Something’s wrong.

I knew something was wrong with Josh and I couldn’t figure it out, but the way I felt how my chest rose, that I hadn’t experienced in a few years, made me scared.

I’d never thought I’d love again, not after Jeonghan. I wasn’t even entirely certain if I would love another man like the way I love him, but I did, with Josh. He made me happy, incredibly happy. I could honestly just have him next to me, doing nothing and I’d be contented.

But last night, I wanted to make him happy, I mean happier than he was with me before. I was willing to give him what we both wanted and needed last night but I was so shocked when he suddenly stopped. I was a bit disappointed but I didn’t show it to him. We just lay in silence, neither of us saying anything. But then he came closer and gathered me in his arms, whispered I’m sorry and I love you.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his chest, bathed in the warmth of him, and whispered I love you too. Trying to understand
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