On The Verge Of It

Aubree's Pov

*Beep Beep Beep*

Was this an alarm clock ringing above my head? Its voice was getting louder and louder, hence making me nauseous. Oh god! I just wish someone would come and switch that thing off.

I tried to open my eyes, but my head was throbbing with the wildest pain that I have ever experienced in my life. This pain was hundred times more than the pain I experienced during the worst of hangovers. What did I do to end up like this?

*Beep Beep Beep*

I heard the noise again; this sound was making me sick. Was this another hangover? If it was, I would never drink again, because it was hurting in every joint of my body. I was trying to open my eyes, but it felt as if my entire body was bound with chains and was being controlled by some external force. I could not move my hands or my feet.

I wondered why I was feeling such a pain in my entire body. I did not even remember why I was feeling this way. I mean, I did not drink last night? Right?

After trying very hard, I managed to open my eyes and I was surprised when I saw light filling the entire room.

Most certainly, it was not my room. The room where I lived had its walls covered with posters of things that I desired to own as an aspiring designer. Whether it was the poster of a coffee cup placed next to a pink blanket, a red leather book kept in the middle of a pile of coffee coloured paper with beautiful calligraphy engraved on its pages or the pictures of the various inspired houses that I had pinned on my mocha coloured walls, my mornings could not be complete without me passionately gazing at the wonders that inspired me to choose my career path as an interior designer. With the constant smell of wooden engravings of my windows, one could totally picture living in an 18th century novel as they entered my room.

But, the view in front of me was not what I expected to see when I opened my eyes. Instead of the smell of coffee, I could smell insulin in the air.

It was the smell that hit me first. It was a sterile, antiseptic and very distinctive medical smell, a smell with an underlying metallic reek of blood beneath it. Disturbing as this was, I wasn’t necessarily shocked. It was a hospital, after all. Just like schools had a tendency to smell like chalk dust and sweat and cafeteria mystery meat, just like auto shops stank of gasoline and rust, hospitals had an odour reflecting their whole purpose, and it was sort of redundant to try and hide it

I saw pale white walls, green curtains and the room was full of bright white light. It was a small room, and the next thing that I saw scared the hell out of me.

My hands were bandaged and small tubes were attached to a machine which was making a beeping sound. A breathing extension was attached to my nose and it was then I realised why my head was throbbing like a vibrator was attached to it.

I tried to move, but it felt as if my body wasn't ready to obey the commands I wanted it to. I wondered what would have happened that I woke up here, in such a situation. And did my parents know about it? Well, the last thing that I remember was that I was at my university. But then how come I was hospitalised?

Then suddenly, the door at the corner of the room opened and a petit nurse, wearing a light green dress entered the room. She was a short woman, with dark brown hair, and tanned skin. She had come in with a rather big scowl on her face, as if she had been in a fight with someone.

As soon as she looked at me, her lips quivered and she looked at me with excitement and instantly her lips formed into a big smile. And just by looking at her face, my lips trembled and tried to smile back at her, she was so hypnotic.

"Oh my God! I'm so glad you have woken up." She said in her sweet voice with excitement.

I tried to speak, but I was too weak to even pronounce a syllable. I felt as if I had forgotten how to speak.

"Shh.. don't worry. You are going to be alright. Do not stress yourself and don't exert your muscles." The sweet nurse said and I signalled her that I understood what she meant.

"I will just call up the doctor, stay still and do not worry. I'll be back soon." She said and put her bag beside me, while she sprinted away as if she was way too excited to see me.

Waiting for the nurse to come back was very tiring, she was taking a lot of time, and evey passing second I was getting more anxious. I could not help but think about how I landed up in this state. What would have I done? Did I fall off a building? Did I run into a car? Did I drink so much that I landed up here?

Whatever mischief I did, I was sure that my parents would be pretty mad at me, the hospital people would have definitely called them up. The last thing I wanted right now was scolding. I could literally not take it. I was way too weak to even speak.

Just then, a fat, grey haired doctor entered the room and looked at me with astonishment.

Then he smiled at me.

"Let us perform some tests and then we can judge if she is better." He told the sweet nurse I saw earlier.

An hour later, after way too many tests had been performed on me, I found my strength coming back. Though I was not able to speak yet, but I was able to move my hands and feet.

"I have called up your family; they have been waiting to meet you since a long time. They never left the hospital, not even for a second. But I think you need some rest before you meet them." The doctor explained to me.

Then the next thing I know is that I felt a pin pricking my arm, while I drowned in deep slumber. No longer being able to hear the beeping of the monitor, this made me feel a lot better.

When I woke up the next time, I found myself in a bigger room, with brighter walls and the best part was that I felt far better, as if I had regained half of my strength back again.

I saw the same nurse sitting next to me.

"How do you feel Aubree?" She asked me and gently stroked my hair.

The mere touch of her hand made me feel so good. She was definitely a darling.

"M..mom." I whispered, my voice coming out of my mouth just as a moan. But trust me, I was so proud that I managed to utter a word.

"Your mom? Well, I was informed that she is on her way to the hospital, but the rest of your family is sitting out there in the ward." She said carefully, while noting something on her notepad.

What she said was still a mystery to me. What did she mean by the rest of my family? My family consisted of my mom and dad only. Then if my mom wasn't here who was?

"Dad?" I asked her.

"No darling, he is coming along with your mom." She said and I looked at her with my eyes full of confusion.

Just at that moment, as if she realised something, she called the doctor immediately and began to talk to him in some scientific terms that I could not understand. Her bright happy face turned back into a deep scowl and it was then that I realised that I was in a big problem.

The doctor came and sat next to me.

"Uni...versity, assignments, there is, nothing clear." I tried to say, and yes I admit I was happy with my progress of speaking a complete sentence after such a long time.

"Well, I guess you were right Mia." The doctor said, and for the first time, I saw fear on his face.

"What happened to me?" I managed to ask him.

"You have been in a coma since the past two months and now your memory has been washed away." He told me with as caution as possible, as if he were telling a child that they could no longer have a lollipop. But this wasn't a small thing, children can live without sweets, but the hell, I had been in a coma and I had no idea how and what happened with me that landed me in this position.

I had been in a coma? My memory had gone?

"What?" I muttered.

"It is the year 2021. And your husband is waiting for you in the ward outside." He said and the floor literally slipped out of my feet.

I was not in the university, I was not a nineteen year old, I was twenty nine, that is my memory of the past ten years had faded away. And as the cherry on the cake, I was married. I had a husband! What the hell just happened?

Facing memory loss with aging is a normal thing. We all have a character like that in our lives who forgets things, people’s names or misplaces the car keys and so on. But facing memory loss and just waking up from a coma and realizing you have no idea about the past ten years of your life? Well that's another story.

This information was too much to be taken into account. After all, I had just woken up from a coma.

This is an important lesson to remember when you're having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won't feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel really fucking evil. And you can't be birthed again until you've died.

It was like a storm. And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.