I sighed a few times as I stood up at a huge door in front of me as my mind debated whether to open it or not. I could hear the music and laughter of those people behind this door, I composed myself and took another deep breath while gripping the doorknob and turned it but I still don't have the confidence to open it, I clenched my fist and dauntlessly touched the doorknob once again. It isn't my first time going here but right at this moment, I felt like it was.
I understand that I am not welcome inside because, from the very first place, I know that they didn't want me for him anymore, especially her. She loathed me to the point that she would forcefully push me away from her son, but I am still here making myself stupid and fool while hoping that one day, she would finally accept me as her son's girlfriend. I didn't do something for her to despise me this much and I don't have any idea why she hated me. I would have just let her go but she's getting too much.
She even makes up stories that Xander allegedly exchanged me for a woman who is more beautiful, rich, and wealthier than me. To the woman who is more deserving and worthy than a person like me. I violently opened the door of that room to get their full attention, but something caught my attention more. No, not something but someone.
His parents were not around especially Xandra, his older sister. Only his friends and cousins were there, but I didn't pay any attention to that. I just focused on my boyfriend with a girl beside him while they were both busy kissing each other that made me stilled in disbelief.
One of his friends tried to make them stop, and he succeeded as he pointed his pointing finger in my direction. I saw how stunned he was in his seat when he saw me now staring at him without any trace of emotion on my face. He looks at me in horror.
"Surprise." I trailed off as I avert my gaze at the girl beside him and vice versa.
I could hear nothing but my heart beats so fast as if horses were running inside it. Everybody's eyes were on me, but I still don't give a damn. I saw how he shoved the girl away from him as he walked towards me but I halted him right away using my hand.
It hurts. Yes, the pain I feel at these times is too much to bear. But even though it was painful, I didn't show it. I will never let them see me at this state. I will never allow myself to give them a chance to see me weak and vulnerable. To see how affected I am and hurt by what just happened at the same time.
I composed myself once again and gaze at him without any expression that can catch a glimpse on my face.
"Stop." I cut him off. I don't need any explanation from him because what I saw was all enough to realize everything.
I am not a masochist just to ignore the fraud he committed and my mind was closed for his stupid explanations!
"I said stop! Are you deaf or just stupid?" I couldn't stop myself from shouting.
"Hey, miss! What's your problem with my boyfriend? Who are you to yell at him? " the woman he kissed earlier entered.
I sophisticatedly raised my brow and eyed her from head to toe. "Boyfriend huh?" I said as I glared at Xander who was now bent over. "Then he's all yours. After all, you're just a garbage collector, aren't you? "
"How dare you!" She was about to hit me when Xander stopped her from doing so.
"Don't you ever dare lay a hand on her!" Xander exclaimed which made her stilled in disbelief.
"What the hell, babe? I am your girlfriend but you are defending her against me?" She asked bewildered.
"So, you haven't told her yet that you already have a girlfriend which is me? Oh well, it's alright. I don't mind cause I don't care anymore." I gazed at her once more with my head held high. "I am Ynnah Francine Seung, his first love and his girlfriend since our high school days, but now his ex."
"What the hell?" The girl turned to Xander in disbelief. But Xander didn't pay any of his attention to her but to me.
I could see how his eyes went wide after hearing those words from me. "Y-ynnah no-"
"Let's break up. " I finally said before he finishes anything he was about to say as I turned my back to walk away. He was about to run after me but the girl stops him from doing so.
"What the fuck is she talking about?!" I heard the girl exclaimed it before I could finally get out of the room's door.
The moment that I finally came out of that room, the tears that I had been holding back from earlier came out.
So, he's been cheating on me all this time with that bitch behind my back? How dare him? He has the guts to do that fucking bullshit? Did he think I would chase? Fuck him! Not in a million times!
I didn't become foolish and didn't make myself stupid just to be cheated on! I did everything just to make his Mom accept me for him. But I guess, my foolishness will end up here. Right at this moment. Did he assume that I will chase him after he cheated on me? After making me believe that he will never find someone else because he already have me? Never! In his stupidest dreams!
My chest was so heavy when I left that place while my tears were starting to flow again because of the extreme pain that I was feeling right now and at the same time, it rained heavily. I don't care where my feet take me as long as I want to get away from that place. My vision is dimming because of the tears that blocking my sight, and the rain that pouring mercilessly. I look up at the clear dark sky with its raindrops dropping on my face.
Isn't it's odd? Crying under the heavy rain with a heavy heart? It’s like I’m in K-dramas. But K-dramas ended up with a happy ending while my story ends in such a stupid way.
I chuckled at myself nonchalantly while realizing something. I'm totally a fool. I think I was being too silly.
My feet brought me to the park, it was a children's park. There were few people here enjoying the coldness of the raindrops pouring continuously. Some of them were children playing hide and seek while some were chasing each other. My tears dripped even more that you wouldn't notice because of the rain. I miss my childhood days, the ones you have nothing to worry about but studying, homework, and playing games until you get bored. No pains, no grief just pure happiness.
I noticed that I could no longer feel the raindrop on my body even though it was still raining. I look up and realize that there was an umbrella above me. I turned behind and saw the person who owned it. A man with its all-black outfit. I stared at his coal-black lackluster eyes which were he did the same. It's like a black diamond screaming a different kind of beauty despite its dullness.
But I have this weird feeling that those eyes weren't as what it seems to be. It was like a maze that you will lose if you'll stare that much into his gems. But before I lost in his stares I look away immediately and tried to compose myself and let out a deep breath.
"What are you doing? And who are you? " I asked as I recovered from our stares. I also feel a little dizzy and cold.
"It's raining, you shouldn't be here," he said without answering my questions.
I composed myself once again as I give him a why-do-you-care look that he doesn't also get. I wanted to be alone and I hate somebody's presence this time. But I don't want to be rude to him because I know he just wanted to help.
"You know what? You don't have to do this. I can manage myself besides I'm on my way home. " I spoke.
"You look pale, your eyes were tired. You're not okay and you can't go home by yourself. You look sick and anytime by now, you'll collapse. "
My mouth slightly parted.
Is he kidding me? I am just broken.
"You're kidding, right? I'm just broken not sick." I said as I turned my back and was about to walk away but my vision became blurry out of a sudden as I felt my knees wobbled. The last thing I knew was my sight dimmed and my knees haven't supported the body.
Then total darkness.
"Ynnah!" Suddenly, I woke up because of Liza shaking me on the arm to wake me up from my deep sleep.
In my dream. I don't know but since that day I've always been dreaming about the same event that I should have forgotten for a long time.
The breakup that happened to Xander and me, and the mysterious man dressed in black from head to toe with his eyes were as black as a coal. His dull eyes which look like a gem and a confusing path of the unknown.
But all I wonder is why I can no longer remember his face every time I wake up. I only remember his coal-black lackluster eyes and his posture.
Who is he?
Ynnah "Ladies and Gentleman, PAL flight number 143 will be landing in Manila in five minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts when the signal flashes on, this is your flight captain. Have a good day and enjoy your trip, thank you." I was startled when I heard the announcement. I immediately sat up and looked around. They were fastening their seatbelts already so, I did mine too. After fastening my seatbelt, I immediately looked out of the plane window. In just a few minutes, the plane will land on the runway of NAIA airport. I put my hand on my chest and felt it. The pain and misery that I felt before and the fear of going back here to the Philippines are already gone. I am ready. I am ready to live peacefully in this place free from the pain and bitterness of the past. And I am so happy about it. It's been two years. Two years since I left thi
Ynnah I decided to go wander around our subdivision while I didn't know where to go yet. It's been two years since the day I left and a lot had changed in this neighborhood. The alleys, decorations, and all seem to have changed. As I looked around the area, my eyes widened at the image of a man who's now standing not far from me while staring intently at my face seems like he's recognizing me. Xander. I thought as I stared back at him. I almost forgot we're neighbors by the way. Their house is just two corners away from us and it looks like my feet brought me here, opposite the pole with a mini forest not far from their house where we always met before. And it looks like he just came out of the gate. If I was still the same Ynnah two years ago, maybe now, I am still pursuing him everywhere and take good
Ynnah "Ynnah! please.." Goodness! What the hell is he doing!? Does he think I still have plans to get him back? Even if he would going to make an embarrassing scandal here at the Mall, I will never come back to him! "Y-ynnah?" he asked in surprise. "Yeah, it's me... Xander." He blinked a few times, seems like he couldn't believe that after two years our path will cross once again. He hems for a seconds before he spoke. "How are you? It's been a while. I have no information from you after what happened," he said as he bit his lower lip and avoided my gaze. Feeling guilty, huh? "Well-" I flashed a smile towards him that made him ta
Ynnah I stared at him unbelievably. I can't figure out if he's telling the truth or not. I tried to read him but his face was just so blank. How could a stranger know me? Hello? We just met! "Are you kidding me?" I said as I raised my brow and cross my arms at the front of my chest. "No," he replied. This man testing my patience! "Then how? How do you know me? It's impossible that we already met before because I don't remember anything." I said when I realize something. I gaze at him in disbelief. "Are you my stalker or something?" "No.." then he shook his head again. I felt embarrassed at the moment. However, I still don't believe him. He is also weird and strange! Did he just let me stay here so he could just stare at me all day? This man is giving me a cringe. He didn't even bother to tell me his name!
Ynnah "So, what would be our topic?" I asked while crossing my both arms and legs with my prepared notepad and pen that were placed above the table. We are here in the school canteen discussing about what will be our topic in the case study that we will both do. "I like cases about murders and any other crime issues, but that wasn't educational enough so we should think of other recent issues or topics that related to our rights. How about, human rights crisis in the Philippines? Was that fine with you?" he said while scanning his phone. This man was very strange! Does he really like those cases of murders? Goodness! Even a bleeding wound, I am still frightened to look at. "That's fine with me." I said as I jotted down on my notepad about the ideas he had said. "Do you have any social media account? I'll just add you so I can send to you the case link, later." "No, I
Ynnah "Francine!" I get up immediately when someone squealed and shook me by the arm. The moment I opened my eyes, my older brother's face is what I saw forthwith. Fear is written in his eyes. I get my ass up soon as I roamed my eyes around my whole room in so much fear. Dream. "Hey, are you okay?" I shifted my gaze to my older brother who was now sitting next to me while busy stroking my back. "Brother!" I threw myself at him immediately as I cried out of fear. As I hugged my brother, I couldn’t help but look around. I roamed my eyes around my room once again and then my gaze shifted to the glass door. No shadows, no Eros. No one was around except me and my brother. Thank goodness it was all just a dream! "It's okay, princess. Hush now, it's alright," he said soothing me while still caressing my back.
Ynnah "Eros, where do you really intend to take me?" I don't know how many times I have repeated that line since we left the university. And in those few times, I knew he was also annoyed by my unending questions. It's been an hour since we traveled and I still have no idea where he will take me. I took a glimpse of him when he didn't even bother to answer my question. He just stared at the road while his face is dull and no emotions at all. Well, what's new anyway? When I made sure he had no intention of answering my qualm, I just irritatedly leaned against the backrest of the passenger seat while my two arms were wrapped around my chest with my lips protruded when the nightmare from last night popped out on my mind out of a sudden. Is it real? I asked myself and gazed at Eros who was still focused on the road. My dream is so terrible which seems
Ynnah I got up up so early in the morning so I preferred to went to school early than before. Our instructor isn't there yet as there's still thirty minutes before our first period so, I decided to checked our case study on my laptop first and reviewed it, because there might be typos and grammatical errors ahead so, it's better to be certain. And maybe because there are missing and excessive explanations and evidences so it's better to be sure so that we won't have difficulty in explaining later. "Ynnah, are you done with your case study?" asked one of my classmates who had just arrived which I nod in response. "Yep, I just reviewed it. Why?" I asked as my eyes still fixed at my laptops monitor. "When you are done reviewing your case study, can you take it to the Deans office afterwards? Ms. Arado ordered that, and she's also asking your presence," he said and handed me three thick books.