Tonya Hugh
Nathan Ritter is a stickler for process-driven management.
For the past three years we've been married, everything I do must go through an official approval process, as if I were an employee at his company.
If I want him to come home for dinner, I have to submit a request three days in advance. If I need money for living expenses, I have to submit a justification five days in advance.
Only when I visit his office do I see his young secretary, Miranda Hooper, folding my application reports into paper airplanes.
"Mr. Ritter, this is the 99th request from your wife asking you to spend time with her. Why haven't you approved it yet?"
Nathan's expression is as cold and detached as his eyes. He says, "I'm too busy lately. Just set it aside for now."
Miranda giggles, playfully pinching his pectoral muscles. She asks, "What about me, then? I want your company too. Do I have to go through the 'process' as well?"
Nathan pinches her cheek with doting affection.
"Really, when have you ever needed to go through a process? Don't you know that I've already offended a whole bunch of business partners just to keep you company? So, how are you going to make it up to me?"
I stand frozen in place, biting my lower lip until it bleeds.
So, this "approval process" is meant only for me after all.
I look down at my swollen, pregnant belly, and realize that there's nothing that I can do other than to swallow this bitter pill of this wretched marriage.
Then, in the middle of the night, my water breaks, soaking the sheets and the floor. I'm going into labor.
In a panic, I call Nathan, begging him to take me to the hospital. However, I hear him flipping through his calendar, his tone as cold and bureaucratic as ever.
"It's not your due date yet. I'm not approving any time off for this. Submit a formal request now, and when the day actually arrives, I'll set aside exactly 60 minutes to be with you."
The pain in my belly feels like it's crushing me to pieces. Hot tears stream from the corners of my eyes as I struggle to hold the pain in.
I'm thoroughly exhausted, and my heart has gone completely cold.
This marriage, reduced to nothing more than a series of bureaucratic procedures, is finally coming to an end.