Lahat ng Kabanata ng My Mother’s Ledger Ended With My Death: Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 9

My backpack was still in the car when Mom dragged me to the cistern.The driver had barely wished me a happy Thanksgiving before she caught my wrist and led me behind the estate. A child was crying underground. I glanced through the opening, narrowed by an old metal frame, and stepped back.Pain pulled across the incision beneath my coat. When I covered it, Mom tugged my hand away.“Stand still. Owen is waiting.”A man in a volunteer rescue jacket was reporting our location over his radio. He stepped between us.“Mrs. Moretti, the specialist team is coming. We haven’t assessed the space.”“How long will that take? Can you promise Owen has that long?”My father ran the Moretti crime family. Several of his guards stood nearby with families who had come for dinner. Owen’s grandmother was crying in a chair while someone called his name through the opening.Mom pushed me forward.“Lily is eighteen. She’s small enough, and she wants to help.”The volunteer looked at the hand I had pressed ag

The volunteer shifted his flashlight toward me. The beam caught the blood soaking through my sleeve.“Lily, hold on to the rope. We’re bringing you up.”I reached for it with both hands. Mom reminded him about the car, but he kept watching me and told the man beside him to hold the line steady.“She’s bleeding. Step back.”“You should remember whose property you’re on.”I tried to straighten, but pain folded me over before I could secure the rope around myself. The volunteer leaned farther down, talking me through it.“Take your time. The rescue team is almost here.”I followed his voice, drawing shallow breaths as I worked the rope beneath my arms.“Lily,” Mom said, “are you really coming up empty-handed?”I looked toward her silhouette beside the light.“Let me rest first. Then I can look again.”She turned toward a guard and reached for something at his belt. The volunteer shouted for her to stop.The rope suddenly went slack.My shoulder and side struck the wall, and I fell into th

When I saw Mom again, she was cutting turkey on Serena’s plate.I reached for her shoulder. My fingers passed through her cardigan without disturbing the shawl draped over her chair.“Mom?”She pushed the plate toward my sister and reminded her to eat slowly. Serena reached straight through me for the salt.Outside, equipment rattled across the paving. A guest glanced toward the windows.“Is Lily still out there?”“The rescue crew is handling it,” Dad said, signaling for more wine.Mom spread her napkin across her lap.“She’ll need some rest afterward. We’ll have something sent upstairs.”I touched my side. The pain was gone, and my hands were clean, though I remembered blood between my fingers. I remembered lying in the mud while someone begged me to open my eyes.My backpack stood beside the dining room door. I went to retrieve the Family Weekend brochure, but my fingers slipped through the zipper.Behind me, Serena asked, “Is she angry again?”“Eat your dinner, sweetheart.”“I’m wor

Mom pressed her palm against my cheek, then touched my forehead and turned to Dad.“Give me your coat. She’s cold.”He took it off immediately. She spread it over me and pulled the collar close, avoiding the bloodstained areas.I stood beside the stretcher while she arranged the sleeves. The last time she had cared for me like this was before the fire. When I was sick, she used to reach beneath the blankets to check whether my feet were warm.“Lily, let’s get you to your room.”She tried to lift me, but the doctor intervened, explaining that they needed to wait for the personnel who would take custody of my body.“She can’t stay outside,” Mom said, supporting my shoulders. “Look how little she’s wearing.”My coat was in the bag nearby. She had made me wear it for three years. When the cuffs frayed last winter, I asked for a new one. She reminded me that she had just paid a widow’s rent and told me to be considerate.Now she kept gathering Dad’s coat around me. Her fingers brushed an in

When Dad chose clothes for my funeral, he asked my size for the first time.The housekeeper couldn’t answer. Serena brought out one of her dresses and said it could be altered. Dad looked at it, then pushed it back.“Buy something for Lily.”Several outfits arrived. He chose a pale blue dress, but when the funeral director asked about my favorite jewelry, he searched through a box and eventually closed it.I owned one thin silver chain. My roommate had given it to me for my eighteenth birthday. She brought it to Dad and explained that I rarely wore it because I was afraid of breaking it while working.He held it across his palm before asking the funeral director to put it on me.At the service, Owen came with his grandmother and placed a piece of chocolate beside my photograph.“This one didn’t get squashed.”His grandmother took his hand and apologized to Dad for thinking only of her grandson that afternoon.Dad sat in the front row, staring at the chocolate.“What else did Lily say d