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Chapter 05

Author: september
last update Last Updated: 2021-09-11 17:30:33

Hugo’s POV

“What even was that, Hugo? Starting a fight but could not finish it? Could not even throw a decent punch? What are you, a little girl?” My father’s words rang in my ears, like the howl of a wolf in the middle of a peacefully silent night.

“B-but Father, it was his fault. And he was obviously bigger,” I responded, almost close to crying. I would probably cry, but not in front of him. Never in front of him.

“Older, bigger, it does not matter! In this world, if you are weak, you lose. And if someone is a loser, then they are not my child. Are you my child, Hugo?” He said, ever so calmly, but with the same venomous tone that he always used with me whenever he asks me that question. Are you my son, Hugo? Are you a loser, Hugo? Are you giving up now, Hugo?

Questions that have been asked by him to me almost on the regular basis, but never failed to get me feeling taken aback. And in the short span of seconds that I failed to answer immediately, he would always repeat the question, patience thinner. “Are you my child, Hugo?”

“I-I am, Father,” I would then say with all the remaining courage I could muster.

“Then why are you a loser?” With that, he would turn his back on me. “Very much unlike your brother.” With that, he would walk away. I would remain standing there, dead on my tracks, my head stubbornly bowed down. Because I am sure that by the time my head snap up, those pair of eyes would be looking at me. The pair of eyes that are very much like mine. The eyes of my own brother, piercing through me, and not in a comforting way. He wins again, and I would walk away defeated.

Another painful conversation have ended. Same situation, same questions asked, same answers given. And at the end of it all I am still the weak child, the weak sibling. The good for nothing member of the pack.

I shook my head repeatedly, trying so hard to get out of the trance that I have once again let myself succumbed into. It is never good when the events that I remember happened back home, because I am almost certain that nothing good has happened to me there. My father’s voice is always a bad news, my mother’s touches always heavy on the skin, and my brother’s gazes are always a bad place for me. For all the years of my life that I have spent living there, never have I had one memory that I could take with me to bring me up whenever I am feeling down. Not a single memory that would make my day better and put my heart at peace. And though those are just memories, it still affect me in different ways possible.

And I think the hardest part of it all is that it all happened at home. That is one fact about the worst memories that I have that I could never get myself to accept. In the human world, people are told to go home when it is raining outside. But what do I do when the rain is at home, inside, pouring with all its might?

I could still remember clearly the day when the rain turned into a storm. The day when all my buttons were pushed, the deciding day that put me in the position that I am currently in, doing earthly things that I have never seen myself doing, not even in dreams.

“Father, you called us?” My twin brother, Daniel, spoke first.

“Oh there you are, you two. Your mother and I were just going through the duties and positions that must be fulfilled by the two of you in the future, when the right time comes. And we have come to the decision that the needs of the pack, from the gears, potions, medicine, and all that, be taken care of by you, Hugo.”

I almost snorted. This must be some kind of a sick joke right now. “Father, isn’t that like what Mother does now? Like, that duty is for the girls, the women who seldom fight. You are definitely kidding us, for sure. Because why would you give Daniel and I that position, right?” I said, still convinced that this is all a big prank, some joke to build up the big surprise.

“Hugo, nobody said that the position will be for the two of you. Somebody has to lead this pack in the future after me, right? And that, clearly, could not be you.” He answered back, with that sickening smile on his face. As if he did not just dropped the bomb that I, Hugo Smith, the older between us twins, all my life believing that I was next to inherit the throne, will not be inheriting it after all.

“Father, with all due respect, I am older than Daniel. I should be the next to lead,” I uttered, hands visibly shaking for trying to clench my fist tighter on my sides.

He dismissed what I have just said with a wave of his hand, saying, “It does not matter. You guys are twins, anyway.” Then he turned to mother and said the next words that would forever be tattooed in my brain, like I was not in the room,  “This kid needs training, as much as the position given to him is plain and simple in itself. Can’t be too sure nowadays. Not with Hugo, at least.”

“This conversation is over. Daniel, follow me.” And with that, he left. At that precise moment, I was thinking, how does he get to make all of these big decisions, announce them in a single conversation, crumple my being like I am just a trash and not one of his sons, then walk away? Why is it that he always get to walk away first? Why do I always need to be left to stand there, dumbfounded, like a paralyzed man who cannot be moved? And why is it that when I went back to my senses and could finally walk away from the scene, I would do so with such a heavy heart?

So with all of the guts and pride that I have left, I tried as hard as I can to turn the tables. I made my exit as grand as possible.

“I am leaving,” I announced to the group, which consists of my father, mother, and twin brother. I said so with all of my emotions drained in my voice and expression without looking at them. No one spoke, I did not give them a chance to do so. “I do not know when I am coming back.”

And with that, I turned my back on them. I walked away first, heart feeling as light as it could possibly be in all the years that I have lived. I left with enough resources to sustain me alone, with a plan so intelligently made by me alone.

I do not know what they said after, if they ever talked about me, but I could not care less. I am free. And when I come back, I am coming back a successful man, more determined than ever, soon to be married to the one and only heiress of a more powerful pack. They all played me so well, let us see who wins the game now.

If someone would see even a glimpse of truth to all the lies that I have uttered ever since I stepped into the human land, if someone find s out even a small part of this little plan that I have, they would probably say that I am cruel. Like, what the hell is someone like me doing here, feigning attraction and care towards a university woman, wasting my time interacting with people I barely know and has no interest in getting to know more? They might think and ask, why play all these stupid games, instead of working on myself to be someone better, someone deserving for the invisible crown and power? Why mess with the innocent? Whoever finds out about this would tell me to stop. Stop. Just go back to the place where you belong. Be gone, screw you, and all that.

But then again, whoever finds out about my plans would only know about these plans, right? They would never know the sleepless nights, the fear of always losing in such a degrading way, the feeling of always being left behind in a family of four. Growing up, it was just me and my twins as siblings. Just the two of us as their children. So why can’t they love and praise us equally? Why do I always have to get the smallest part of the pie? Because Daniel is better. He is the best. He is the strongest. I am older, but I am weak and useless to them.

I may be all of those things, but I am not stupid and I most certainly do not give up just easily. If I cannot get the recognition that I wanted and deserved alone, then I am dragging someone into this. And I am not the least bit conscientious. Eliana Deere, daughter of the admired by many Boss R, the one and only heiress to the throne, you will be mine. And you will make me the most successful pack leader in all of the vampire history.

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