Elf Names Male

On my birthday, Heather Pond’s lover posted a sonogram on his social media account and captioned it, [We’re going to be parents!] I commented, [Congratulations. You can have the baby cot from my place.] The next second, Heather called me to give me a warning. “Brandon Smith is dying. I’ll come back to you once I give birth to his child. Please don’t trigger him any further!” I remained calm and collected when I served her the divorce papers. Then, I packed my bags and went on a vacation in Europe.

My wife, who had always despised lugging around keys, ditched our modern smart lock for a clunky old-school key version. She even bolted it shut during showers. Every time I returned from work, I'd have to ring her up first. Fed up, I slapped the divorce agreement on the table during a family get-together. Everyone assumed I was drunk and joking. My wife hauled off and cracked me across the face. "Am I asking too much? You promised you'd indulge me forever." I met her glare with icy indifference and let out a bitter scoff. "Aren't I divorcing you and never returning the ultimate indulgence?"

My mother is a hospital director. To give my brother, an intern doctor, more hands-on experience, she assigns him as the lead surgeon for my brain tumor operation. I beg her to let someone else do it and tell her it's my only chance at survival. But she slaps me hard across the face and screams, "How did I raise such a selfish, ungrateful child? Your brother has just started his internship—can't you help him improve his skills? Is that too much to ask?" Later, the surgery fails. I die on the operating table. And my mother seems to have aged decades overnight.

Andre pikir tidak akan ada hal aneh saat tantenya tinggal di rumahnya untuk sementara waktu. Namun, dia tidak menyangka jika tantenya yang katanya seorang janda itu malah memberi pengalaman menarik lain untuknya. Itu membuat Andre semakin yakin dengan kata temannya bahwa janda memang lebih menggoda.

Djakarta, 1955. Di rumah megah Tuan Broto, aku hanyalah sopir … tapi empat istrinya menjadikanku pelarian rahasia yang tak boleh diketahui siapa pun. Setiap panggilan ke kamar mereka bukan sekadar tugas, melainkan “pengabdian” sunyi yang membuat batas antara kepatuhan dan hasrat perlahan runtuh ....

Pram diminta menjadi pelayan oleh seorang nyonya yang cantik. Ternyata sang nyonya cantik seperti meminta pelayanan lebih! Para wanita penghuni rumah tersebut satu persatu juga meminta servis spesial. "Mas Pram! Aku butuh kamu secepatnya!"

Istriku tidak pernah memberiku jatah, tapi bagaimana jika Ibu Mertua dan Kakak Ipar yang menawariku jatah? Awalnya aku menolak, demi istriku. Tapi tiba-tiba, belasan pesan masuk yang ternyata berisi video perselingkuhan istriku dengan mantannya, tanpa busana, dengan mantan kekasihnya dulu. Aku yang menceritakan semua keluh kesahku tiga tahun ini kepada mereka, ternyata disambut baik dan mereka merasa bersalah. Namun, sambutan itu perlahan berubah, terutama ketika mereka terpesona dengan keperkasaanku!

Penelope Rivera's little boy toy, Theodore Schneider, is throwing another tantrum. She slides the divorce papers across the table toward me. "Just sign them for show. It's to keep Teddy happy." I clench the cuff of my suit and nod in silence. I sign my name in one swift stroke. As I'm walking out, I hear one of her girlfriends teasing, "Samuel's way too easygoing. Does he actually do everything you say?" Penelope takes a graceful sip of red wine and smirks. "Wanna bet?" They bet that I will quietly go through with the divorce at the courthouse, even if my eyes are red with tears. Listening their laughter, I rub my thumb over my phone screen and reply to the message I've just received. "Will you marry me?" it says. "I will."

As we make our way to the city hall, Paisley Doyle is struck by regret once again. After seven years together, this is the 11th time we've found ourselves at this crossroads. Every time we reach the city hall, she claims she needs more time to care for her sick first love and can't bring herself to marry me. Unable to hold back any longer, I finally decide to confront her. "If his condition never improves, does that mean you'll never marry me? Tell me, what do I even mean to you?" Paisley's temper ignites, and she snaps back at me without a second thought. "I promised to take care of him for the rest of my life! Can't you stop being so selfish? "Besides, we've been together for seven years. What does it matter if we're not legally married?"

Seraphine Hale, a genius musician, announces her return to the country. When a reporter asks whether she's back for her first love, she smiles icily. "Are you talking about that trash? It wouldn't be any of my business even if he were to drop dead tomorrow." What she doesn't know is that I've already been dead for close to a decade.