How Long Is 500 words

I had been the biggest pushover in our circle. In the years I had worked as a wedding planner, I had dipped into my own pocket every time a friend got married to make sure she received the very best of everything. A newcomer named Sloane Halliday arrived one day. "30,000 dollars for one wedding? Laurel, that markup is outrageous." A friend tried to smooth things over. "That was already the friends-and-family rate. Venue rental alone cost that much anywhere else." Sloane rolled her eyes. "Friends-and-family rate? Give me a break. "My family ran a wedding supply chain. I knew exactly how this racket worked. "Tell you what. From now on, all of you bring your weddings to me. "I will get you the same specs, real wholesale pricing. Only 500 dollars, all in." The room erupted. "500 dollars? That saved tens of thousands. "We were giving all our weddings to Sloane from now on. "And Laurel, do not take it personally. We go way back. You really should not be pocketing the difference." Pocketing the difference? For every friend whose wedding I had planned, I had pulled every favor I had to make her the most beautiful bride in the room. The top-tier teams I brought in did not even take outside clients. Sure. That was fine with me. If 500 dollars was all it took for a complete wedding, then they were welcome to find out exactly what a 500-dollar wedding looked like.

The 100th time Dexter Carrington ditches me to help my best friend with her lab work, I write the final line in my diary and break up with him. Dexter is exasperated, to say the least. "I genuinely don't know how your amygdala is wired. Your emotions have completely bulldozed your rational thinking." My best friend, Brianna Holt, laughs. "That's cruel. You're insulting her intelligence in words she can't even understand." She's right. I don't understand. The two of them dominate the biology department rankings every year, taking first and second place, and are the kind of prodigies even their professors defer to. I'm just an ordinary student at the music school next door. When they talk about how cells have their own rhythms, the only thing I can think to ask is what time signature those rhythms are in. Dexter always hates that. "If you don't understand, don't chime in." So now I listen. I don't chime in anymore. Because the first page of this diary reads, "Today is my birthday, but Dexter chose to go over data with Brianna. "By the time this diary is full, I'm leaving him for good."

I have a severe case of logorrhea. Only speaking makes me feel alive. My classmates all call me a freak, but Marvin Britt is the only one willing to listen to me. One day, I bring some homemade soup over to see him, only to catch him holding his junior's hand. "Lexie, your voice is so lovely, unlike my wife at home. She sounds like a squawking duck. It's exhausting." My hands shake so violently that I drop the thermal flask. The commotion angers a nearby madman, who forces a bottle of boiling water down my throat. With my mouth full of blood and blisters, I realize I need proof. I send Marvin—a lawyer—a frantic voice note to accompany me to the police station for evidence. Marvin shoots back a single word—"Noted". Of course. He doesn't even listen to it, as usual. He used to reply to everything I said with voice notes at least a minute long. But we hit the seven-year itch, and he's sick of my endless talking. Leaving the hospital, I stare at my diagnosis of permanent mutism and laugh bitterly. He must be thrilled. His world is finally quiet.

My mom is an HR professional. She uses KPI to determine my entire life. "If you get into the top ten of your grade, you'll receive a B grade as well as a bonus of 500 dollars. If you can achieve a ranking at a state-level competition, you'll receive an A grade as well as a bonus of 1,000 dollars. Of course, if you can get into a top-tier university after scoring well in your SATs, I'll give you an S+ grade as well as a year-end bonus of ten thousand dollars!" I work my ass off in my studies and manage to earn the offer letter to a top-tier university. But that's when my mom puts a contract in front of me. "Congratulations on getting hired. From today onward, your allowances will be determined by the total of your base salary, KPI, as well as your full attendance award. "Your base salary is 500 dollars. It's to make sure that you won't starve to death, at the very least. In order to help you adapt to workplace stress in advance, I'll check on your progress randomly. If you don't meet my requirements, I'll deduct your salary." When I'm down with a fever of 104 degrees Fahrenheit, my mom deducts my full attendance award, claiming that my physical attributes aren't up to par. In order to catch up on my studies, I've completely forgotten to submit my weekly report to my mom. Because of that, she suspends my allowances. So, I have to sell my blood to a hospital behind her back just so I can survive. At the end of the school term, I show my mom my grades as well as the certificate to my scholarship, thinking that I'll be eligible for the highest KPI and the bonus. But that's when my mom tells me coldly, "The company has decided to give your S+ bonus to your younger brother as a form of investment. After all, he has more potential to achieve better results compared to you." As I gaze down at the 200-dollar consolation prize, I can't help but laugh. It turns out that I'm not even worthy of being recognized as a good employee in my mom's company.

The day I'm promoted, my mother gets on her knees and begs me for a monthly allowance of 500 dollars to cover her living expenses. Yet I refuse without any hesitation. Left with no choice, she gets an influencer to put me on blast. "I only need 500 dollars a month. 50 packs of plain pasta can last me two months, and I can grow some vegetables to save on groceries. "I'll even split my high blood pressure pills in half to make them last. Please. I raised you. You can't just abandon me now that I'm old!" On camera, my expression remains cold as I shoot her down. "I've got money, but I'd rather spend that money on dog food than give it to you. And that's because you don't deserve a single cent!"

"I know I don’t deserve a second chance. I know I’ve hurt you in the cruelest way. But I regret it, truly regret it. I've spent five years searching for you, hoping to atone for my mistakes. I... I still love you." My heart raced. Part of me wanted to believe him, wanted to surrender to the words I had longed for. But I couldn’t just forget how he had shattered me. "Love?" I let out a small laugh. "You’re talking about love after what you did to me? After you made me feel like nothing more than a replacement? I’ve moved past the days when I cried over you, when I questioned my self-worth just because you chose another woman. You want me back? But what if one day you find another reason to leave me?" "No!"