said I'd try. The way she folded my scarf carefully the night before, like it was armor. I couldn't disappoint her. Not now. The scarf hugged my face gently. Wrapping around my face only revealing my eyes, they are one of my body parts that's still intact and the same. I adjusted it over and over again making sure that only my eyes showed. The part I

The Decision iii

I flinched. I was late. Panic twisted in my gut. I clutched my papers to my chest and looked around. Nothing looked the same. The school had changed- walls painted, new colors, rooms reshuffled, halls renamed. My memory from freshman was useless now. I turned a corner, then backtracked. Every classroom number felt out of order. By the time I finally spotted the right room number -3B- my palms were slick with sweat, and my heart had already sunk to the pit of my stomach. I cracked the classroom door open as I slipped inside, trying to make myself invisible. My hands were trembling slightly as I clutched my books to my chest. I hope- prayed- no one would say anything. But as soon as I stepped through the threshold, the room quieted. Just slightly. Enough for me to feel it. Eyes flicked towards me. Some didn't bother hiding their stares. Then my eyes flew to a particular person, Tasha. Oh no. Why did I have to be in the same class as her. As if that was not enough Charl

The Dark Hallway i

The last bell rang. And I couldn't wait any longer than I have today. I texted my mom three times to wait for me near the school gate. I shoved my books into my bag with the kind of fury only teenage girls and lightning storms could manage. I went out the classroom and went down the back dark hallway- quiet, empty, shadowed. Quicker exist. I turned the corner sharply- and slammed right into someone. "Agh-!" I gasped, stunning back. The person barely moved.I looked up. It's a guy- he was tall. Automatically, my eyes traveled from his feet up to chest, up to his jaw, then to his face- and that's when I froze. My breath caught in my throat. To my absolute suprise... It was him.JADE VALE. Well known as TJ.The same guy that me and my previous best friend used to blab about. The boy I'd dreamed about,written about, secretly obsessed over- the guy I was in love with since primary. The one I never got to talk too. The guy I would watch from distant. Now th

The Dark Hallway ii

I woke up before my alarm. It wasn't even six yet, but the sky outside my window was already beginning to lighten. For a moment, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering why I felt so... alive. Then I remembered- him. The memory flared sharp and vivid: the corner of the school building, the faint curl of smoke that he exhaled. The way he hasn't flinched when I caught him. The way he moved- smooth, slow, dangerously calm- as he stepped closer. The heat of his body when he pinned my wrists against the wall, not hurting me, just holding me there. Testing. Teasing. His voice low and mocking. "People love to pretend they're not snitches... Until it's convenient." That look. His breath smelling like mint and smoke and trouble. And me- heart in my throat, unable to speak. I slid out of bed, feet touching the cold floor, and padded to the bathroom. By the time I

In The Same Class.

By lunch, I was exhausted from pretending I didn't care. I sat on the bench, that me and my best friend used to sit. The one beneath the crooked tree where hardly anyone ever sat. I liked it, even now. It was tucked away just enough that I didn't feel entirely exposed, but not isolated that I'd draw more attention. I sat down carefully, scarf snug and hands in my lap. I had a lunchbox in my bag. Packed carefully this morning. A sandwich, cut diagonally the way Mom always did. Apple slices. A small packet of crisps. Nothing unusual. Nothing loud. And yet... It stayed in my bag. I was hungry. My stomach twisted around itself. Still... I didn't reach for the lunchbox. Because eating meant removing the scarf. And removing the scarf meant being seen. I imagined it- fumbling with the fabric, people walking by, someone catching a glimpse- someone like Melissa or Tasha. Or worse- Jade. What if someone

In The Same Class ii

I didn't understand why does Jade do this to me, his presence. Everything. It clung to me the whole way down the hallway into the open light of the front yard. And that's when I saw her.My mom.She was across the street-half-out the car, key in hand, like she'd just parked. Still in her work uniform.And her eyes weren't on me.Not at first.They were on him.Jade.He was walking ahead of me, backpack slung lazily over one shoulder, hoodie still up, going to a particular black Mercedes Benz I saw few years ago on Instagram.But she watching.Frozen beside the car, her brows drawn up in a look I'd only seen when she spotted something amusing. Her hand still on the door, like she'd forgotten she meant to close it. Then her eyes shifted- To me.I slowed automatically, the heat rising in my cheeks before I even reached her side. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. She probably now ha

The Truth About The Mysterious Him

JADE'S POINT OF VIEW. It was 5:00 and I was already on the streets. I jogged until my lungs burned. Not because I was trying to get fit. Not because I liked it. I just like being gone. Out there, past the gates of this damned house, with the wind in my ears and my hoodie pulled low, no one looked at me like they knew my name. No one talked. No one asked. The neighborhood was quiet- maybe because they were few big houses along with tall, big trees that you would be lost in, if you didn't know the place. I jogged past them like I didn't belong in any of them. Maybe I didn't. By the time I got back, the sun had barely risen above the trees, and sweat clung to the back of my neck. I pulled off my headphones as I stepped through the tall glass front doors. The house smelled cinnamon and perfume. It always had too many different perfumes everyday. I already knew

Hit For A Stranger i

JADE'S POINT OF VIEW.I opened the door, anger burning inside of me, when I was welcomed by something unusual: the smell of trying bacon and toast. I'd been at my place all night, the one my mother gifted me. It was the only space I could call my own, the only refuge from this mess. But I needed some things here- clothes, papers- so I came back. I stepped into the kitchen and stopped. Jackson stood by the stove, sleeves rolled up, turning eggs in a pan like it was something he did often- which he didn't. The smell was warm, rich, almost too good to be real. "Sit. Eat," he said. He didn't ask questions. He didn't want to know where i'd been. Jackson didn't care about that. I hesitated, staring at him. "Sit," he repeated, voice cold, commanding. Reluctantly, I pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. The smell of breakfast hit me- eggs, bacon, toast. Its been long since I had

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