Chapter 1 One Month

(Mia)

Across the restaurant, less than ten feet away, I see him.

Calder Wynn.

My husband.

He sits opposite a blonde woman.

She is smiling, leaning toward him as she speaks, her fingers brushing lightly against his sleeve.

Calder doesn’t pull away.

My fingers tighten around my wine glass.

She tilts her head when she laughs, the soft blue dress clings to her snatched waist.

It’s as if someone has taken my sister, Yara’s, image and recreated her on purpose.

Blue has always been Yara’s favorite color.

I look away before he sees me staring. This is so embarrassing.

Three years ago, Calder was supposed to marry my sister.

On the wedding week, she vanished.

The alliance with the Vincent family and the Wynn family, built on years of negotiations, was suddenly at risk.

So, I became the replacement bride.

I’d crushed on Calder Wynn as a teenager.

I envied my sister who always seemed to get the perfect everything just land in her lap.

This time it was my turn. But I never got the marriage I dreamed of.

I gave up the career I’d spent my entire life earning.

I walked away from the man I was exclusive with.

He saw it on the news and took my job offer in California. He was the second-best architect graduate in our class next to me.

I continue to hope Calder will see me as a woman, not just as Yara’s little sister.

There have been moments, but he always reverts back to treating me as fragile.

My attention drifts back to him. To them. Jealousy burns beneath my skin.

This time… he’s choosing someone.

It makes me feel desperate to show him how I really feel.

She is leaning closer to Calder now, saying something low. He tilts his head toward her. She laughs and glances at me.

“Oh my god! She is rubbing it in your face. I can tell,” my best friend, Lena, accuses.

“It’s just a coincidence, Lena. Bad timing.”

Lena salutes with her glass of wine when the woman looks over again. “Bad timing my ass. I swear, I will cut a bitch…”

“Honestly,” Lena says, “if it were me, I’d have done something reckless by now.”

I glance at her. “Like what?”

“Shoot your shot. Seduce him. You have nothing to lose.”

“Have you seen the women he dates? He’d laugh me out of the room.”

“Yes, and they all look like Yara, and newsflash for ya, so do you.” She grins like she’s just discovered the secret to life.

“Except I’m a foot shorter, wear glasses and not a size two.”

“I’m more geek than chic,” I say.

“Contact lenses and that midnight blue dress hugging those curves is all you need. Trust me.”

“Are you stupid? The last damn thing I need is him having sex with me because I remind him of her,” I say.

“You’ve been celibate for three years! The least he owes you is a bunch of big O’s.”

A thrill races through me. “I don’t see what that solves if he still rejects me the next day…”

She leans closer. “Hell, your dignity as a woman for one thing. Get him drunk. Have hot sex. Done deal.”

“No, I don’t want him like that,” I say. “I want him to want me.”

Lena sighs. “You’re impossible. It’s just sex. Do him and get him out of your system.”

“Not if he’s imagining being with Yara.” 

“At least be honest about your feelings. This pretending stuff gets to you,” Lena tells me.

She’s right. I hate it when he’s being attentive and loving in public to me and I know it’s all an act.

“We didn’t come here to dissect my mistakes. You said you wanted to ask me something?”

“The architectural design competition… Will you partner with me? Registration cuts off thirty days before it launches. Tomorrow is the last day.”

“I’m not sure I’m up for it.”

“Mia. If we win, we join an elite team in Paris. One month from now. We’d be the youngest to ever win it.” Her eyes shine with excitement. “But I can’t do it without you.”

“I’d have to live overseas if we win. Cal will definitely use that as an excuse for a divorce.” 

“So what? It’s time you took control back of your own life. You can’t live like this forever.”

She is right about that.

I watch them again.

He is listening to the blonde woman as if nothing else in the world exists.

“…Alright,” I say. “I’m in. Let’s be the youngest to win that competition!”

***

That night, I’ve just finished showering when I hear the front door open.

I pull on my oversized hoodie and track pants. Put my glasses on and put my hair in a towel wrap.

I look at my reflection.

Damn it. I let my hair loose, dry it partially with the blow dryer and find the midnight-blue dress.

I team it with low heels, so I don’t end up sprawled on the floor. I take off my glasses.

I can’t see a thing, so I put them back on again.

He is standing by the window, city lights outlining his tall frame.

“Mia… We should talk about this marriage.”

The dread pools in my stomach.

“I need to move on. You need your life back,” he continues.

“Is it because of the woman you had dinner with today?” I ask.

Calder finally turns toward me. “Perhaps.”

Why can’t he be straight with me? “Wow.”

He looks genuinely shocked at my sarcasm. “Mia—”

“You’re leaving me because you found another woman who reminds you of my sister enough to make you feel something.”

“That is not what this is.”

“Do you have any idea what you have done to me?” I ask.

“I haven’t done anything to you.”

“Really?” I ask. “You take other women to dinner. You sleep with them.”

He frowns but I’m not stopping now.

“The media compare them to Yara. Compare me. Rank us. Pick apart my face, my curves, my clothes, my glasses…”

“Mia.”

“I read what they say.” My voice rises. “I’m the idiot sister who stayed when the one you actually wanted disappeared.”

“You’re over-reacting.”

“No! I loved you, Calder. I still love you. Why don’t I get a chance?”

“You know why.”

“Do I?” I plant my hands on my hips. “Why can’t you say it?”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

“I am so tired of you making me feel like some sexless glass ornament while you bed every skinny, blonde-haired, blue-eyed female that crosses your path.”

His face changes. He’s angry now.

“Why do you have to overcomplicate this now? I did not sign up for this.”

“And I did not sign up to be made feel lesser either.”

“This is just stupid. I thought you’d be happy I was ending early,” he roars.

“God forbid you think of anyone but yourself and your needs for a millisecond.” I yell as I throw my arms into the air.

“You need to calm down,” he demands.

Like those words ever make anyone calm down.

“I feel pathetic.”

“I can’t help how you choose to feel,” he says.

 I glare at him. “I feel stupid for still wanting you when you’ve made it obvious I’m not a woman to you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then prove it.” The words come out before I can stop them.

His eyes lock on mine.

“I’m done acting grateful because of the crumbs you offer.”

I swallow and keep going because if I stop now, I’ll die of shame.

“I want the whole damn loaf, Calder! You owe me something!”

“That is a ridiculous request…” he spits the words back at me.

My voice shakes, but I don’t back off.

“I gave up everything for this marriage. My career. My relationship. My future. My dignity.”

He angrily paces away from me and then back. “What?! What can I possibly do?”

“Give me one month. Make me feel seen as a woman. Your woman.”