Can Personal Experiences Shape Why I Have Never Been In A Relationship?

My best friend’s father pinned me against the door and fucked me raw while his daughter stood two feet away on the other side and I came so hard I almost screamed his name. I know I shouldn’t want him. Chandler Callahan is twice my age, filthy rich, and completely off-limits. He’s the man who destroyed his own family, the man I should hate… but the second he growls “Who's Daddy's good girl?” my pussy gets soaked like it was made for him. He doesn’t just fuck me. He owns me. I used to be dry. Broken. Humiliated by every guy who tried. Now I’m dripping, desperate, and addicted to the one man who can actually make me wet. But secrets this filthy don’t stay hidden forever. And when the truth comes out, it’s going to ruin us both. So tell me… Is it my fault I have daddy issues… …or is it his for turning me into his perfect little slut?

The seventh time Claire Fisher bailed on our marriage license appointment, I finally cut her out of my life—for good. From then on, if she was at a party, I wasn't. When she was scheduled to perform at our college's anniversary celebration, I made sure to leave early. The moment my company announced a collaboration with hers, I resigned without a second thought. Even on Christmas Eve, when she showed up at my parents' house with gifts, I slipped out with a half-hearted excuse about "visiting a friend." I blocked her number. Deleted her from my contacts. Burned every bridge and salted the earth behind me. No calls. No texts. No social media. I didn't reach out. She couldn't reach me. Simple as that. For the better part of my life, I was hopelessly in love with her—waiting on her, caring for her, putting her first in every way that mattered. I gave her all of me without ever holding back. But after the seventh time she left me sitting alone at the City Hall, something inside me broke. I was done. If that meant spending the rest of my life alone, so be it. Better that than sitting in an empty apartment, listening to the silence, holding on to hope for someone who never planned to show up.

When I finally mustered the courage to confess my feelings to him, he just turned and walked away. When I finally emerged from the shadows and began a new chapter in my life, he was gone. Was it depression? I couldn’t believe it. I had to find out the truth about how he died.

My name is Emma. At 31, I am doing well for myself. I’ve got a great job. Or at least a well paid job, my boss loves me, and my girlfriends think I’m great. More important than anyone's opinion is that of my housemate, and best friend in the world, Scott. Scott thinks the world of me and always tells me to be myself. So why do I feel the need to lie outrageously on dates? From rock-climbing to Muay Thai: when it comes to prospective boyfriends, I am compelled to embellish my C.V. with unlikely porkies that alwaysbackfire - with hilarious results. I have Craig to blame for that - he really shattered my sense of self-confidence and self-worth. But then I turn the spotlight on Scott, and he wishes he'd never brought it up. With a penchant for checked shirts and Harry Potter-style specs, I decide he needs a makeover and to experience the abysmal dating world. My friendship with Scott began in the most unconventional way. His past life had made him homeless and isolated, but he saved me. And now we are inseparable. My dating disasters began when my relationship with he-who-must-not-be-named ended. Waking up with a pounding head, a dry mouth, aching limbs and a random arm draped over my waist, I struggle to get up and then stumble to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and stare at the hungover, half dead panda eyed loser staring back at me. What started out as a lighthearted challenge with Scott, became something more. We were prepared. But nothing could prepare us for the surprise results! Before long, I realise that our lives will never be the same again.

When the SAT scores were released, the highest-scoring student in the state, Eva Long, had earned a 1590. During an interview with a local news station, a reporter asked her how she had done it. Eva's lips curved into a knowing smile. "My secret? My sister and her ex. They're both brilliant, and they have enough romantic drama between them to fill an entire TV series. They've been academic rivals since high school, always competing for the top grades. Even after they broke up, they still argued over who got to tutor me. Honestly, I owe my score to both of them." Once the interview aired, people immediately started digging into Bethany Long and Charles Hicks. They were both attractive, brilliant, and apparently perfect for each other. Before long, the internet was obsessed with them. Strangers were begging them to get back together. I was Charles's actual girlfriend. And all I could do was watch everyone celebrate his supposed love story with someone else. On my birthday, Charles and Bethany got so caught up arguing over a practice question that neither of them noticed I was still on the phone. I sat there listening while the candles burned down and the frosting on my cake began to melt. When Bethany needed a new SAT study plan, they shut themselves inside a hotel suite for three days to work on it. That same weekend, I underwent emergency appendix surgery alone and eventually passed out from the pain. On the day I was supposed to try on wedding dresses, Charles abandoned me again. "I promised Eva that Beth and I would take her on a trip after the SAT," he said. "She's still young, so try to be understanding." This time, I had no intention of arguing. I ended the call, took off the wedding dress, and told the consultant I wouldn't be needing it after all. Then I canceled the wedding. I had been doing everything alone for years, anyway. There was nothing wrong with finally admitting I was on my own.

In the chaos and quiet of her 30s, a woman reflects on the loves that shaped her, the heartbreaks that undid her, and the tender spaces in between. Through fleeting romances, almost-loves, and the weight of expectations—family’s, society’s, and her own—she navigates a world where connection is currency, vulnerability is rebellion, and self-discovery never comes easy. Told with wit, warmth, and raw honesty, this novel is a journey through modern love: messy, magical, and sometimes maddening. It's about the people who entered her life, the ones who left, and the version of herself she’s still becoming.