Goodbye,my Messy Life

I was born with a genetic disorder. My father left as soon as he found out, and my illness quickly drained all my mother’s savings. To afford my treatment, she moved me from one stranger’s home to another, until she chose to have a child for money. After giving birth to a baby boy and receiving twelve thousand dollars, she was about to leave, but the man asked her to stay. He promised to raise me as his own and cover my medical expenses. She agreed. They married soon after. She told me I would always be the one she loved most. To prove it, she rarely held my brother and almost never smiled at him. Until the day he accidentally swallowed my medicine. As she frantically tried to save him, she broke down and screamed at me, “Why are you still alive?” I watched them rush to the hospital. Then I went back to my room, picked up the scattered pills, and swallowed them all. Mom, I wouldn't be a burden to you anymore.

"If I knew I would lose all of it, I would have let you go from the beginning." Those were the last words Nadine said before collapsing from falling down the stairs. "If you had never been in my life, you wouldn't have lost it all." And the last thing she remembered was the cold face of her husband, who was disgusted to see her. Nadine thought it was the end of her life. And when she opened her eyes hell would await her. "Wait.. Why is it so comfortable in hell? And why is it similar to my room?" When Nadine opened her eyes she didn't feel any pain in her head and she was still wearing her nightdress. The sound of her mobile phone alarm made her startled. And what surprised her most, she found out the date on her phone. She returned three years ago. More precisely, one day before her wedding day with her husband. In disbelief, he circled her house, asking the servant what date it was. But they have the same answer. "God... Must be joking! Ha ha ha... For all day...." She laughed frantically. "If You want me to pay for my sin, choose before I've forced him to marry me." She bit her nail nervously and began to think. "I separated him from his lover once to marry me. Make an innocent man become a cheater and a despicable husband. Kill our unborn baby to get his attention. And end my life in misery. Now I have a second chance. I have to fix everything. Everything.... Maybe he and my unborn baby will forgive me and I won't die young." How can Nadine fix this mess? Can she get her husband's forgiveness? Or will she end up losing everything like before?

When Mom is pregnant with me, Dad has an affair. The happy family that my older sister, Zara Johnson, once has falls apart after my birth. From then on, my parents become a couple who splits the bills. They keep track of every penny they spend raising me in a cold and calculated manner. By the time I'm undergoing my third round of chemotherapy after being diagnosed with cancer, they've been arguing nonstop. "This good-for-nothing child was conceived in the year you cheated on me. Why should I pay half of his medical bills?" "Because you enjoyed yourself in the process too! If you don't want to pay, then let him die. But don't you dare touch the tertiary education fund I've saved for our daughter!" Frustrated and furious, my parents storm out of the house one after the other. Right then, my illness flares up. I've already run out of pain medication at that point. The pain swallows me whole and even radiates deep into my bones. Clenching my teeth, I gather every penny I've managed to save and beg Zara to buy me more painkillers. She's in a hurry to meet her friends. So, she impatiently stuffs a handful of chewy candies into my medicine bottle before tossing it back to me. "Just take these. Stop pretending you're dying and keep dragging everyone down. I'm sick of looking at you," she says irritably. I stare at the chewy candy I'm holding in my palm. In that moment, my heart shatters into tiny little pieces. Maybe the only way Mom, Dad, and Zara can ever be happy… is if I disappear.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my wife crying and begging me to let her see that young man one last time. "I’ll come right back after seeing him one last time. Please, I’m begging you." In our seven years of marriage, this was only the second time she’d spoken to me in such a pleading, ingratiating tone. The last time was when I caught the kid running out of her office, his clothes in disarray. Afraid I’d make a scene, she grabbed my hand and pleaded, "Honey, I promise I’ll cut him off. Please don’t divorce me. I’ll die without you." So, I gave her another chance. Just as she promised, she devoted herself to our family, becoming the perfect wife everyone admired. Until today. I turned on the bedside lamp, looked into her eyes, and told her seriously, "Go. Don’t leave yourself with any regrets." I had no regrets left. I hoped the same for you.

Everyone keeps telling me that I've hit the mega jackpot just because I get to marry Anson Granger, the man of every woman's dreams. I'm the only one who knows that I'm just a tool used by Anson just to shut everyone up. To the public, he's a CEO who's devoted to his wife. But in reality, he keeps taking various young starlets home with him every day right in front of me. In fact, Anson falls in love with a strict housekeeper named Winona Judd. After he takes her home, Winona begins setting up house rules for the entire family. Not only does she freeze my bank card and donate my personal belongings, but she also restricts my freedom. Even when my mom is deathly ill, Winona forbids me to leave the estate just so I can go to the hospital. It's then that I break down right in front of her helplessly. "My mom is already dying from her illness! I need to stay by her side! She needs me!" Winona continues wearing a distant yet stern expression. "Mrs. Granger, I've already informed you last week that today is a family day. You're supposed to bond with your family today, so you can't go anywhere at all." Anger and panic overwhelm me in an instant. Left without a choice, I can only ask Anson for help. The smile in his eyes fades away instantly as he tells me coldly, "Kim, I'm the one who personally hired Winnie. You can forget about remaining as my wife if you refuse to listen to her orders." This cold and heartless version of Anson is no longer the same man I've grown up with and spent my entire youth loving. In that case, I might as well relinquish my title as his wife.

My secretary replaced me on my wedding day, walking down the aisle in a white wedding gown. The man I had loved for ten years threw the bridesmaid dress in my face and ordered me to wear it instead. "She is the bride now. You'll be next," he said coldly. My grandmother was so furious that she fell ill on the spot. Meanwhile, he and the secretary smiled brightly as they completed the wedding ceremony. After the grand wedding, the secretary posted photos of herself in her wedding gown on social media. The comments were overwhelmingly congratulatory. [Today is such a beautiful day, I finally got what I wanted. I hope those who try to ruin someone else's relationship will wake up soon.] She wrote. Chester Morrison replied to her post: [It is a great day. Don't ruin your good mood by some trash.] When I returned home, holding my grandmother's photo, who had passed away, I found them tangled together on the bedspread my grandmother had lovingly sewn for me, the one with a pair of Swan that symbolizes eternal love.