Shamier Little Husband

My husband and I take leave from work to travel to Highland. It's also an opportunity for me to return to my hometown. Unexpectedly, we get into a fight over the itinerary on our first day there. I snap at him when we're standing by the side of the road, but he calms me down. He even coaxes me and offers to pay for a nice meal at a restaurant. When I return to the hotel, I discover that he's run off with my luggage and mobile phone. He even leaves a message telling me to reflect on my mistakes. I borrow a phone to call him, but he doesn't answer. It's freezing in Highland. I'm almost about to die from the frost when I suddenly see sense. I'm not putting up with this anymore!

After a month-long business trip, I finished my work early and drove home through the night. I was eager to surprise my husband and son. However, I heard suggestive noises drifting from the master bedroom the moment I stepped inside my home. I was fuming. I stormed toward the door and was ready to catch them in the act. However, when I threw the door open, all I saw were two mini pigs on the bed. Their lower bodies were inextricably locked together. I moved closer to inspect this absurdity, but my son stopped me. “Mom, don’t go near them. I brought those pigs back. They’re covered in parasites.” I sighed in relief. I was about to laugh at my own paranoia when a glowing text suddenly flickered across my vision like a livestream comment. [That was close! Lily almost caught them. Luckily, David was smart enough to turn Sarah and himself into mini pigs!] [Toby is such a good boy. Lily won’t suspect a thing with him covering for them.] [Once David gets his hands on Lily’s million-dollar inheritance, he’ll divorce her and marry Sarah! Toby will love his new mom!] That was how I realized the pigs were my husband and his mistress. My own son was fully aware of the truth. Yet he was helping them lie to me. My anger turned into a laugh as I watched the two pigs continue their grotesque display. I pulled out my phone and called the hotel. “I have two mini pigs here. I want them spit-roasted!”

While waiting for my husband to pick me up at the parking lot, I came across a trending topic in my city. "How do I deal with an overly-clingy wife?" Amidst a flurry of boastful, lovey-dovey comments, one female username caught my attention. "Just pretend to be incompetent! My childhood friend was forced to marry someone he didn’t love. I gave him the idea to pretend to be directionally-challenged, which he has done for five years now. "When his wife got pregnant, he secretly mixed lubricant into the shower gel, causing her to slip. Then, on the way to the hospital, he pretended to get lost. He deliberately circled the suburbs several times, which led to her miscarriage and now she can't have children anymore." "Coincidentally, today is supposed to be the selection day for her promotion to professor. He offered to drive her to work, but he actually plans to pretend to get lost to make her late so that I can get promoted instead. "When she fails the selection, he’ll use that as a chance to convince her to quit her job, turn her into a useless housewife, and then kick her out!" Reading this suspiciously familiar experience sent a chill down my spine. Before I could ponder further, I heard my husband’s apologetic voice. "Sorry, honey, I got lost. I hope this won't affect your selection."

On the tenth day of my postpartum recovery, my husband, Deputy Commander Harvey Wyatt, uploads a photo of me breastfeeding my newborn in a disheveled state to the department's group chat. Obviously, that photo was taken without my knowledge. "See? After having a kid, she's as loose as a sack. It makes me sick just looking at her. I much prefer my side piece, who's nice and tight." A few female colleagues send sweating emojis to the group. The majority of the chat, however, consists of the male colleagues' perverse silence. While I continue to burp my baby with one hand, my tears land on the screen. In order to give birth to this baby, my pelvic bone was sawn in half, which causes me so much pain that I can't even walk properly. But all I get in return is my own husband body-shaming me in front of hundreds of people. I don't bother arguing with Harvey at all. Half an hour later, I drag my broken body all the way to the commander's office with a divorce agreement as well as the chat history over the past ten days, which has been printed out, in my hands.

After I married into a rich family as my older sister's stand-in, my powerful husband didn't touch me for six months. Then I overheard his friend. "You chased her ten years just to marry her, and you still won't touch her?" He looked down, smiling bitter. "I have a problem... I'm scared I'd scare her off." That night I stormed into his room and slapped the divorce papers on the nightstand. "Two choices—sleep with me or sign." He ripped the papers apart and pinned me to the wall, something wild breaking loose in his eyes. "Third choice... I make sure you can't get out of bed tomorrow."

Even though my wife, Eunice Mercer, is afflicted with touch starvation, she never gets intimate with me over the five years of our marriage. I keep enduring her antics, but all I get in return is the sight of Eunice coming home with a little boy in her arms. "It's my fault for being allergic to you. Let me use this child to make it up to you." Two years later, when I'm about to settle some official paperwork for the child, I find out that his mother is actually Eunice. To make things worse, the staff member informs me that my copy of the marriage certificate is a fake. "Did you get swindled by someone? This is obviously a marriage certificate that's sold in stalls. You can buy a huge pack of them for just two dollars, you know." I hurry over to confront Eunice, only to overhear her conversation with her friends. "Dylan is finally coming back after all these years. That means you'll finally throw the wedding that's been delayed by five years, right? Otherwise, Jayden will seriously think that he's the master of the Mercer family." As Eunice toys with the certified copy of marriage certificate, she says with a light sigh, "Dylan has a rather unique job that requires him to leave for five years. Naturally, I need to find someone who can take care of the child and me. Jayden fits the bill just fine. "Then again, I still have to sell his chastity. That way, Dylan will truly believe that I've never slept with Jayden before." I can only clench my fists tightly as I feel my eyes reddening. Then, I flip through the messages in my phone helplessly. That woman who has always wanted to become my mistress finally has a chance to pursue me.