Can I Read 'If I Knew Then What I Know Now ... So What?' Online For Free?

After the SAT, I come across a post online. Someone posts, "If you could make a choice all over again, which major would you choose this time?" The comments are filled with people wishing they had chosen a different major. They all have their own regrets. One response stands out from the rest. "I would choose literature. That way, he and I wouldn't have missed out on the four years we should have spent together because of that unwanted baggage." I chuckle and am about to scroll past when I suddenly notice the profile picture and username. They are identical to those of my childhood sweetheart, Winter Andersen. I click into the profile. Everything matches her current account exactly, except that the age is ten years older. My heart sinks to my stomach. This has to be her ten years in the future. No wonder I am the only one celebrating when we are admitted to the same major. No wonder she zones out for so long after seeing my best friend, Simon Brown, receive his acceptance letter from the literature department. It turns out I am the unwanted baggage responsible for so many of her regrets and disappointments. Since that is the case, I quietly press "Accept" on the admission offer written entirely in a foreign language. I shall end this mistake ten years ahead of schedule.

Rain Stanton thought she was mentally prepared, but she couldn’t stop her trembling hands. She took the envelope and opened it. Sitting quietly in the envelope was a Divorce Agreement. Rain felt as if her heart was cut by a blunt knife and asked, “What have I done wrong, Payton? Please give our marriage a chance.” Her husband, Payton Phillips, looked at her coldly and replied, “I have never loved you, Rain. The gentleness and tenderness I gave you were not meant for you. When I was in bed with you, I had Zara in my mind. You are nothing but a substitute. I give you five days to sign the divorce agreement.” Rain was not aware that Payton had a first love, if life had a rewind button….

I signed the divorce papers on a Tuesday. No tears. No phone calls. No begging. I just picked up the pen, signed my name, and let Dominic Hartley go. For four years, I tried to be everything a good wife should be. I put my career on hold. I pushed my dreams aside. I made myself smaller so he could feel bigger. And somehow, it still wasn’t enough. He looked through me like I wasn’t really there. I loved him quietly while he built his empire, not realizing he was slowly tearing mine down. When he filed for divorce, I think he expected me to fall apart. I didn’t. I started over. A new apartment. A new job. A version of myself I hadn’t seen in a long time. And for the first time in years, I felt like me again. While he stayed in his perfect penthouse, surrounded by everything money could buy and nothing that felt real, I was finally learning how to be happy. That’s when he noticed me. Of course. Too late. Now Dominic Hartley, the man who never had to chase anything, is chasing me. Calling. Showing up. Saying all the things I used to beg to hear. But I’m not that woman anymore. And I’ve learned what he hasn’t. Love isn’t enough to go back to something that broke you. He wants another chance. I just don’t know if he’s really changed… or if I’m the one thing he can’t get back.

My parents have always been biased against me, even as a child. They leave me in the countryside while raising my brother themselves. When I'm finally brought to live with them, they neglect me because they don't want my brother to be upset. When my brother says that I'm rude and falsely accuses me of getting people to assault him, my parents believe him without a shadow of doubt. And so, I'm sent to a residential treatment center. Under my parents' tacit permission and my brother's persuasion, the teachers at the center "educate" me inhumanely. In the end, I learn my lesson, as everyone wishes. I die while learning it, too.

After her first love died, Sophia Hayes hated me for ten years. I tried to win back her favor every day, but she only responded with cold sneers. "If you really want to make me happy, why don't you just die?" Her words were like daggers to my heart. It was a shock when she died in a pool of blood while trying to save me from an oncoming truck. With her final gaze fixed on me, she whispered, "If only I had never met you." Her mother was inconsolable with grief at the funeral. "I should have let Sophia be with Ethan Brooks. I never should have forced her to marry you!" Her father also looked at me with hatred in his eyes. "Sophia saved your life three times. She was such a wonderful person. Why couldn't it have been you who died instead?" Everyone regretted that Sophia had married me—myself included. I was driven away from the funeral, completely devastated. Three years later, I traveled back to the past after a time machine was invented. This time, I chose to sever all connections with Sophia, giving everyone the version of history they truly desired.

On the last day before my study-abroad application closed, I was about to give up my full scholarship offer. Then, out of nowhere, I got a call from my future self. "Don't give it up. Click confirm enrollment. Right now." "Harley locked in his own graduate placement three months ago. The only reason he wants you to stay is that Katy needs you to finish her senior thesis for her, and he needs your money every month to live on. "Two weeks after you turn down that offer, the two of them go public with their relationship. "That so-called best friend of yours, Katy? She already betrayed you. She's been sleeping with him." I froze, my finger hovering over the mouse. The voice kept going, speaking faster and faster. "Listen carefully. Once you confirm the offer, take the twenty thousand dollars left in your account and put every cent into the Eklund Growth Fund. It goes public next March. It'll grow eightfold within the year. "Once you're abroad, apply to your advisor's AI lab before your first semester ends. That project gets acquired by Coogle two years from now, and as a core team member, you'll get a share of the payout. "Twenty-two-year-old me, I'm begging you. Stop wasting yourself on people who don't deserve it." The voice cut off. I took a deep breath and moved the cursor to "Confirm Enrollment." The instant I clicked, my mind was made up. I wasn't going to bury my own future for anyone who wasn't worth it.