My Year Of Meats

This is a diary of dark, depraved thoughts. Turn the page if you dare. *** *** She’s a secret erotic artist. Behind closed doors, she sketches the same man over and over again—filthy, dangerous, and forbidden. Then she sells the drawings to the black market to pay for her mother’s medical bills and her sister’s college tuition. It should be simple. Except the man in those drawings isn’t a stranger. He’s Dominic—her father’s best friend. Every sinful stroke of her brush chips away at her innocence and poisons her love life. Every relationship she tries to build ends the same way—ruined by a man who doesn’t even know she’s obsessed with him. Until the night everything goes wrong. She wants to stop, wants a fairytale love life, but she owes her anonymous collectors one more portrait. Determined to make one final drawing of her darkest fantasy, she locks herself in her studio… only for Dominic to walk in and see the explicit portraits displayed across her walls. Her secret should destroy her. Instead, Dominic makes her a far more dangerous deal. For 365 days, she’ll work for him as his obedient secretary—and in return, he’ll keep her scandalous secret buried. But the closer she gets to the man she’s spent years drawing in the dark, the harder it becomes to remember one thing: Some fantasies should never come to life.

After the chairman announced my appointment as general manager, a barrage of floating comments suddenly appeared before my eyes. [The supporting female character slept with some old guy just to steal the female lead's big client. How shameless!] [Good thing our clever female lead already collected the evidence. Once she becomes department manager, she and the male lead can finally start their sweet life together!] [I can't wait to watch the female lead and the male lead build their empire together!] The so-called female lead, Cindy Carlton, stood there with tear-filled eyes. "Shannon, how could you steal my client?" I was so stunned by the floating comments that I didn't react right away, but she was already crying pitifully. "Even if you wanted the deal, you shouldn't have sold your body for it! If you'd talked to me properly, I would've given you the client!" The comment section popped up again. [Our female lead is way too kind!] Even my longtime boyfriend stepped forward to defend her. "Who knows how many men you have slept with over the years? This time, you have to give Cindy's deal back to her!" While everyone hurled insults at me, I helplessly pulled out photos of the thousands of cattle and sheep grazing across my family's massive ranch. "Is selling beef and lamb to clients illegal?"

On the day I vomit blood while eating on a livestream, I rise to the top in the platform streamer rankings. My older brother, Julian Everhart, bursts into my room, kicks over my streaming equipment, and violently shoves me to the floor. My fiance, Dominic Pierce, tells everyone on the livestream that I'm just trying to attract attention and rake up the views by faking my illness. In an instant, I get cyberbullied by everyone. The Internet users keep leaving malicious comments and cursing me to die. All of my photos are crossed out. Someone even dumps silver acid onto my front door. What everyone doesn't know is that I will die in three days because of Wolf Soul Deterioration. On the day I die, I start the livestream for the final time. Tens of millions of viewers rush into my stream instantly and begin cursing me out for my lack of morality. They bash me for faking my illness just to gain popularity and attract attention. But the next thing they know, my heart monitor flatlines right away. Everyone begins panicking instantly. Julian and Dominic shift into their wolf forms instantly and rush toward the hospital desperately begging me not to die.

Even though I knew cows were sacred to the Indorians, I still supported their biological daughter in her plan to serve beef at the dinner table of Indoria's wealthiest man. In my previous life, the wealthiest man in Indoria had held a nationwide contest to choose a wife. My sister had fought her way to the final round and planned to make a beef and veggie stew for the ultimate cooking challenge. I rushed to stop her, warning that in Indoria's religion, cows were considered holy, and eating beef could have serious legal consequences. However, my sister thought I was deliberately humiliating her for being "uncultured." In a fit of anger, she ran out, only to be struck and killed by a car. My adoptive parents tried to console me, telling me it was not my fault, that it was simply bad luck. Later, thanks to my exceptional cooking skills, I became the wife of Indoria's wealthiest man. Yet on the very day of my wedding, my adoptive parents sold me to the slums. That night, as eight men assaulted me one after another, I cried and demanded to know why. They kicked me viciously and spat: "If you hadn't made things difficult for Janet, she wouldn't have died. You owe her this!" By the end of that night, I had bled to death. Meanwhile, my adoptive parents used the money given by Indoria's wealthiest man to build a lavish tomb for their biological daughter. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day my sister was about to serve her beef and veggie stew to Indoria's wealthiest man.

On Christmas Day, eight months pregnant, I struggled through the kitchen,cooking for my husband and his secretary. When I finally sat down, hoping to taste a piece of turkey I didn’t even get during Thanksgiving, my husband shoved me aside like I was nothing. He slid the turkey in front of his secretary instead. “Alison,you’re already so fat. Stop eating. Let Daisy have it—she deserves to enjoy your cooking.” Daisy，chewing on the turkey I had painstakingly prepared, had the audacity to mock me under the guise of playing truth or dare with my child. “So, what do you think your mom looks like?” “Mommy looks like a fat pig on a farm!” “Her stretch marks? They’re like disgusting worms crawling all over her. Even Santa would run for his life!” Their laughter erupted like daggers piercing me from all sides. Humiliation and rage burned through me as my dignity was stripped bare. I demanded an apology from that vile woman, but my husband—my husband!—turned his cold, cruel face toward me and said, “Get out of here.” Pregnant, exhausted, and humiliated, I stood there in shock. Then I snapped. I grabbed the Christmas cake and turkey and threw them in the trash. I walked out without looking back. This wretched family doesn’t deserve a second of my effort or a single ounce of my love!

I still remembered a night from my childhood. At midnight, my grandfather took me to what became the most unforgettable feast of my life. The host was Daniel Lee, the poorest man in the town. He didn't own a single farm animal and often struggled to put food on the table. Yet when his father passed away, he laid out ten full tables piled high with roasted lamb heads. My grandfather served as the town's funeral coordinator and came to oversee the service. My grandfather glanced at the tables, unable to hide his curiosity. “Where'd you get the money for all this? And those lamb heads don’t look cheap, either." Daniel smiled. "All you need to know is that only the finest lamb heads were served tonight."