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Baloney Book
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My diary of dirty secrets
Blurb:
Trigger Warnings: This novel has explicit gay sex, lesbian sex, BDSM using whips, chains, and domination, trans characters fucking, and fucking with paranormal creatures such as vampires blowing and werewolves knotting in asses.
This is a collection of dirty sex tales. Cocks harden and pussies get wet. Tops pin bottoms and fuck them hard. Mistresses in leather whip bodies with whips until they beg to cum. Gay dudes lick asses in the locker room. Lesbians play with pussies against each other and use strap-ons until they come. Trans people use toys and tongues on all their holes. No limits—straight-up smut to make you hot.
Author's Note: For those who can't jerk off to porno but need books to imagine the sex scenes in order properly—use these stories for your dirtiest thinking. Not for those under 18.
9.8
30
ChaptersTo Love A Bologna
[UNDERGOING HEAVY REVISION] Go ahead and check out my other complete and ongoing books. I personally recommend Contracted for the Alpha and Marked by Moonlight. You can thank me later. 😉
"Are you nervous, Miss Bologna?"
What the fuck? Did he just read me?
I shifted slightly in my seat. "Detective Gunner, you seem to think you know me. But let me assure you, you don't."
He shook his head, an inky black curl moving down his forehead. "I might not know you, Miss Bologna, but all one point two million followers don't know you either." A cocky grin crossed his face, drawing my attention to those damn dimples again.
I uncrossed my legs and then crossed them again. "It's a necessary precaution."
He held his arms up and shrugged. "And I get that. Being the daughter of the wealthy, powerful, notorious Wall Street guru, Dante Bologna has its downsides, I suppose."
I glowered at him from underneath my lashes. "Tell me what you want, Detective Gunner."
He tucked his phone back into his pants pocket. "I want you to tell me what the fuck is happening in this city."
* * *
To Love A Bologna is a four-volume series about the trials, temptations, and heart-burning romance of the Bologna family.
| This first volume is focused on Nessa, the last and only daughter of the renowned mafia lord, Dante Bologna, and her love interest, Detective James Gunner who is on a quest to catch and destroy the Bologna family. When detective Gunner discovers the truth about the Bolognas, will he be able to go through with his plans? Or will his stolen heart make the choice for him?
10
89
ChaptersDon’t Mess With a Falcone
In my last life, my boyfriend’s adoptive sister, Lexi, asked to borrow my jacket at a class party.
I lent it to her. The next day, she bullied another girl and pushed her off a rooftop to her death.
The security cameras didn't catch her face, but the limited-edition custom jacket she was wearing—my jacket—made me the prime suspect.
I tried to explain, but Lexi just threw herself into my boyfriend Preston’s arms, looking utterly wronged.
"Vanessa, I know you're upset that Preston pays more attention to me, but you can't just frame me like this."
Then Preston pulled out a video. The person pushing the girl off the roof and running away in a panic… it was my face, clear as day.
"Vanessa," he said, his voice laced with disgust. "You're a monster."
Consumed by grief, the victim's family pushed me out of a window to my death.
When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day Lexi asked to borrow my jacket.
This time, I wasn't just going to say no. I was going to send Preston and Lexi straight to hell.
What they didn't know was that I am the only daughter of the Falcone family, the most powerful mafia in New York.
0
8
ChaptersA Fool's College Admission
I’ve always taken people literally.
When Dad told me to empty the basin, I asked where he wanted me to pour the water.
“On my head,” he snapped.
So I did.
When Mom told me to do the laundry, I asked whether I should add detergent.
She gave a cold laugh.
“Sure. Add caramel sauce.”
So I poured an entire bottle of caramel sauce into the washing machine.
Everyone said I was stupid.
But this “stupid” guy took first place in a nationwide academic competition.
I earned my school’s only direct-admission spot at one of the country’s top universities.
The day the results were announced, Lucas Hale, the school bully, ripped my application apart in front of the entire class.
“You can’t even understand sarcasm. Why should someone like you get direct admission?
“Last night, I saw you get out of a luxury SUV. Who knows what kind of deal you made with the woman inside?”
The whole classroom went quiet.
Then everyone started looking at me differently.
Lucas stood there with a self-righteous expression.
“I’m just speaking up for the rest of the class. Why should we work ourselves to death only to lose out to someone who got in through connections?”
I thought about it seriously.
Then I took out my phone and called my older sister.
“Claire, they said I got my admission spot by sleeping with someone. Is that true?”
A few seconds later, I held the phone out to Lucas, whose face had gone pale.
“My sister wants to know something.”
“What’s your name?”
“And your student ID number?”
0
10
ChaptersBully: Not A Scumbag
Monica stared at the beautiful girl in front of him, and he couldn't look away. Her waist might be the narrowest waist that he had ever seen, and he was wondering how it felt to hug that waist. Finally, he made up his mind and decided to say hello to her, but suddenly...
[Target has been found!]
"Huh?"
[Welcome to Scumbag System!]
[The more woman you have, the more rewards you will receive!]
[As a starting gift, you have received "Japanese Food Cooking Mastery"!]
[As the first target has been found, you also receive 500 million yen on your back account!]
[The journey has only been started!]
[Work hard, young man!]
"???????"
Monica frowned and said, "I refuse!" without hesitation, but after a while...
"I refuse!... I really refuse!... I really try hard to refuse!... Sorry, I can't refuse it...."
Monica tried really hard, but he couldn't...
0
75
ChaptersThe Billionaire Bastards and their Innocent Obsession
Smut Alert: This book contains steamy, explicit scenes, filthy rich men, and one heroine caught between them all. Proceed if you like it hot.
He was the golden boy who broke her, denied her, and humiliated her, and she left for LA, carrying the one secret that could ruin him.
Now she’s back in NewYork, hotter, richer, and ready to make him pay. But she never planned on his brothers. One wants to protect her, one wants to corrupt her, and one wants to own her. They’re dangerous, filthy rich, and completely off-limits… but when all three set their sights on her, revenge turns into something else.
And the closer she gets to destroying them, the more she wants to let them pin her to the wall and fuck her senseless.
0
22
ChaptersQuestions About Baloney Book
What is the Baloney Book about?
3 Answers2026-03-31 01:04:31
I stumbled upon 'The Baloney Book' while browsing through a quirky little bookstore downtown, and it immediately caught my eye because of its absurd title. Turns out, it's a satirical take on corporate jargon and how people use meaningless phrases to sound important. The author, who’s clearly fed up with office culture, breaks down common buzzwords like 'synergy' and 'leverage' with hilarious, over-the-top explanations. It’s like 'Dilbert' meets 'The Office' in book form.
What makes it even funnier is how relatable it feels. I’ve sat through enough meetings where someone says 'let’s circle back' or 'think outside the box' to know this book isn’t exaggerating much. It’s a lighthearted roast of workplace absurdity, perfect for anyone who’s ever rolled their eyes during a PowerPoint presentation. The illustrations are a nice touch too—cartoonish but sharp, like a visual punchline to every joke.
What makes it even funnier is how relatable it feels. I’ve sat through enough meetings where someone says 'let’s circle back' or 'think outside the box' to know this book isn’t exaggerating much. It’s a lighthearted roast of workplace absurdity, perfect for anyone who’s ever rolled their eyes during a PowerPoint presentation. The illustrations are a nice touch too—cartoonish but sharp, like a visual punchline to every joke.
Who is the author of the Baloney Book?
3 Answers2026-03-31 11:27:40
The 'Baloney Book' is a bit of a mystery in literary circles! I stumbled upon it while digging through obscure titles in a secondhand bookstore years ago. From what I gathered, it's a quirky, self-published work with no clear author attribution—just a pseudonym, 'Professor Nonsense,' scrawled on the inside cover. The content is a hilarious mishmash of absurdist poetry and satirical essays, almost like a precursor to modern meme culture. Some online forums speculate it was written by a collective of underground artists in the 1970s, but no one’s ever confirmed it. Part of its charm is how enigmatic it remains; half the fun is imagining who might’ve penned such gloriously weird material.
I’ve loaned my copy to friends just to watch their reactions. One theory I love is that it’s actually the work of a famous author testing ideas incognito—maybe Vonnegut or even Thompson? The book’s sheer unpredictability makes it feel like an inside joke you’re desperate to decode. If you ever find a copy, treasure it; these gems disappear faster than you’d think.
I’ve loaned my copy to friends just to watch their reactions. One theory I love is that it’s actually the work of a famous author testing ideas incognito—maybe Vonnegut or even Thompson? The book’s sheer unpredictability makes it feel like an inside joke you’re desperate to decode. If you ever find a copy, treasure it; these gems disappear faster than you’d think.
Where can I buy the Baloney Book?
3 Answers2026-03-31 05:57:20
The 'Baloney Book' has been popping up in conversations lately, and I totally get why—it’s quirky, fun, and hard to find! If you’re hunting for a copy, your best bet is checking indie bookstores or niche online shops that specialize in offbeat titles. I stumbled upon it once at a small bookstore in Portland, tucked between a zine about alien conspiracies and a cookbook for cats. Online, places like Book Depository or AbeBooks sometimes have rare copies, but prices can swing wildly depending on demand.
For digital lovers, it might be worth digging through platforms like Scribd or even Archive.org—sometimes obscure gems hide there. And don’t forget to ask around in fan forums or subreddits; fellow collectors often trade tips on where to snag weird little books like this. Honestly, half the fun is the hunt!
For digital lovers, it might be worth digging through platforms like Scribd or even Archive.org—sometimes obscure gems hide there. And don’t forget to ask around in fan forums or subreddits; fellow collectors often trade tips on where to snag weird little books like this. Honestly, half the fun is the hunt!
Is the Baloney Book based on a true story?
3 Answers2026-03-31 09:04:54
I stumbled upon 'The Baloney Book' during a random bookstore crawl, and the title alone made me burst out laughing. At first glance, I assumed it was some satirical take on corporate culture or maybe a kids' book about absurdity. But after flipping through it, I realized it's actually a cleverly disguised memoir! The author uses exaggerated, almost cartoonish scenarios to recount real-life experiences—like getting lost in a foreign city because they mispronounced 'bakery' as 'baloney.' The humor makes the truths hit harder. It reminds me of David Sedaris' work, where the line between fact and fiction blurs into something way more entertaining than plain nonfiction.
Honestly, I love when writers play with form like this. The book doesn't scream 'based on a true story,' but once you read the acknowledgments and spot the tiny real-world references (like a photo of the actual deli that inspired the 'Great Baloney Heist' chapter), it clicks. It's like an inside joke between the author and readers who bother to dig deeper. Makes me wonder how many other 'fiction' books out there are just truths wearing silly hats.
Honestly, I love when writers play with form like this. The book doesn't scream 'based on a true story,' but once you read the acknowledgments and spot the tiny real-world references (like a photo of the actual deli that inspired the 'Great Baloney Heist' chapter), it clicks. It's like an inside joke between the author and readers who bother to dig deeper. Makes me wonder how many other 'fiction' books out there are just truths wearing silly hats.
Are there any sequels to the Baloney Book?
3 Answers2026-03-31 07:53:19
The 'Baloney Book' is one of those quirky titles that sticks in your memory—like that odd snack you can't decide if you love or hate. I haven't stumbled across any official sequels, but there's a whole subculture of indie zines and self-published works that play with similar absurdist humor. Some creators even riff on its style, like 'The Salami Papers' or 'Spam Chronicles,' which feel like spiritual cousins.
Honestly, the charm of the original might be hard to replicate. It’s like trying to catch lightning in a jar—you either get something fresh or a pale imitation. I’d love to see a follow-up, but for now, digging into niche comedy anthologies scratches the same itch for me.
Honestly, the charm of the original might be hard to replicate. It’s like trying to catch lightning in a jar—you either get something fresh or a pale imitation. I’d love to see a follow-up, but for now, digging into niche comedy anthologies scratches the same itch for me.
What is the book Meaty about?
3 Answers2026-01-20 18:47:45
Samantha Irby's 'Meaty' is like biting into a brutally honest, hilariously raw memoir that doesn’t shy away from the messy parts of life. It’s a collection of essays where she tackles everything from chronic illness to dating disasters with a voice that’s equal parts self-deprecating and unapologetically bold. I love how she turns her struggles—like Crohn’s disease or awkward sexual encounters—into something you can’t help but laugh at, even if you’re cringing. Her humor feels like a friend venting over cheap wine, but with sharper punchlines.
What really sticks with me is how Irby balances vulnerability with wit. One minute she’s describing the horrors of public bathrooms, and the next she’s riffing on pop culture with references that hit like inside jokes. It’s not just comedy, though; there’s a layer of resilience underneath. She writes about poverty, body image, and grief in ways that make you nod along, like, 'Yep, life’s a dumpster fire, but at least we’re burning together.' The book’s title perfectly captures its essence: meaty, substantial, and leaving you oddly satisfied.
What really sticks with me is how Irby balances vulnerability with wit. One minute she’s describing the horrors of public bathrooms, and the next she’s riffing on pop culture with references that hit like inside jokes. It’s not just comedy, though; there’s a layer of resilience underneath. She writes about poverty, body image, and grief in ways that make you nod along, like, 'Yep, life’s a dumpster fire, but at least we’re burning together.' The book’s title perfectly captures its essence: meaty, substantial, and leaving you oddly satisfied.
Can I buy Meaty book on Amazon?
3 Answers2026-01-20 12:05:42
Oh, this takes me back! I first stumbled upon 'Meaty' while browsing through indie bookstores online, and it left quite an impression. Samantha Irby’s raw, hilarious essays felt like chatting with a brutally honest friend. As for buying it on Amazon—yes, absolutely! I just checked, and both the paperback and Kindle versions are available. Sometimes, though, I prefer shopping at smaller retailers like Bookshop.org to support local stores, but Amazon’s convenience is hard to beat, especially if you’re craving that next-day delivery.
One thing I love about 'Meaty' is how it balances humor with vulnerability. Irby’s writing about body image, relationships, and pop culture resonates so deeply. If you’re into essay collections like David Sedaris’ work or 'Shrill' by Lindy West, this’ll be right up your alley. The Kindle version often goes on sale, so keep an eye out—I snagged mine for under $5 last year. Either way, it’s a gem worth owning.
One thing I love about 'Meaty' is how it balances humor with vulnerability. Irby’s writing about body image, relationships, and pop culture resonates so deeply. If you’re into essay collections like David Sedaris’ work or 'Shrill' by Lindy West, this’ll be right up your alley. The Kindle version often goes on sale, so keep an eye out—I snagged mine for under $5 last year. Either way, it’s a gem worth owning.
What is The Scam book about?
3 Answers2026-01-30 18:47:44
The Scam' by Kanan Gill is this wild, darkly comedic novel that feels like a rollercoaster through the underbelly of human greed. It follows this guy named Rivanah Bannerjee, who gets sucked into a bizarre scam after receiving a mysterious phone call. The story twists and turns, blending satire with genuine tension—like, one minute you're laughing at the absurdity of the situation, and the next, you're gripping the pages because the stakes feel terrifyingly real. Gill's writing is sharp and self-aware, almost like he's winking at you while exposing how easily people can be manipulated.
What really stuck with me was how the book plays with the idea of control. Rivanah thinks she's outsmarting the scammer, but the power dynamics keep flipping. It’s not just about money; it’s about ego, desperation, and the lengths people go to when they’re cornered. I finished it in one sitting because I needed to know how deep the rabbit hole went—and let’s just say the ending left me staring at the ceiling for a good hour.
What really stuck with me was how the book plays with the idea of control. Rivanah thinks she's outsmarting the scammer, but the power dynamics keep flipping. It’s not just about money; it’s about ego, desperation, and the lengths people go to when they’re cornered. I finished it in one sitting because I needed to know how deep the rabbit hole went—and let’s just say the ending left me staring at the ceiling for a good hour.
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