I woke up first.The room was full of early light, the particular kind that came off the sea in the morning, softer and more diffuse than city light, filling the room without edges. I lay still for a moment just breathing it in and then I turned my head and looked at him.He was asleep.I had never seen him sleep before. Not properly. Not like this, on his back with one arm still loosely around me and his face completely unguarded in a way that waking hours never allowed. The controlled precision was gone entirely. He just looked like a person. Younger than usual. The lines that lived around his eyes smoothed out, the jaw unclenched, all the careful management of how he presented himself to the world simply switched off.I looked at him for a long time.I had been falling for him in pieces for weeks, one small honest thing at a time, and I had been managing that falling the way I managed most things, carefully and with both eyes open. But lying in the early morning light looking at Da
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