Fools

My roommate was a classic bimbo. When I went to arrange a jogging meetup, she mistyped it as a hookup and sent it straight into the group chat, then burst into tears and claimed she didn't know how to retract the message. When I went to meet my jogging buddy, she told everyone that she ran into my "hookup buddy." At the end, she even covered her mouth and giggled sweetly, saying, "I always mix words up." After a few stunts like that, my reputation was utterly ruined, and the entire class shut me out. Later, she used her "clumsiness" as an excuse to spike my milk with sleeping pills, causing me to miss a major exam. She even dropped toxic bacteria into my water cup and killed me outright. And all of it was over something that stupid: the guy she had a crush on had casually helped me carry my luggage on the first day of school. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the very first day of freshman orientation. This time, I am going to let her experience what it felt like to be ruined—and killed—by a so-called idiot.

I’ve always taken people literally. When Dad told me to empty the basin, I asked where he wanted me to pour the water. “On my head,” he snapped. So I did. When Mom told me to do the laundry, I asked whether I should add detergent. She gave a cold laugh. “Sure. Add caramel sauce.” So I poured an entire bottle of caramel sauce into the washing machine. Everyone said I was stupid. But this “stupid” guy took first place in a nationwide academic competition. I earned my school’s only direct-admission spot at one of the country’s top universities. The day the results were announced, Lucas Hale, the school bully, ripped my application apart in front of the entire class. “You can’t even understand sarcasm. Why should someone like you get direct admission? “Last night, I saw you get out of a luxury SUV. Who knows what kind of deal you made with the woman inside?” The whole classroom went quiet. Then everyone started looking at me differently. Lucas stood there with a self-righteous expression. “I’m just speaking up for the rest of the class. Why should we work ourselves to death only to lose out to someone who got in through connections?” I thought about it seriously. Then I took out my phone and called my older sister. “Claire, they said I got my admission spot by sleeping with someone. Is that true?” A few seconds later, I held the phone out to Lucas, whose face had gone pale. “My sister wants to know something.” “What’s your name?” “And your student ID number?”

On my wedding night, I joyfully lift the veil, only to discover that my bride has been replaced with the dim-witted daughter of my girlfriend's helper. The laughter surrounding me grows louder. My girlfriend's male best friend gloatingly says, "According to tradition, you must spend a night with her, Mr. Leeds! "I'll take one for the team and keep Carol company tonight instead." Just then, my girlfriend strolls in leisurely. "It's just a joke. Don't be a sore loser. Besides, she's a complete ignoramus. Spending the night with her won't hurt you." Seeing her sarcastic expression, I laugh. "Now that I've lifted the veil, how can one night be enough? Since I did it, I'll take responsibility for life."

"Do you know what marriage is?" Evelyn asked with a raised brow. "Marriage is 'I do' and 'you do', then boom, children come in anytime they want," Drake replied with a cute smile. "How do children come in?" She asked knowingly. "Man and a woman call them," he replied foolishly. "How do they call them?" She probed. "Just like this…" He placed his phone to his ear. "I already forgot that it's useless talking to you," Evelyn got annoyed and walked away *** Twenty years old Evelyn Brown was forced to marry the son of the richest man in the country, Drake Valentino. She thought her life was perfect, not until she was forced to get married to a man she barely knows because of money. Evelyn had thought the arranged marriage wasn't bad as her groom was a handsome young man from a rich family, just like hers until she entered the marriage. She was shocked into disbelief when she realized her husband wasn't as normal as she thought he was, he was a complete… Moron!

"A Prince and a Peasant sitting in a tree K I S S I N G ." - unknown. "It's all false." The Prince stared straight into his father's eyes. "I have never laid my eyes on this girl in my entire existence, father." Prince added. "Very well." The King said thoughtfully. "Young lady you have to be punished for having spread falsehood on my son's name but I do sympathize with you considering you are with child." All the people of Acamas had been watching, as this had been done in public appearance. Everyone was in stitches of laughter after the Prince had denied the allegations but even more people who knew Lucia knew that she wasn't one to lie, cheat or even lay with a man before marriage. Lucia knew right there and there that her life was doomed and above all she was a fool. fool. doomed. que sera sera.

My wife, Charlene Weber, has taken me to the Scumbag Court. If I'm found guilty, all my assets will be taken from me, and I'll face 10 years of imprisonment. Charlene, on the other hand, will get to marry her ideal man—Joel Quinlan—as she wishes. If I'm acquitted of all charges, Charlene will be made to divorce me without alimony. She'll also be cursed with bad luck and disfigured so badly she'll be the ugliest woman in the world. Conversely, I'll be given 10 million dollars in reparations and gain a lifetime's worth of good luck. Everyone is advising me to admit to my mistakes, but only because Charlene has always been a virtuous, devoted wife in their eyes. They think that there must surely be some complicated grievances between us at the moment. However, they are unaware that I've been reborn. This time, I'm going to tear off Charlene's mask of hypocrisy.