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All Chapters of The Group Chat Without Me: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30

31 Chapters

Chapter 21

Nora thought I didn’t like it.“If you don’t want to celebrate, we can put the candles away.”“No.”I shook my head.“I do.”She smiled.“Then come here.”Before I blew out the candles, Leo said, “Wish for something you don’t need anyone’s permission to want.”I closed my eyes.For years, my wishes had been nearly identical.Keep us together.Don’t let Claude get too busy to remember our dates.Keep Jack from getting hurt.Let people love Ethan’s designs.Let Hunter make his best film.Those weren’t bad wishes.There had simply been so little room for me.This time, I thought:Let me keep doing research I love.Let difficulty stop feeling like proof I’m not worthy.Let me go where I want, even if no one comes.Afterward, someone put a paper hat on my head.I didn’t cry.But halfway through my second piece of cake, something inside me finally loosened.***My parents called half an hour later.Seeing everyone behind me surprised them.Then my mother smiled.“At least I don’t have to wor

Chapter 22

On the conference’s second afternoon, I opened my computer in the lounge.My father had sent a message.[Claude asked me to forward a letter. He knows you might not read it. I said I would ask first.]My heartbeat stumbled at the name.Three years hadn’t erased every reaction.Some parts of me moved more slowly than reason.I closed the message and went to give my presentation.Only that evening, back at the hotel, did I reply.[You can send it.]***The letter wasn’t long.He didn’t describe how miserable he was.He didn’t count the days he had waited.He didn’t ask whether I had new friends, a new life, someone new to love.He listed what he had done.Falsified an enrollment confirmation.Used my faith in our promise to manipulate my college decision.Dismissed our breakup as something I didn’t mean.Seen me surrounded at school and failed to intervene.Entered my bedroom without permission and searched my belongings.Deleted my files after I explicitly told him not to.At the end, h

Chapter 23

In my fourth winter, our project suffered its worst test failure.I had completed most of my undergraduate coursework, taken on steadier responsibilities with the group, and begun preparing applications for the next stage.We brought the system to a mountain station for a long-duration test.The first two days went smoothly.On the third night, the weather changed.Equipment began returning errors.There were no movie sparks.It was worse in its own way.Things simply stopped working.Data feeds dropped one by one.Stable curves became disconnected, meaningless lines.Looking at the logs, I immediately thought of my module.“It might be my fault.”Elena didn’t answer right away.First, she confirmed everyone was safe.Ordered the equipment shut down.Had us withdraw indoors according to procedure.Wind shook the building when the door closed.I stood beside the radiator, still wearing my gloves.“I want to run it again now.”“Eat first.”“But—”“Vivian.”She looked at me.“Being hungry

Chapter 24

After the test, we celebrated in the station’s tiny kitchen.No champagne.A few sodas, slices of bread, and chocolate Nora had brought from the valley.Leo raised his cup.“To nobody throwing a computer out the window.”Elena corrected him.“To being willing to admit what you don’t know.”Everyone laughed.My soda was nearly flat.There was nothing special about the taste.I remembered that night anyway.The wind outside.The lights inside.Everyone exhausted beyond recognition.No one expected to stay behind and clean up the failure alone.***The next day, I called my parents.My father frowned at the shadows under my eyes.“Busy?”“Yes.”“Going well?”I considered it.“Not entirely. We had a failure.”He didn’t rush to reassure me.“Want to tell us?”I explained from the beginning.My mother didn’t understand every technical detail.She never interrupted.Near the end, I started smiling.“But we found the problem.”My father smiled back.“That must have felt good.”I nodded.“Reall

Chapter 25

I looked at the empty space in the serving tray and laughed.“I know.”When my mother heard I was coming, she asked for the flight details three times.My father said only, “I’ll pick you up.”I remembered being eighteen.I wanted to see you off.Some love had never required me to return before it could exist.***Before leaving, I organized my old computer.In a long-unopened folder were letters my father had kept.Claude’s first.Jack’s second.Ethan’s corrected contribution statement.Hunter’s catalog of old footage.And Chloe’s apology, still with the teacher after I had refused it.The teacher had recently asked whether I wanted to deal with it.This time, I said yes.There were no excuses of the kind I had expected.Chloe wrote that she had once believed if people willingly handed her things I had, that meant she was entitled to take them.She hadn’t only envied gifts and friends.She envied the place I seemed to hold without ever having to fight for it.So she had tested it.If

Chapter 26

A row of lockers had been replaced by a display area.I stopped.Nothing dramatic happened.No one rushed out to apologize.The wounds didn’t all tear open at once.I simply remembered.How cold my wet skirt had felt.The sound of the camera hitting the steps.Looking toward the far end of the hall.No one coming.I stood there and slowly breathed out.Then walked outside.***On presentation day, my phone buzzed all morning.Colleagues checking materials.The moderator confirming pronunciation.My mother asking whether I needed comfortable shoes.Backstage, Nora adjusted my microphone cable.“Cold hands?”“A little.”She gave me a hand warmer.“Don’t take it onstage. Leo almost projected the wrapper onto the screen last time.”“That was two years ago,” someone protested nearby.I laughed.Beyond the door, the audience gradually quieted.The host began introducing us.At the side of the stage, I heard my name.Vivian Moretti.Not someone’s girlfriend.Not the girl four boys protected.

Chapter 27

“Being independent doesn’t mean needing no one,” I continued.“It means choosing who to ask, who to travel with, and when to leave.”The girl nodded and sat down.My mother’s eyes were wet.She smiled at me.***Applause filled the room when the presentation ended.I bowed.When I straightened, the four of them were standing too.For a moment, Claude seemed to have forgotten how to clap.Jack’s eyes were red.Ethan took off his glasses and wiped them.Hunter finally lifted his camera.Then looked at me.Across the room, he raised a hand slightly, asking.I didn’t respond.He waited two seconds.Put the camera down.I turned to hug my colleagues.I didn’t feel triumphant.I didn’t feel regret.I was simply happy.And that happiness belonged entirely to me.***Claude waited at the end of the corridor.Not in the middle of the exit.He didn’t reach out to stop me.He only said my name.“Vivian.”I stopped.Beside me, Nora looked at my face.“Go ahead. I’ll catch up,” I told her.“Want me

Chapter 28

Ethan handed me an exhibition invitation.“New York. Next month.”I looked at it.He didn’t insist I come.He didn’t ask whether I still liked his designs.“I added your name to the acknowledgments.”“I heard.”“It should have happened sooner.”“Yes.”He looked down.“Thank you for what you did.”I nodded.“That, I’ll accept.”He looked up, surprised.I put the invitation in my document bag.Not a promise.An ordinary invitation.He seemed to understand.He didn’t press.***Hunter stood farthest away.Only after the others had spoken did he approach.“I didn’t photograph you.”I glanced at his camera.“I saw.”“I used to think if something was on film, you could keep it forever.”He gave a small, humorless smile.“Turns out you can’t.”I said nothing.“Do you still take pictures?”“Yes.”“With that camera?”“I still have it. It’s been repaired.”He stared.Perhaps he had imagined I’d thrown away everything connected to the past.“The camera didn’t do anything wrong,” I said.His eyes

Chapter 29

They were arguing about whether the potatoes needed another five minutes.My mother turned.“What’s funny? Come set the table.”“I’m the person being celebrated.”“Researchers still need to eat.”I washed my hands and took the plates.Roast chicken. Vegetables. Apple pie from my childhood.No one stared at a phone.No one stood up halfway through because another girl needed them more.My mother asked about my colleagues.I told her someone kept the lab plants in better condition than the data.Someone needed exactly the same coffee every morning.Someone had borrowed a digital scale to prove the cafeteria pudding wasn’t sweet enough.My father nearly choked laughing.I laughed too.Then noticed my mother watching.“What?”“Nothing.” She cut a small piece of chicken. “On video calls, you always say work is fine, food is fine, everything’s fine.”My fork stopped.“Am I talking too much now?”“Not enough. Keep going.”So I did.The first field trip, when my gloves were too thick to uncap

Chapter 30

“You don’t have to take it,” Jack said. “I just wanted you to know I kept it.”I looked at the medal.“It was always yours.”He swallowed and closed his hand around it.Ethan held a slim sketchbook.“Not the old one. I’m not asking you to take it. I just…”He couldn’t finish.I could imagine how long they had prepared.What to say.Where to stand.How to look as though they weren’t asking for immediate forgiveness.None of that changed the fact that I didn’t want these things.Claude glanced toward the patio.“Chloe left Boston last year.”I said nothing.“We haven’t spoken in a long time. We also gave the school written statements. Everything that happened. Including what we saw and didn’t stop.”“We didn’t repost the video,” Hunter said quietly. “We gave the original files and statements to the school.”I nodded.“That was your responsibility.”“I know.”Claude’s voice was rough.“I used to think once everything with Chloe was settled, you’d stop being angry.”“Then I thought fixing

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