Before winter, Luca requested one final visit.I thought about it for two days.Then I agreed.Across the glass, he looked thinner.He lifted the receiver.“Does your leg still hurt?”I didn’t answer.“Why did you ask me here?”He lowered his eyes and picked up a sheet of paper.“I wrote an account. The time he was born. The orders I gave. Everything I did.”“My lawyer will send it to you. Not for forgiveness. So no one can tell you that you remembered it wrong.”I looked at the paper.At last, he was leaving the truth under his own name instead of burying it in my emotions, my body, my silence.“What else?”His eyes reddened.“I wanted to ask whether you gave him a name.”“Yes.”He tightened his hold on the receiver.Waiting.I didn’t repeat it.He’d heard it before. He didn’t need me to offer it again now.That name belonged to the nights I’d woken alone, the appointments I’d attended alone, the child I’d carried.Not to him.His mouth trembled.“I’m sorry.”Once, I had wanted those
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