Where Can I Read 'To This Day' By Shane Koyczan?

Right after the SAT results dropped, the admissions representatives from Blackridge University practically fought over me so fiercely it felt like they'd set the whole room on fire. They made an outrageous offer just to win me over, claiming that I could bring one friend along with full admission. As the clock reset, I chose no one this time around because I'd already lived through it once. In my last life, I didn't hesitate to pick my childhood best friend, Shawn Hooper. I gave him a ticket into a world he could never hope to reach without my help. And what did I get for it? A look of pure disgust. "You're pathetic," he sneered. "It's laughable that you'd dare use something like this to drive a wedge between Madison and me." Madison Cole was our class president. She was the golden girl and everyone's favorite girl. She couldn't handle losing both the guy she loved and the future she thought was hers. So, she jumped from the roof of a building. Shawn found her final message and lost his mind. He told me the class was having one last bonfire party just outside town. It was a lie. He took me there to torture me before leaving me to die. Our entire class covered for him. Every last one of them told the police I'd slipped near the ravine and fallen by accident. … A week after my death, my parents died in a supposed highway pileup. My soul never moved on, and that was how I discovered the truth—Shawn had orchestrated everything. When I reopened my eyes, I quickly realized I was back on the day when Blackridge University fought to recruit me. I wouldn't choose anyone this time. No, the only one I would choose was myself.

At Evermont High, Aria Valdez is the girl no one notices—the quiet shadow in crowded hallways, the name no one bothers to remember. But everyone knows Zachary Knight. Feared, admired, and impossible to ignore, Zachary rules the school with reckless charm and a cruel reputation. A notorious heartbreaker and relentless bully, he thrives on power and attention. So when he sets his eyes on Aria, it starts as nothing more than a game. A cruel bet. A harmless target. A girl too invisible to fight back. But fate has a twisted sense of humor. The more Zachary tries to break her, the more he finds himself drawn to her quiet strength. The girl he planned to humiliate becomes the one person who sees through his arrogance… and reaches the fragile heart he never lets anyone touch. What begins as a joke slowly turns into something dangerously real. Love. But just when Aria finally lets herself believe in their impossible story, the truth shatters everything. Zachary's time is running out. And the boy she fell in love with only has 100 days left to live. One hundred days to laugh. One hundred days to love. One hundred days before goodbye. In a race against time and fate, they must face the most heartbreaking question of all— Can a love that started as a lie survive when time itself is the enemy?

Kim has spent most of her life on the edges—quiet, guarded, invisible. At nineteen, she’s only just beginning to learn what it means to be seen, to want, to belong. Erik was never meant to be more than a safe place, a steady presence in a world that once hurt her too deeply. He’s older, scarred by a past he doesn’t talk about, and painfully aware that loving her might mean holding her back. What begins as comfort turns into something dangerous: a love built in stolen mornings, unsaid fears, and promises neither of them knows how to keep. When Luca enters the picture—warm, easy, and part of the life Kim has never lived—everything Erik fears starts to feel inevitable. A single party. One careless moment. One kiss seen by the wrong eyes. Now Kim is torn between the man she comes home to and the future she’s only just daring to imagine, while Erik must decide whether love means fighting for her… or letting her go.

Mom said I needed to toughen up, so she made me walk home alone. "You're ten. Everyone else can do it. Why can't you? If you were even half as capable as your cousin, I wouldn't have to worry so much." I shook my head and signed, [I can't hear. Crossing streets isn't safe.] She gave me that look. Total disappointment. Then she walked off with my cousin, Sadie. What Mom didn't know was that before school let out, Sadie had stopped me. Said she was helping Mom make me independent. Then she snatched my hearing aid. Now the whole world was silent. I followed the crowd down the sidewalk. At a small intersection, a car spun out, horn blaring. Everyone scattered. Everyone but me. I couldn't hear it. My spirit rose above the street. Below, my body lay in a pool of blood. Mom... Sorry. I couldn't do this independence thing.

I tried to die a hundred times to make him notice me. For two years, I was Shawn Scott’s wife in name only—an unwanted bride bound by a scandal, left to live in the shadow of another woman. My parents only saw my faults. My husband only saw my mistakes. As for me? I saw no way out. Every time I tried to end it, I’d wake up again, bruised and humiliated. I was greeted not with concern, but accusations such as "Why are you so selfish, Zoe Jennings?" or "Why can’t you be more like your sister Yvonne?" It wasn’t until my hundredth suicide attempt that I finally understood: I was the only one fighting for a love that never existed. So, I stopped. I walked away. I disappeared. I gave them what they wanted—my absence. However, when I left, the man who never looked at me twice started chasing the ghost of the woman he thought he knew. By the time he realized what he truly lost, I was already learning how to live again.

I had promised my son that when he turned three, the three of us would go to the amusement park together as a family. But he never lived to see that birthday. My husband, Daniel Shaw, who was a perfect match for the bone marrow transplant, disappeared just before the surgery—phone off, leaving no trace. Without him, our son lost his last chance at survival. When Daniel finally came home, he asked, "Where's our son? Weren't we supposed to take him to the amusement park for his birthday?" Then his eyes fell on the urn. That was the moment he truly lost his mind.