Funny Dirty Quotes

WARNING : Matured contents !!! 18+ This book contains a lot of steamy contents and profanities, it doesn't get boring, it only gets hotter. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. "You know," Octavia mused, "we both have these intense sexual urges, but we're terrible at picking partners. What if we just became friends with benefits? No strings attached." Keir raised an eyebrow, his piercing blue eyes meeting hers. "Friends with benefits, huh? Are we sure we can keep it that simple?" Octavia Cosmo and Keir Hydra are childhood friends, they come to a compromise that after being in a series of unhealthy relationships with their past partners, they should be friends with benefits to satisfy their sexual urges. But as weeks of intense passion and lustful acts turned into months, Octavia's heart began to betray her. She found herself thinking about Keir not just in the heat of the moment, but at the most unexpected times. Love had stealthily crept into their friendship, but she was afraid to admit it. One night, as she lay on Keir's chest after a night of pleasure, she finally mustered the courage to speak. "Keir, there's something I need to tell you," she began, her voice trembling with vulnerability. But before she could continue, Keir gently interrupted, his voice laced with regret. "Octavia, we need to talk. I've been thinking... I want to call off our agreement." "What?"

My crippled sister, Monica Porter, jumped from the roof of the classroom building. The day before she died, she had just been fitted with the custom prosthetic legs I had paid for with ten years of savings. She was glowing, excited to finally stand up on her own. But my wife's best friend, a guy she said was just like a brother to her, locked Monica inside an empty art room. He smashed her new legs, forced her to crawl on the floor and lick paint clean to retrieve the broken parts, and recorded everything on video. And my wife, a judge, ultimately ruled that the case could not stand. "The video cannot confirm the time it was recorded and may represent consensual performance art between both parties," she said. Sandra Pauley's final judgment was simple. "The deceased had a history of depression. The school and the defendant bear no responsibility." I smiled and cooked her a full table of food. The next day, I hung the bully, Eric Hoyles, from the school's flagpole and livestreamed it to the entire internet. "Honey, remember how you said Monica had such pretty legs?" I raised a claw hammer and brought it down on his ankle. "If you don't hand over the video evidence right now, I'll hook out his Achilles tendon one strand at a time and let him learn what it feels like to crawl!" The wind passed through. His screaming broke apart in the air, mixing with the strained creaking of the flagpole until it sounded almost like music. The live chat went insane. Meanwhile, I laughed until my eyes filled with tears.

An alarm wakes everyone up at 1:00 am. It turns out that a few college students have gone missing during their exploration in Wolffang Valley. My heart goes tense at the news. After all, my stepdaughter, Nancy Campton, had told me yesterday that she'd be exploring that place! Since Nancy has asthma, I specifically prepare medication that's meant to treat asthma in my medical kit just in case anything happens. After carrying my backpack, I begin urging my husband, Jack Campton, who's also the leader of the rescue team, to set off right away. But he keeps stopping me in my tracks. "What's the rush? Let's wait for Dakota to finish doing her makeup." Half an hour later, Dakota Sweeney, who has a face full of makeup and is wearing a pink rescue jacket, begins complaining in a high-pitched voice. "Why did you keep rushing me? Thanks to you, my eyeliner came out all crooked!" On the way to the valley, Dakota actually pulls out a pair of pink lace panties. After unscrewing the cap of a bottle of life-saving water, she starts washing it with said water. I can't endure her stupid antics anymore. "Have you gone nuts? This bottle of water could potentially save someone's life!" But Dakota replies in a matter-of-fact tone, "I'm a woman with principles! I must wash my underwear that I've changed out of on the same day!" Jack shoves me away at that moment. He then snatches the bottled water from me before passing it to Dakota. "Willow Armstrong, you're the crazy one here! Is it wrong for Dakota to take care of her hygiene?" As I stare at Jack, a cold smile slowly spreads across my face. It's not wrong for Dakota to take care of her hygiene. I just wonder if Jack is capable of facing the consequences behind Dakota's tendency to drag things out.

Veronica Hayden is on the verge of losing everything. Her father, Vincent Hayden, is sent to prison. Veronica’s father owes money to Ezra Waylen, and she cannot repay his debt. She has no one to turn to and nowhere to go until Ezra Waylen offers to keep her off the streets. What does Ezra want from Veronica? Ezra wants to own her. The mafia boss is not used to anyone telling him no, and with no other choice, Veronica chooses to be Ezra's live-in servant. Veronica will bend to every desire Ezra has and learn all his dirty, dangerous secrets. Veronica plans to use these secrets to free herself, but one obstacle is in the way, Roman. Ezra's underboss Roman and Veronica start an affair that could get them both killed. Will the secrets Veronica learns from Ezra be enough to free Roman and herself, or will they both be trapped under Ezra's thumb?

Book One: My Father’s Best Friend. I knew this was wrong on so many levels, the things that I felt for Vincent but each time I was in his arms, I wanted nothing more than to remain there. His lips were delicate and his aura was relentlessly enthralling. I could see the danger and unfiltered desire in his emerald green eyes, this was never supposed to happen. But the fact that he wanted me first made me want him even more. Falling for Vincent Calloway was so wrong but he made it so easy. And all it took was one summer In Oregon, one hot tumultuous summer with my dad’s best friend. What’s the worst that could happen?

“You wanna know what I did? Sure, I'll tell you. I fucked with a pretty bimbo all night. Her energy was unmatched!” Stella always knew that her boss, James, had his eyes on her and would do anything to get her in his bed. But she refused to give in to his advances and drew the line between their CEO and secretary relationship. However, when James gets involved in a scandal with a famous model, and his mother forces him to get married, he has no choice but to turn to Stella for help to be his fake girlfriend. What started as a fake relationship and sparks of sexual attraction turned into something more when they were forced to get closer. James had secrets that could haunt Stella for the rest of her life and it's up to her to choose between her sanity and her attraction towards her boss.

   She let out a gasp as I spun her around and pressed her Firmly between the wall and my chest, loving the way she fit perfectly into my arms. She had no idea how badly I wanted to consume All of her.      “Let go of me you bastard! You're harassing me!” She screamed and I chuckled Before grabbed her hands and holding them up above her head.    She moaned slightly and I knew I was affecting her as much as she was affecting me.     “It seems you don't understand what it means to be claimed by me. What it means to be mine and I don't mind showing you over and over again till every part of your body aches for me. Now be a good girl and arch your back”... ~     She was only meant to be a game, he was only meant to be a means of survival but when lust and desire gets in the way, the tables are turned quickly and Raeliya is caught in the middle of two brothers who want nothing more than to make her theirs. The only difference was one betrayed her and called it fate; the other bled for her and called it love.    As power shifts, alliances crumble and secrets long buried rise to the surface, Raeliya must choose between the love that broke her and the obsession That might destroy her.

Dark intentions. Scandalous affair. Carnal desire.Her life is nothing but perdition.Sahara Smith. Model by day, singer by night.Desired by men, envied by many.Her beauty is a blessing, her charm is a curse.She sings like an angel, she moves like a tease...She meets men with different desires and with each or them, she falls. Hard. She is admired, used, manipulated, hunted, betrayed. But her name is synonymous to grit. She's willing to do anything to get what she wants - even if it means using her body to seduce men and destroy them.If there's one man Sahara worships and desires, it's Max. But he's a schmuck so she chooses Baste instead - the only man who puts her in the pedestal. There's one problem with him though - Baste is dirt-poor, something she really can't put up with.Her life is going according to plan when she crosses paths with Arnold Del Mundo. Again. He's a respected professor and a decent family man - but he's also obsessed with her, dangerously.She then meets Ace, who's smitten the very first time he sees her. He is Sahara's depiction of a prince charming - gorgeous, well-off. He's her lifesaver but also her damnation.As Baste discovers her dirty secrets, Ace suddenly disappears. She's left without a choice but accept Ricardo Aguas in her life - a fine gentleman who promises her the world in exchange for being his mistress. But the lavish life he promises has a price - her freedom.Then comes Armando Tantoco. Known for his cold attitude, he saves Sahara from her nightmare. He proposes marriage and guarantees protection. As Sahara gets everything she ever wanted, she's confronted with the men from her chaotic past...Max. Baste. Arnold. Ace. Ricardo. Armando.Who's willing to keep Sahara's dirty little secrets?

Noah Kline is the picture of daytime purity. He is a shy philosophy student who wears glasses and shrinks under Dr. Alexander Elliott's piercing gray stare during ethics lectures. His heart races as he imagines those commanding hands bending him over the podium. At night, he turns into Nyx, the club's dirtiest pole dancer. His body is oiled and shining, his hips grind against steel in a way that makes cocks throb below. He drops into a slow, dirty split that makes cocks throb below. With his thighs spread wide around the pole, he rolls his pelvis in wet, teasing circles. His thong is soaked and clinging to his leaking erection while men stuff hundreds into his garter and fingers graze his balls. When Noah needs money for school, he gets a private VIP gig. He climbs the pole in a tiny thong and a glittering harness. He bends back and slides his fingers inside the waistband to tease his own hole on stage, moaning softly as the crowd cheers. Then the lights catch a familiar face: Professor Elliott, coming out of the shadows, his suit clean and his eyes black with wild hunger. Elliott rushes onto the stage and slams Noah's chest against the cold pole. "Daytime little mouse can't meet my eyes," he growls, shoving his knee between Noah's thighs to rub against his sore cock. "But here you are, dripping and begging strangers to break this tight hole?" Rough hands pull the harness aside, and Elliott's fingers go between Noah's cheeks, circling his entrance before pushing two thick fingers inside and curling them to hit his prostate hard.

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY CONTAIN THEMES LIKE DARK AND SPICY ROMANCE, STEAMY AND SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND FORCED SEX WHICH IS STRICTLY NOT FOR KIDS UNDER +18 READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED. . "If I should take you tonight Sierra, your body belongs to me and only I will be able to touch and do to you as I please, do you understand?" He asked with a smug grin on his face while he waited for her response. "I don't care who the fuck you are but you can't hold me captive. I will run away from here. That I promise you!" She swore vehemently. "The thing is..." He tugged at the collar around her neck, pulling her forward with a sinister smile on his face. "You can run Piccola but you can't hide. I'd tumble the whole world upside down to find you if I have to. You belong to me and only me!" *.*.* . Twenty year old Sierra Delavine has a one night stand with a masked stranger at a hotel who turns out to be Diavolo Castillo, the most dangerous Italian Mafia and drug lord right after receiving the heartbreaking and devastating news of her sister's medical condition. Diavolo who is the sworn enemy of the former senator who happens to be her father, offers her a deal to become his sex slave in exchange of her sister's life. She would have to live with him for three months and take him. All of him whenever and however he wanted it. As their worlds collided, they found themselves caught in a web of lies, betrayal, and danger. Will Ciara accept Diavolo's offer and will she find solace in the heart of the ruthless Italian mafia?