Awkwardly I knocked and awaited her approval."Come in." Her soft voice was domineering.I gently let myself in, shutting the door after me. I glanced around the cream colored room, everything was impeccable; neat and well arranged.
"Sit." A one command that made me subconsciously glance around for her white leather sofa and reluctantly sit on it.I tapped my hands against my thighs and waited for her words or rather, contemplated confronting her for going through my stuff. Or maybe you shouldn't. She's your mother and she has every right to you know. Along with that, I couldn't help but scoff.
"You got what you wanted, didn't you?" Those words came out sooner than I could process them and take them back.
She gently put down her tea cup on her saucer then placed the saucer on her silver tray before lowering it on to the nightstand. Her lids fluttered as she stared at me in an intense yet different manner. "Your lack of a filter really lets you speak your mind." It sounded more like she was commending my insolence. Wasn't she always against my wild tongue?
You're probably let the sarcasm slip by you. True.
I rose a brow at her, finding it really strange. Her eyes traced the outline of the bandages wrapped around my hands."Are they better now?" Though not soft but the care was noticed. Since when was she ever tender and well nice?
I glanced at my bandages and reverted my gaze to hers, "they're healing. I'd be taking them off tomorrow."She smiled briefly and finally turned to her firm tone. "Your grandmother requested she visits."I furrowed my brows. She didn't have to tell me, it sounded almost like she was asking for my approval. Since when did she start informing me about her arrivals before time? "So?"She smiled again, "your nineteenth birthday is in a months time and well, by virtue of her being a dutches and I her daughter, which made you her grandson, you will have to be going over to Germany, to her homeland to honor a festival." She explained. "Oscar won't be coming with you, he has a job offer at New Orleans that he has accepted. He intends to leave by the months end." She straightened the rumples on the silk bed spread as she spoke. She appeared to be busying herself rather than face me. Was that how much I irritated her?
Sitting quietly, I tried to comprehend her vague words. I knew there was a reason for her change in manner of approach. "So?" I asked in an agitated, impassive tone."She'd be taking you with her. She requested I let you know." She finished like she didn't just sign me off to something I'm yet to understand."I have an exam in a week, I can't go." I said as plainly as ever."She'd be taking you immediately after your exam." Wait what? She's definitely not joking."So you just decided on my behalf, huh?" I scoffed.
I really love my grandmother but Germany is not just for me. Her homeland just isn't for me. There are weird uncles and the relatives just don't end. There are so many procedures to very simple stuff, so much that it's torture. I prefer her visiting than me visiting her. But then she knows I hate Germany so why is she taking me with her?
Without a word more, I left and headed for my room. I shut the door behind me and sat on my bed. I hate Germany, why does my mother always have to make such decisions for me? Don't my opinions matter?
In my moment of silence, I heard a tap on the window and furrowed my brows. Probably the breeze. I shrugged it off and put a hand over my face. It was 6am in the morning. Great, a full six hours of drama. It's hard to believe that all that drama consumed such a huge amount of time. Shit!
My eyes snapped open as the cold breeze touched my face. I stared at the risen sun and sighed. Another heart warming sunrise, it's another day of 'family'. Far into the rose bushes, my eyes caught sight of something. My brows moulded into a frown as I adjusted my gaze deeper, that's when I was greeted with a sight that made me lose my balance.
Oh no! Fuck me!
The Green dull eyes landed on mine and a smile spread across her face. "Hey pretty boy." She mouthed to me in the most nonchalant way, like she hadn't just snuck into a building and can actually be arrested if my parents saw her.
What on earth is she doing here? How did she get in? But most importantly, get her the fuck out of there before anyone sees her!
My eyes widened when she waved at me. Was she trying to get herself killed? How did she get past the security system? "What are you doing here?" I mouthed to her in an infuriated manner. If she was trying to get me killed then she's definitely on the right track.
She smiled and looked around, making sure no one was around. She waved her gloved hands at me, signalling me to come out. Where did she get those biker gloves from? But they do look worn out.
Really? Right now?
Definitely I needed to get her out of here. I really shouldn't have talked to her again, now look at me being nearly screwed. "Leave!" I mouthed it word for word.She pointed her hands at my window, meaning for me to look down. I did, and all I saw were stones wrapped in paper, thrown into my room, lying on the floor.
So that's where the tapping was from? Wait what? She has to be joking. What if she broke something? Is she crazy? Probably.
I picked a paper and unwrapped it.
Hey, you alright? I heard shouting.
I picked another one and unwrapped it.
Hope it's not because you were out late with me. Sorry for keeping you out late with me.
I found myself being impressed by her neat and beautiful handwriting. How unorthodox of her convey her message through wrapped papers. So she cares? Perhaps she does.
I picked another stone and unwrapped the paper around it.
Look, I'm sorry if your people got mad at you because of me. I feel bad already, I don't think I can sleep knowing that I put you in trouble.
Put me in trouble? What on earth? I was the one who chose to stay out late. It amuses me that she's trying to take the blame or at least play the sympathetic card when I was the one who snuck out first. She says it like she's the one who called me out. How funny. I found myself chuckling at her reasoning and the unfolding morning drama. I was crouched on the floor as I stared at the stones and sucked in my left cheek, while I stole a long gaze at the window before heading to the mini door where I keep my personal cleaning supplies.
I took my broom and cleaned up, packing up my trash in to a dirt bag. I took my cell phone and headed down the stairs and to the kitchen. Luckily my parents were still asleep and the kitchen was empty because Bernard was probably cleaning other rooms upstairs. Under the guise of disposing my trash, I headed towards the garden to find that little girl.
"Took you long enough. So you're not dead? I guess I really shouldn't be keeping you out so late; so cheers to shorter conversations?" She started before she turned and began staring at me."Firstly, why are you here and how did you get in? Secondly, you've got some nerve trying to breaking my glass with your stones and thirdly, quit it with the guilt-ridden act already. Stop acting like a heroine in a movie." I rasped. I hated talking in the morning because I always sounded like a freak and I really could care less as about how messed up I looked at the moment. Plus, it's quite unethical to speak in the morning without brushing. Goodness me.
"Look, I kinda stuck around after you left and well, I–uh got worried when I heard the screams. That's all.""This finely constructed sentence is much more acceptable than those unfit words you pieced together." I said while dragging her out before someone sees her.
"That's not a fine way to treat someone who was worried about you." She said will fussing around."I never asked you to." I curtly replied."Quit the tough amour rich boy, we've both seen our desperate side so drop the act and admit you appreciate me caring." She said feeling proud of herself.
If I had a gun, I would have shot a clean bullet straight into the middle of her forehead and if I were a psychopath, I would have snuffed the life out of her with my bare hands.
I turned to her and with a raised brow and scrutinizing stare, finally said, "Like I said, I never asked you to." I led her out of the gate and a few meters down the street."You know, you sure do like playing tough." Was she mocking me? Yes Eldse, yes she was."That's none of your business." I snapped."You're prickly. You should appreciate when someone cares.""Please leave." I rubbed my temple, hating that I began my morning with a troubling dramatic episode while looking like shit."I hung around the enter night worried and this is the thanks I get?" She asked."I never asked you to Flare." I pointed out."You didn't expect me to just walk away after you poured out your problems and pain, did you? How's your hand by the way?""You shouldn't have, what happened was my moment of weakness which I'd like you to forget. And thanks for asking about it, it's healing." I said, gesticulating my hands towards the road."Why?" She asked, tucking her roughly scattered hair behind her ear. She needs a brush. She probably hasn't had a bath. I doubt she's had one this morning. I sighed at the weakening and distracting thoughts my mind was feeding me.
"Because we're not friends. Just because we have conversations twice does not make us friends." I snapped. Please just go away!
As harsh as that might have sounded, it was the truth. I don't consider her as friend. Friends trust each other and so far I don't trust her.
Are you really sure?
I was losing my temper, along with my mind. My family is killing me and this girl just wants to be my death stroke. This was definitely a bad morning. I've had enough drama for one morning. I hate the fact that she's trying to act like she cares about what I needed.
With a weary look, her green eyes pierced my soul. I could see it, the mixture of hurt, disappointment and more hurt. I totally deserve the title of a jerk at this point for hurting her but all I said was the truth.
The look was quickly replaced with a small smile. A hurt smile. Quietly, she dropped her hands to her side and wearily balled her fists. They were twitching. She looked at the neat ground and back at me. "I–uh, I–uh should leave. I just wanted to check up on you. Uh, I'm sorry... Kinda have a–alot to do so um, bye." She ended with a small smile and proceeded to leave.
I closed my eyes, feeling her walk past me. I know what I said hurt her and she's expecting me to drop an apology any moment but I can't. We can't be friends, we aren't friends and I don't think we ever would. I'm sorry flare if I got your hopes up.
"Oh um, good luck on your exam. I hope you get in. I couldn't go to college and I'm excited and happy that you finally got your wish. Don't forget to be a good boy and make your choices... Rich boy." She said in the softest tone. It sounded cracked. Was she trying to suppress her hurt feelings?
I stood, closing my eyes. I should turn, I know I should but then again why should I? Say something? I wanted to, I swear I did but I didn't. I just headed in the opposite direction. Good bye flare. God I'm such a jerk.
I headed home and found myself on my bed in a matter of minutes. I was angry, very angry at myself. I rubbed my forehead, sliding my hair back in frustration. I did something mean to her, she was the ear that listened to me though I hate to admit it.
My eyes landed on the picture lying on the bed and an exhausted smile escaped my throat. I needed to sort out the curiosity I had. You could ask your grandmother about it, after all, your mother does tell her everything. Since she's coming over tomorrow, it's the perfect opportunity.
Indeed it was. I needed answers and those answers I'd find. But firstly, you've got an exam to study for. Prove him wrong that you're not a failure, you're just as good as Oscar Emilio.
Great, now I'm calling myself Emilio. I found the papers which Flare has sent to me at the other side of my bed and I bit my lip. I packed them up and though wanting so badly to crumple them and dispose of them, I threw them inside my book and locked it up.
I grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom. I stripped and stood in front of the mirror, glaring at the scar across my left breast and the little red cuts on my hand. They're healing thanks to the drugs doctor Ria had prescribed for me. I brushed my teeth and got under the shower.
I had a million thoughts running through my mind, threatening to tear my sanity apart but control is all I needed to rule my demons. All I needed was control over my emotions and thoughts.
Part of your anger is because of Flare, isn't it? Yes, it is. I hated the fact that she saw my vulnerability and I hated the fact that I let her see it. I lacked control over myself. I'd control myself, I will. The steam clouded the glass cubicle. The only sound heard was the droplets of water coming from the shower and my hot breaths. I combed a hand through my hair, closing my eyes as I let the water cleanse me, rid me of my negative energy.
"Young master, breakfast is ready. They demand your presence downstairs." Bernard informed me as he let himself in after a knock.I stood shirtless in front of him, nodding and urging him to leave. Instead he came forward."The young lady that invaded the premises today–"
I turned my neck so fast I got a cramp. What did he just say? I rubbed my sore neck as I stared at him. So he saw her, how nice. Who else saw her?"She's lucky the Gardner came in late..." Indeed she was. That man would have snitched her the second his eyes land on her. As for the body guards, I'm disappointed. If such a little girl could sneak in, that means a threat can as well just walk right through. "I'd have a word with them but be rest assured I won't tell the master and his Mrs. But I'd warn you about her carrying out such a stunt again. She's lucky I was the only one who saw her, and I doubt your parents know. If she tries it again, I doubt luck will be so kind to her." He said precise and careful, in a low tone.
I rubbed my neck, feeling myself becoming a little calm. If my parents had seen her, I'd be dead before I could offer an explanation. Her appearance will seal my fate before the others. "Thank you." I said in a cool tone.
He hummed before clearing his throat again. "Might I ask?""About?" I rose a suspicious brow at him."Who is she? She doesn't seem quite prim and proper. She doesn't seem like a lady but more like a girl. Though I'd like to add that her beauty is refined and quite striking. Such a raw, rare find." Was he just speaking raw truth in daggers and candy. A compliment after an insult; how so much like Bernard."Just someone." I shrugged it off."She's quite a character, she stayed in all night." He added"You saw her the whole time?" I asked."Indeed. She appeared to be waiting for you. Though judging from her dressing, she's not of class." He stood with his hands behind him, eyes trained on the contents on my table.
"She has class, she just wasn't born in the manner that she deserved." I said. I turned to him, "shall we?""Of course young master. Right after you."
The room was immersed in wholesome silence. The only sound heard was the slight grazing of the fork against the plate one in a while.My eyes stayed glued to the fork in my hand, my breathing was weirdly slow, unlike usual. My tongue played in my dry mouth as my mind drifted back to Flare, my conversation with her today, her hurt look on her face, her notes. I didn't over do it, did I?My mind drifted further down memoryville as echoes of her laughter, flashes of her smile and flashes of my own smile when I was with her. There was sincere peace in my eyes when I was with her. I could voice out and not feel judged. I could drop the whole trying to be the perfect kid born to classy parents.But it was for the best. I was way out of her league. And for my status, I'm actually still shit. I'm anything like the regal rich kids you see. All proper and perfect. I was the direct opposite in crucial ways.
The library was huge and a little occupied. People sat around with books in front of them. Finding the library wasn't hard once I had my G****e map turned on.I made my way to the lady sitting at the front desk. Her eyes glanced up to mine as she pressed her lips together tightly. "How can I help you sir?" She politely asked while silently ogling me.I rolled my eyes. Of course I had some reckless manly charm, but the ogling wasn't necessary. It put me in an uncomfortable mood. Reasons why I personally don't go out. I dislike the stares because apparently I stuck out like a sore thumb.I adjusted my nose mask and replied, "uh, historian books please. And British poetry. Also, some books on psychology would be appreciated." I briefly said. "Oh, right this way then." She smiled at me and left her post, beckoning on me to follow her, which I did with my hands stuffed in my pan
My throat immediately went dry as I lowered my face, bringing it close to the textbook on the table. I trailed him from the corner of my eyes, talking to the lady behind the front desk. No doubt he was asking of me.I didn't do anything wrong, I just went to the library. Was visiting a library a crime now? I closed my eyes and secretly put on my nose mask. If he's going table by table, then it would take a while till he reaches my table. I quietly stood up, packed my books into the crook of my arm and began walking away as unsuspecting as possible. "Hey. Hey. Hey. Excuse me, where are you going?" I heard her ask. I ignored her, increasing my pace while trying to stealthily leave without him noticing. I had a hand stuffed in the pocket of my coat, eyes lowered till I made it out of the door.I made my way down the stairs and contemplated stopping a cab. Would you want to walk and get caught? Wouldn't even matter s
It was two days to my exam and I haven't exactly seen my parents. I rarely left my room. I really did want to prove to him that I can get accepted into Harvard. I'm not a dummy.I sighed, extremely tired and tensed. I needed a break from everything. My toxic self and the toxic environment. I haven't seen Oscar since my outburst. I heard that he was going to be back in a week which I couldn't wait for. I needed to ask him about the picture. But all aside, I needed fresh air. Outside air.I got up and pulled on my maroon coloured hoodie and black Joggers. I had a band worn across my hair to keep my hair slinged back. I grabbed my black nike slides and put them on. I pulled on my hoodie and quietly slipped out of my room.Everywhere was silent, which implied everyone was asleep and it was perfect for me to slip out into the darkness. I had no where in mind, I just wanted to walk around, under the night sky with
I turned off the shower, cursing inwardly with my deep breaths echoing in my bathroom. It's been a week since the incident and though every part of me was wishing for it to be all a dream, it was a real as the water dripping from me. I had kissed her. I freaking shouldn't have but what frustrated me the most was the fact no matter how hard I've tried to regret it, I couldn't. It was too fucking nice.What if she had some kinda disease? Herpes? I shunned my thoughts because I was running crazy. I had been thinking about her before because I had felt bad for saying all I did to her, but now, it's entirely different. All my mind kept drifting to was her lips, her touch, her sensual voice, the way my body came alive burning with reactions that I didn't even know existed in me.It wasn't my first time of being kissed. I had been kissed a lot in middle school and a couple times in high school. I avoided girls and everything dramatic.