He Didn't Love Me Until I Left

Five years ago, I left my husband a note. Three sentences. A returned bracelet. A door closing softly at 4am. He told me to get rid of our baby. I got rid of him instead. Now he’s sitting across my boardroom table in the city I built for myself, looking for the woman he married. She’s gone. What’s left is stronger.

At 20, I became known for two things. First, I weighed over 200 pounds, yet I still ended up dating Christian Fairmont, the coldest and most unattainable man in our circle. Second, I turned down Christian's proposal, changed my name, left the country, and became the one woman no one dared mention around him—the forbidden, unattainable love he could never let go. For the next five years, Christian shut himself away in a church and refused to see anyone. Just when everyone thought he was about to become a priest, he suddenly announced his engagement. He made such a spectacle of it that even I heard about it all the way in Goldridge. That alone showed how much he valued his bride-to-be. I booked the first flight home that same night. Everyone who saw me reacted the same way. First, they stared at how completely I had changed, how much weight I had lost, how I looked like a different person. Then they sighed. "Juliana, you came back too late." Even Christian looked at me with cold, distant eyes. "When you walked away and left me behind, did you ever think that five years later, you'd regret it?" Regret? I shook my head. "I don't regret it." I was already married and had a child.

I died in the year my husband hated me most. Unable to endure his endless silent treatment any longer, I swallowed a bottle of pills and ended my life. At the crematorium, watching the flames roar inside the furnace, he allowed himself a rare smile. “Someone as vile as her doesn’t deserve to be laid to rest whole.” So when the staff handed him the urn, he flipped it over. My ashes scattered across the floor in an instant. All this time, he had believed I was responsible for the death of his first love. That belief was why he had schemed and plotted for years, all for this precise moment of final desecration. When it was over, he stepped over my ashes and walked away without looking back. Though not long after that, he fell to his knees and begged the crematorium to give my ashes back to him.

Three months after I give birth, Nicholas Faulkner finally makes his choice between his mistress and me. He agrees to marry me. Everyone thinks I am hopelessly in love with him and would never give up the chance to secure my position as his wife with our child. But I refuse, give up my son, and leave on my own. Nicholas doesn't take it seriously and says nonchalantly to his friends, "She's just throwing a tantrum. She even poked holes in condoms just so she would end up having my child to make me marry her. How could she possibly let go so easily?" No one expects that I would be gone for five whole years. When we meet again, I am accompanying my husband to a birthday banquet for an elder. A little boy blocks my way. He hugs me and turns to shout behind him, "Dad, I found Mom! You don't have to hold Mom's photo and cry every night anymore!" My heart clenches as I look up and meet Nicholas' reddened eyes.

I married him without love. I never knew he despised me… or that I would be blamed for a tragedy I didn’t cause. In a house full of secrets and lies, can I survive a husband who sees me as his enemy and maybe, just maybe, make him love me?

On the night of our ninth wedding anniversary, my husband—Damian Grant, the man who ruled the mafia by day and once ruled my heart by night—did not bring me roses. He gave the bouquet that should have been mine to Serena Lane, his personal assistant. Beneath the chandelier where we once danced on our wedding night, he turned to me with that same cold charm he once used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. “She's pregnant.” Finally, everything fell into place. “She's a picky eater. From today onward, you’ll cook three meals a day for her. And no repeats. “She’s sensitive and hates sleeping alone, so you’ll need to move your things into the guest room.” The room fell silent. I did not raise my voice, nor did I shed a single tear. I simply picked up my packed suitcase and walked to the door. The butler tried to stop me, but Damian did not even blink. “She’ll come back.” He lazily swirled the wine in his glass. “She’ll come back crying and begging within three days.” Our guests burst out laughing. They placed a million-dollar bet right in front of me. They were betting on whether I would be back before the night was over, begging Damian to let me back in like a pathetic stray dog with my tail between my legs. However, they did not know I had already received the family heirloom from my real father. I booked my flight to get far, far away from everyone I used to know. This time, I really left.