"Lucky"
“Always remember Einalem that all of us have purpose in this world, the reason why we’re living now. Don’ waste this life because you have purpose, the only thing that you need to do…is find it. Einalem, find your purpose so you would have a reason to live.”
That was my grandmother last message to me before she died in that hospital bed. After that day it always keeps repeating on my mind. Grandma says we all have purpose in this world the reason why we live. It means I have purpose. We’re not just nothing. While my mother says that someone from above is the most powerful. He’s the one who gave us life. He gave us hope. He gave us blessings and gifts. We make sins but he’s always ready to forgive as long as we’re regretting.My mother said that I’m lucky that I’m here in this world. I’m lucky because I tasted the Earth’s blessings. I’m lucky because I clearly saw the light. I’m lucky because I felt the word ‘love’.But I couldn’t imagine that I’m one of those lucky people since I heard about my condition from the doctor.I guess…I’m not lucky enough…“Einalem!” I heard my mom’s shaking voice beside me. I also heard my dad’s sobbing. But all I felt was pain. Pain and pain. My whole body was in pain. My brain and heart was in pain.“Einalem…please stay with us..” Mommy said while crying while holding my hands tightly. I don’t have a time to face mommy anymore because of the pain I’m feeling. I closed my eyes tightly as my head and body poured out. I’m almost deaf because of the pain. My tears are flowing like water falls. How? How can I escape this pain? Can I…have a break for all of these?
I saw the nurses around me with my blurred vision while they’re rushing me towards the emergency room. The happiest moment of my life turns out to be the most painful night. On my 18th birthday I suddenly felt dizzy and sick, I have long notice many blesses in my body and I don’t know where it comes from…until this day came. Pain is all over my body. I almost couldn’t open my eyes because of pain. I am still wearing my gown for my debut but sadly it will turn into a hospital gown later.
When I entered the emergency room I felt the quick action of doctors and nurses to treat me. Until I felt the little needle pierced on me. And it made me so dizzy and sleepy. I prayed that this pain would gone once I wake up. And I hope that someone from above could hear my prayer.
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was my mother’s face. She were smiling at me.
“Mom..” I called her. When my vision got cleared I saw her smile but the sadness on her eyes is very evident. And then I saw daddy, he’s also smiling at me. Why do I have this feeling that they are just faking it? What’s the problem?
“Dad..” I also called my father. They both embraced me tightly like any moment now I could disappear. My eyes furrowed at their reactions.
“W-What’s the problem?” I asked weak. They withdrew from their hug. Dad caressed my cheeks and Mom stared at me softly.
“We’re glad you’re fine now.” Mom said. I smiled but I’m still confuse. I still want to talk to them when suddenly the doctor entered the room. Mommy and Daddy quickly faced him.
“What’s the result doc?” Dad asked. When my father ask that question I got determined to know my condition. The doctor looked at me with his sad and concerned eyes. Why? What is it?
“I’m sorry..Mr and Mrs Zurbano…but your daughter is sick.” he said. Mom started to cry but I felt numb. Why is she crying? Why? I’m just sick! What is it? Fever?!I can’t understand Dad looked at me with his sad and weary eyes. I shook my head. Why? I can’t understand! Why are they reacting like that?
“S-Stop crying Mom…I-I can be healed-” I stopped from talking when Mom hugged me tightly! Dad started to shed tears! My strong daddy is crying! Why are they crying!?
“I’m sorry Einalem..but it would not be easy for you..” The doctor said and I want to shout at him so much! Why don’t he tell me everything?
“What is it?” I pleaded. I want answers! I saw how hesitant the doctor was but but I am very determined to know!
“The symptoms you had and the blood result shows that you have….a Leukemia stage 2.”
My hands started to shake, tears started to formed in the side of my eyes. I couldn’t breathe properly. My world suddenly crumpled down. I wished that it isn’t true. But even though I pinched and hurt myself repeatedly it always tells me that it is true. It’s not a dream nor imagination. This is the only fact that I couldn’t accept. I don’t want to believe it. But my mind were so clouded and even I heard how my parents cried for me I remained spaced out.
They are all wrong. I am not lucky. I have no purpose. I am destined to die early than them. Since that day I started to hate this world. I started to hate the pain. I started to lose hope…because I am dying…anyway.
“I HAVE ENOUGH”"Eina, nakainom ka na ba ng gamot?" Mom asked while we're having our breakfast."Yes Mommy.." i answered. Tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya agad ko itong kinuha at tiningnankung sino ang nag text. And it was Mariel.‘Where are you? Ang bagal mo Eina!’ &
“CUTE”"Ano bang naging problema Eina?" Mabilis na tanong ni Vaness ng umalis kami sa loob ng sinehan. Goodness! Naha high blood ako! Humabol sa akin yung anim habang papalabas ako ng mall."Naiinis ako sa lalaking y
"Day"I woke up with my head aching. Umupo ako sa kama kasabay ng paghawak ko sa aking ulo. Napapikit pa ako sa sobrang sakit nito.Damn! Hang over.Umayos ako ng upo at napatingin sa gamot na nasa side table ako. I saw a letter. It was from my mom. Siguro ay nasa trabaho na sila ni daddy. Parehas kasi silang nagtatrabaho sa isang firm. Mommy is an engineer while dad is an architect.Inumin mo ang gamot sa hang over and then after is your medication tablet. Please Einalem December take care of your health-Mommy.Bumuntong hininga ako at ininom mg diretso ang para sa hang over. Pumunta ako sa aking isang table kung saan nakalagay ang marami kong gamot para sa aking sakit.&nb
"Today"Napagdesisyonan kong kalimutan na lang lahat ng nangyari noong gabing yun dahil alam ko namang impossible na magkita pa kami ng lalaking yun. Kahit sa iisang school lang kami papasok impossible pa rin. Sobrang laki ng Enverga at imposibleng magkita pa kami.Napabuntong hininga ako. Mukhang bad move yung desisyon kong lumipat ng school. Noong first year college kasi kami ay sa Maryhill College kami nag aaral at napag usapan naming magkakaibigan na lumipat ng Enverga."Malapit na ulit ang pasukan! Shet! Eina hindi ko pa rin nalilimutan yung eskandalo mo sa bar noong isang linggo!" Leley laughed.Nandito kami sa bahay ni Niña, nag momovie marathon kami but it turns out daldalan ang nangyari. Hindi ko na nga naintindihan yung mov
"Ways""W-Who...are you?" Because of nervousness I just pretended that I didn't know him. It always been my plan. To act normally. Breathe in, breathe out. Kaya mo to! Fighting!"Sa sobra bang kalasingan nakalimutan mo na ang mukhang ito?" He said full of sarcasm.Syempre hindi ko siya makakalimutan! Sinabuyan ko siyang ng pop corn dahil sa inis sa pakikipaghalikan niya at nadamay pa ako tapos nabunggo niya ako sa dancefloor dahil nakikipaghalikan na naman siya nagtataka nga ako kung bakit may labi pa siya! Dapat napudpud na!"Sorry...I don't know you." I said. Aalis na sana ako pero hinarangan niya ako kaya kumunot ang noo ko."Pwes ipapaalala ko sayo Miss." He said at halos manlaki ang mata ko ng sunggaban niya
"Paranoid"Parang gusto ko ng tumakbo paalis sa cafeteria dahil sa sinabi ni Vaness. Tumigil yata ang oras at natigilan ako ng matindi! My gosh! Ano ba ito?!"Hala! Oo nga si Perfi!" Bulong naman ni Leley. Hindi ako lumingon sa tinitingnan nila at nagpatuloy na lang ako sa pag inom ng chuckie at napagtanto ko na wala na pa lang laman!"Mukhang dito kakain ang mga Suarez!" Mahinang tili ni Roma. At dahil nakukuryuso na talaga ako bahagya akong lumingon at nakita ko nga si Perfi na nakangising nakaupo sa tabi ni Isacar na pinsan niya at may dumating pa na limang matatangkad na kalalakihan. Sumulyap ako sa paligid at halos mapa 'o' ang bibig ko ng makitang halos lahat ay nagmamasid sa pitong magpipinsan!Umayos na ako ng tayo dahil natatakot akong mapansin ako dito ni Perfi. Tumingin ako sa anim na namamangha rin yata sa pagtingin sa pitong Suarez."Hoy! Tigil
"See you"Gusto ko na lang kainin ng lupa!Nakakahiya! Paniguradong pulang pula na ang pisngi ko dahil sa sinabi niya.Pero ano pa bang babalikan niya na nangyari kahapon?Nang muli akong bumaling sa kaniya nakangisi pa rin siya at dahil hiyang hiya na ako hindi na ako nag isip dahil mabilis ko siyang tinulak at marahas na tumakbo paalis.Hingal na hingal ako pagkadating sa room. Napansin ito ni Leley at Roma kaya agad silang nagtanong pagkaupo ko."What happened to you? Bakit hinga na hingal ka?" Roma asked curiously.Hindi ako makatingin sa kanila."W-Wala...may inutos lang si Prof." I lied. Buti na lang dumating na ang prof namin kaya hindi na nagtanong yung dalawa.Lumilipad na ang utak ko kakaisip sa lalaking yun. Nakalimutan kong maloko nga pala ang mga Suarez. I
"Go Beyond Limitations"Hindi pa ako nakakaahon sa sinabi ni Perfi bago siya umalis may lumapit na sa akin ang isang babae na kuryuso ata sa pag uusap namin ni Perfi, yun ay kung maituturing ba talaga yung pag uusap?"Kayo na ni Perfi, Eina?" She asked. Wow she knows my name but I don't know her."Hindi." Sagot ko dahil yun ang totoo. Paano kung sabihin kong trip trip lang ako ni Perfi?"Naku! Ang gwapo ni Perfi! Swerte ka kapag naging jowa mo!" Lumapit pa ang isang babae.Ano ba itong mga ito? Gusto lang makasagap ng chismis?"Hindi ko siya boyfriend." I said firmly.Madami pa silang sinabi tungkol sa kgwapuhan ni Perfi pati na rin daw yung mga pinsan niya na wala naman akong pakielam. Buti na lang dumating na si Leley at Roma at himalang nasagap din nila ang balita!Seriously? Kararating lang