Novels by Zerah

It had been raining for three days. By four o'clock the third day, Malik was stir-crazy. He wasn't the kind of person to stay inside; he was always moving. Always on his way somewhere new. He said he couldn't take it anymore and asked who wanted to go to the movies. There was only one movie theater in Cousins besides the drive-in, and it was in a mall.Khalil was in his room, and when Malik went up and asked him to come, he said no. He'd been spending an awful lot of time alone, in his room, and I could tell it hurt Amir’s feelings. He'd be leaving soon for a college road trip with our dad, and Khalil didn't seem to care. When Khalil wasn't at work, he was too busy strumming his guitar and listening to music.So it was just Malik, Amir, and me. I convinced them to watch a romantic comedy about two dog walkers who walk the same route and fall in love. It was the only thing playing. The next movie wouldn't start for another hour. About five minutes in, Amir stood up, disgusted. "I can't

Our mothers thought we were all at the beach that afternoon. They didn't know that Amir and I had gotten bored and decided to come back to the house for a snack. As we walked up the porch steps, heard them talking through the window screen.Malik stopped when he heard Leila say, "Freyah, I hate myself for even thinking this, but I almost think I'd rather die than lose my breast." Malik stopped breathing as he stood there, listening. Then he sat down, and I did too.My mother said, I know you don't mean that."I hated it when my mother said that, and I guessed Leila did too because she said, "Don't tell me what I mean," and I'd never heard her voice like that before harsh, angry. "Okay. Okay. I won't." Leila started to cry then. And even though we couldn't see them, I knew that my mother was rubbing Leila's back in wide circles, the same way she did mine when I was upset.I wished I could do that for Malik. I knew it would make him feel better, but I couldn't. Instead, I reache

I was sitting in an Adirondack chair eating toast and reading a magazine when my mother came out and joined me. She had that serious look on her face, her look of purpose, the one she got when she wanted to have one of her mother-daughter talks. I dreaded those talks the same way I dreaded my period."What are you doing today?" she asked me casually. I stuffed the rest of my toast into my mouth. This?" "Maybe you could get started on your summer reading for AP English," she said, reaching over and brushing some crumbs off my chin. "Yeah, I was planning on it," I said, even though I hadn't been. My mother cleared her throat. "Is Khalil doing drugs?" she asked me. “What?“ “Is Khalil doing drugs?" I almost choked. "No! Why are you asking me anyway? Khalil doesn't talk to me. Ask Amir." “I already did. He doesn't know. He wouldn't lie,"she said, peering at me "Well, I wouldn't either!" My mother sighed. I know. Beck's worried. He's been acting differently. He qui

I guess Mr. Kareem was good-looking, for a dad. He was better-looking than my father anyway, but he was also vainer than him. I don't know that he was as good-looking as Leila was beautiful, but that might've just been because I loved Leila more than almost anyone, and who could ever measure up to a person like that? Sometimes it's like people are a million times more beautiful to you in your mind. It's like you see them through a special lens- but maybe if it's how you see them, that's how they really are. It's like the whole tree falling in the forest thing.Mr. Kareem gave us kids a twenty anytime we went anywhere. Khalil was always in charge of it. "For ice cream," he'd say. "Buy yourselves something sweet." Something sweet. It was always something sweet. Khalil worshipped him. His dad was his hero. For a long time, anyway. Longer than most people. I think my dad stopped being my hero when I saw him with one of his PhD students after he and my mother separated. She wasn't even pre

“Zarah, have you called your dad yet?" my mother asked me.“No."“I think you should call him and tell him how you're doing."I rolled my eyes. I doubt he's sitting at home worrying about it,""Still.""Well, have you made Amir call him?" I countered.“No, I haven't," she said, her tone level. "Your dad and Amir are about to spend two weeks together looking at colleges. You, on the other hand, won't get to see him until the end of summer.Why did she have to be so reasonable?Everything was that way with her. My mother was the only person I knew who could have a reasonable divorce.My mother got up and handed me the phone. "Call your father," she said, leaving the room. She always left the room when I called my father, like she was giving ne privacy. As if there were some secrets I needed to tell my father that I couldn't tell him in front of her.I didn't call him. I put the phone back in its cradle. He should be the one calling me; not the other way around. He was the father; I was j

After dinner I stayed downstairs on the couch and so did Khalil. He sat there across from me, strumming chords on his guitar with his head bent."So I heard you have a girlfriend," I said. "I heard it's pretty serious.'""My brother has a big mouth." About a month before we'd left for Cousins, Malik had called Amir. They were on the phone for a while, and I hid outside Amir’s bedroom door listening. Amir didn't say a whole lot on his end, but it seemed like a serious conversation. I burst into his room and asked him what they were talking about, and Amir accused me of being a nosy little spy, and then he finally told me that Khalil had a girlfriend."So what's she like?" I didn't look at him when I said this. I was afraid he'd be able to see how much I cared.Khalil cleared his throat. “We broke up," he said. I almost gasped. My heart did a little ping. “Your mom is right, you are a heartbreaker.""I meant it to come out as a joke, but the words rang in my head and in the air like som