How Does Untangled Help Teenage Girls Transition?

2025-12-09 18:12:08 181

5 Answers

Michael
Michael
2025-12-11 07:09:46
What I appreciate about Untangled is how it bridges the gap between teen experiences and adult understanding. Damour uses research—like how girls’ prefrontal cortexes develop slower than boys’, making Impulse control harder—but presents it through relatable stories. One girl’s panic over a B+ becomes a case study in perfectionism, not just 'overreacting.' The book also tackles modern issues like social media comparison, but without alarmism; instead, it offers concrete strategies, like 'digital detoxes' framed as self-care. I’ve seen it help teachers, too—one realized her 'lazy' student was actually paralyzed by fear of failure, a phase Damour calls 'entering the romantic world.' It’s rare to find a book that respects both teens’ intelligence and their emotional growing pains.
Quincy
Quincy
2025-12-15 03:57:58
Reading Untangled as a 16-year-old was a game-changer. Before, I thought my mood swings meant something was wrong with me, but Damour’s explanation of how teenage brains are wired made it click. She compares adolescence to remodeling a house—messy but necessary. The book gave me phrases to describe what I was feeling, like 'intrusive thoughts' or 'hypocritical authority,' which made me feel less alone. It also taught me to spot when my friends were in different 'passages,' like one being obsessed with fairness while another was suddenly rebelling. That helped me be more patient with them (and myself).
Evan
Evan
2025-12-15 12:07:57
I work with teens, and I’ve recommended Untangled to so many families because it’s like a decoder ring for adolescence. Damour doesn’t just list issues—she explains why girls react to things like sudden friend breakups or parental criticism with such Intensity, linking it to brain development and social conditioning. One mom told me the chapter on 'contending with adult authority' helped her understand her daughter’s eye rolls weren’t personal—they were part of separating and forming an identity. The book’s framework also helps adults avoid common pitfalls, like dismissing 'drama' (which Damour argues is often girls practicing conflict resolution in a low-stakes way). It’s not a rigid manual, though—it acknowledges that some teens will whirl through these phases while others linger, and that’s okay. My favorite insight? How she reframes rudeness as 'testing the durability of relationships,' which totally changed how I respond to teenage bluntness.
Ruby
Ruby
2025-12-15 13:25:55
Untangled by Lisa Damour is one of those books that feels like a warm conversation with someone who truly gets it. As a teenager, I remember flipping through its pages and feeling like the author was speaking directly to me—validating my frustrations with school, friendships, and family without sugarcoating anything. Damour breaks down the seven developmental 'passages' girls go through, like joining a new social group or handling academic pressure, with such clarity that it’s almost like having a roadmap.

What stood out to me was how she normalizes emotions like anger or anxiety instead of framing them as 'problems' to fix. There’s a chapter on helping girls 'untangle' their feelings by naming them, which I still use now when things feel overwhelming. The book’s real strength is its balance—it doesn’t patronize teens or dismiss their struggles, but it also doesn’t spiral into doom-and-gloom. It’s practical, like when Damour suggests scripting responses for awkward social situations, but also deeply reassuring in its tone. I lent my copy to a friend who was having meltdowns over college applications, and she said it felt like 'therapy in paperback.'
George
George
2025-12-15 23:59:29
Untangled got me through my worst self-doubt spirals. Damour’s take on 'the inner critic' hit hard—she writes about how girls often mistake self-criticism for self-improvement. Her suggestion to talk back to that voice ('Would I say this to my best friend?') became my mantra. The book also nails how societal expectations squeeze teens, like when she dissects why girls apologize constantly. It’s not preachy, though; it feels like having a wise aunt who remembers what being 15 was really like.
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