He was good at learning things from the middle. He had done it. He was still doing it. Alessandro reached for him now with the automatic reflex of a child who had never known him any other way than present, which meant he had done the work so completely that the gap was invisible from Alessandro's side. But he had never been there for the beginning. He didn't know what it felt like to be present from the first appointment. From the first heartbeat. From the week after the positive test, when everything was still a fact rather than a person. He was at the beginning now, and the beginning required a different way of holding something. "I'm not worried," I said to Jeffery. "I know. You'd sound different if you were worried." "I'm observing." "I know that too." We talked for a few more minutes about other things, Mara, the plans he was making to come in the spring, something Corporal had done that he found unreasonable. By the time we hung up, I had that feeling I always ha
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