Dirty Sex Jokes

How much will the surgery on your brother cost? He asked. It's $250,000. I replied. But the contract says that you will be paid $80,000." How are you going to pay for something with that little money? He asked. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. If you agree to have sex with me, I'll give you three hundred and seventy thousand dollars. He said. "What'll you do?" I asked him again as if I hadn't heard him before. I want you to get pregnant normally with my child. He said. Not by having a surrogate? I asked. No. If you agree, though. He answered. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided to take him up on his offer. Yes I'll do it. So that my brother can stay healthy. I thought I said the last part. So, that's that. He said. You'll have your own room and a credit card that you can use to buy whatever you want or need. But it can't be taken back. For two weeks, you will sleep in my room and have sex with me every day. You can't leave without my protection or permission. And last but not least, you won't have boyfriends as long as you're pregnant. You'll only belong to me after you sign that paper.

"Do you feel it coming alive?" he whispered. His hand holding mine on his bulge. "If anyone sees us—" I stuttered. We weren’t alone in the house. "If you agree to be my good little stepsister—they’ll treat you with respect too." His dark eyes held a wicked amusement that sent a shiver down my spine. "I know you had a crush on me." "I—I didn’t know you were my stepbrother," I tried to explain, but he silenced me with a finger to my lips. That touch! That gentle press of dominance. It was dangerous. It was temptation itself. "Then no one has to know our dirty little secret." His voice was a trap, laced with seduction. "Be my stepsister by day… and my whore by night." I had thought I was inching toward freedom. That escape was just within reach. But the noose had been tightening all along. And this time, it wasn’t fate or circumstance pulling it tight. It was the hands of my own stepbrothers. .. Lavender wanted a normal life—one where she was respected for who she was, not judged for being born from rape. But everything changed when she helped a wounded stranger– and unknowingly walked into the world of the mafia. She thought she could escape the ruthless mafia boss she saved—until she found herself in his mansion, introduced as his stepsister. When her mother made her meet her new family, Lavender’s world shattered. How could she tell her mother that her soon-to-be stepbrothers were mafia bosses, who saw her as nothing more than a pawn? Lavender is left with two choices: fight back or submit to her stepbrothers' control. But can she escape the grip of the mafia? But how can one ever escape the mafia?

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭." "You're now my dirty little secret which I possess with every breath of mine. You've no escape from me." He is a beast with the cover of a gentleman. He is known to the whole world yet he is one of the unsolved mysteries for them which they are dying to solve. He has his own share of secrets which can drown him. But he is way too sharp to let anyone come near them. "I crave for his single touch, his kisses and everything he did to me. But he's the one I should never be thinking of. He's way beyond my reach." She is not so the little princess dipped in innocence. With all the hurdles of life, she learnt to how to survive but she was too innocent for the game she had stepped in unwillingly. He was a mystery and she tangled herself with his puzzles from she failed to find her way back home. Manik Edward Johnson and Nandini Martin belongs to two different world. But their world collided with each other in the most forbidden way with lots of romance and dramas. But the thing will they be able to continue it?

One impetuous night gave them a gem and a lifetime of happiness. Izabelle had one-time sex with her crush, her cousin’s bestfriend after he was drugged. Later learning that she was pregnant, a misunderstanding flared where he believed that she had it all planned out. He agreed on taking responsibility but Izabelle’s desire was not to get into a loveless marriage and so she gathered her belongings and fled the country. Five years later, he saved a cute little bunny from child traffickers at the airport not knowing that the child was his. “You look like me, see? We have same eye colour,” the child pointed out. Then again, few minutes later when her Mother walked in, ‘Mommy, look I found daddy.” She raised her head to meet those icy familiar dark eyes. All Izabelle wanted was to keep her child away from Marcel but what about the sweet little thing holding onto his legs out of nowhere, batting her eyes at him and asking. “Will you be my daddy?”

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?

What happens when fate plays dirty games? When you know you love someone but then you find out they are not yours? Anika Hurler craved for only one thing in her life. And it was love. When she thought she found her mate, fate played her again. But she doesn't know,there is someone who can die a hundred deaths to be with her. Will she be able to reach Alpha Caleb, who loves her unconditionally? And will she ever trust him after all the betrayals? _______________________________ Skylar Hurler, Anika's twin sister. She has everything in her life. Everything, except for the very person she had always craved for, Adam Hurler. She knew Adam was her mate, but he never wanted her. She cried and fought to have him. Because she decided to never give up. But Adam is stubborn. Will Adam ever open his arms for Skylar?

To Rosetta, life was way too short to be lived within strict rules. The night before she turned 18, Rosetta signed up to be a one-time stripper at a private bar, and she ends up in the bed of a mysterious stranger who takes her to heaven and back. The following morning, he leaves before she awakens, making her to wonder if he was ever real. When her mother remarries for the third time, Rosetta is forced to relocate to Los Angeles with her, and her world falls apart when she realizes that her mother's new husband is the same man she had met weeks earlier at the club. Damon Brooks is her latest stepfather! Now, she has to fight her growing feelings for the only man who makes her mother happy, and risk losing a chance with him. Does it get better or worse when she finds out that Damon is falling, even harder for her, right under the nose of her mother? What happens when her step father gives her 100 days to enjoy their dirty little game, after which everything must end. Can Rosette handle the pain of what happens after? There's only one way to find out. Read this book, Now!

“What… what do you think you are doing?" I stuttered as his fingers slowly ran up my thighs. I whimpered as he pressed his groin against me, feeling every inch of his bulge pressing against me. “I already told you, little wolf. I want you to want me, I want you to ache for me. I want you to beg me to have my way with you" He whispered into my ear then he placed a kiss on my neck and I shivered with lust. “This wasn't part of the deal" I murmured and he chuckled. “Just say the word, Dahlia. Tell me how much you want me" He murmured and my eyes widened as I felt his warmth slowly disappear as he moved away from me slowly. Before he could get away, I grabbed onto his hand and stared into his eyes. I knew I was making the wrong decision but… “I want you" ~ After being accused of being a murderer by her mate, Dahlia has to find a way to prove her innocence and the only way to do that was to strike a deal with the Alpha King who has danger and sex written all over him. Accepting his deal came with a whole more baggage than she bargained for. What happens when Dahlia despite all odds finds herself attracted to the Alpha King she so dearly wants to despise, a man that was incapable of loving? What happens when secrets begin to unfold before their very eyes? What happens when the Alpha King, his Beta and her mate all want the same girl?

THIS BOOK CONTAINS NUMEROUS SHORT EROTICA STORIES AND IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG READERS. ~~~~~~~ “This..this is so wrong..” Octavia’s words turned into a song of moans, as she arched her back, her mouth wide open covered in drool and her eyes rolling continuously. “Does Bernie fuck you the way I do?” A deep baritone voice asked followed by the slapping of skins. “No..no.” Octavia stuttered, pleasure rushing through every part of her body. “Does he give you as many orgasms as you want?” Came the baritone deep voice again which made her stomach flipped. “No, Romania. Only you do.” …….. Octavia thought she has acquired everything she wanted. A loving boyfriend, a stable job, lovely friends and so on, but her sex life was nothing to write home about. Her boyfriend made her feel loved, but when it comes to orgasms, he always made her frustrated. Things changed when Octavia boyfriend’s older brother, Romania, came in. He gave her as many orgasms as she wanted and when he speaks, her core throbs. But Octavia is thrusted in a situation where she was forced to chose between her love life or her sex life.