All Chapters of By the Time They Missed Me, I Was Gone: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

"Boston University is perfect for Lily." Ethan set his tablet in the middle of the dining table and tapped the campus map. "I'm at Northeastern, so I'm less than twenty minutes away on the T. If anyone gives you trouble, call me."Lily rested her chin in her hands and gave him one of her sweet, grateful smiles. "I always feel safer when you're around. But Ryan has wanted McGill forever. I can't ask everyone to rearrange their lives just because I'm nervous."She said she couldn't ask, but her eyes were already on Ryan.He closed the McGill acceptance page on his laptop as casually as if he were canceling dinner reservations. "It's just a school. I can get an education anywhere. BU accepted me too, so I'll stay."Three years ago, Ryan and I had sat beside the Charles River and promised that if McGill accepted us both, we would go to Montreal together. He knew I wanted to study molecular biology and escape a home where every decision somehow revolved around Lily.Back then, he had promis

I stared through the plastic lid at the layer of chopped nuts and kept my hands at my sides.Ryan had already taken a seat beside Lily and was helping her pick dresses for her graduation trip to Santorini. When he noticed me standing by the kitchen island, he asked, "What's wrong? Maple pecan is their seasonal special.""I have a severe tree-nut allergy."He hesitated, as though trying to decide whether I was causing trouble on purpose. "Didn't you eat a walnut brownie when we were kids?""And then I spent the night in the ER."Ryan had sat beside me in that hospital hallway at thirteen, shaking as he promised to check the allergen list whenever he bought me food.Five years later, he remembered that Lily didn't like regular milk and forgot what could stop me from breathing.Ethan walked in from the living room and saw the drink in my hand. "Can't you scrape the nuts off? Ryan went out of his way to get you something, and you haven't even thanked him.""An allergen isn't a garnish. Scr

At 5:40 that afternoon, Lily's travel cake still hadn't arrived at the restaurant.Mom called me three times and got the same unavailable message. She set down her phone and told the table, "Nora is still sulking over the money. She's always been so independent that sometimes she gets stuck in her own head."Lily looked down and managed a brave little smile. "It's okay. We can have the restaurant's dessert. Today shouldn't be all about me anyway. She probably feels overlooked."With one sentence, she turned Mom's theft into a jealous sister's bid for attention.For the first time, Ryan didn't rush to comfort her.He remembered the pecan-covered shake. He remembered me saying the money was for college and how not one person had asked which college."When was the last time any of you saw her?" he asked.Ethan shrugged. "She was home this morning. She has no money. Where would she go?"After brunch, they returned to the house. There was no cake in the kitchen, only the untouched bakery sl

Near the end of October, Dad emailed asking for a video call.He no longer ordered me to come home. He said Mom had returned the money and they wanted to know how I was doing. I waited a day before agreeing to give them twenty minutes.When the call connected, my parents were sitting in the Bennett kitchen. The refrigerator behind Mom was covered with Lily's Santorini pictures. My only graduation photo was still the one with my eyes half closed.Dad spoke first. "You look okay.""I'm doing well."Mom's eyes were red. "Then why couldn't you leave one message? We looked everywhere. We almost called the police.""You didn't notice I was gone until you needed me to pick up Lily's cake.""That was a coincidence," she said quickly. "It's not that we don't care. You've just never needed much from us. You applied to Edinburgh, got a visa, and won a scholarship. Why didn't you tell us any of it?"The question was so absurd I almost laughed."I was sitting in front of you on college decision nig

During the last week of January, Ryan came to Edinburgh.He emailed beforehand to say he would wait in the student center until four. I didn't want to see him, but the longer certain things went unsaid, the easier it became for people to mistake silence for an open door.I gave him fifteen minutes.He looked thinner than he had in the summer. He sat by the window with a cup of hot chocolate that had long since gone cold. When I approached, he stood at once but didn't reach for me the way he once would have."Thank you for coming.""What do you want to say?"Ryan took an old brass souvenir token from his coat pocket. We had pressed it at the Montreal Science Centre when we were fifteen. We carved our names into the back and promised that one day we would return to the city for college."I didn't forget this," he said."You just didn't choose it when choosing mattered."His fingers tightened around the token. "Lily told me you were staying in Boston. She said McGill hadn't accepted you a