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37 Times You Called My Name
37 Times You Called My Name
Author: Xiper

•001

Author: Xiper
last update publish date: 2026-06-23 01:19:21

MIA POV

The second I burst through the arena doors, I know I’ve made a terrible mistake. But it’s too late. My notebook is in Ryder Vaughn’s hands, and the entire Lakewood Wolves hockey team plus half the school is already watching.

“Give it back, Ryder!” I scream, my voice echoing off the high ceilings like a desperate animal.

The warm-up music dies. Skates scrape to a halt. Every head turns toward center ice where Ryder stands like a god among mortals—tall, broad, helmet off, dark hair messy and damp. That signature cocky grin stretches across his stupidly perfect face as he flips through my private notebook.

“Oh my God, listen to this everyone!” he shouts, loud enough for the bleachers to hear. “Chapter one of Mia Thompson’s sad little p**n diary: ‘I can’t stop thinking about Ryder’s hands on me. Rough. Possessive. Making me beg even though I’m still a—’”

He pauses dramatically, eyes widening in fake shock.

“Still a virgin!” he announces, drawing out the word like it’s the funniest punchline in history. “Our sweet little Mia is writing smut about me popping her cherry!”

Laughter explodes across the arena. Phones fly up. Someone whistles. A group of cheerleaders near the glass doubles over, pointing at me.

My stomach drops. Heat floods my face so fast I feel dizzy. I want to die. Right here on the ice.

“Stop it!” I yell, stepping onto the slick surface in my stupid sneakers. My feet slide immediately. “That’s private! You have no right!”

Ryder skates closer, slow and lazy, twirling my notebook between his fingers like a toy. He’s enjoying this way too much. His teammates circle around us like sharks smelling blood.

“Aww, come on, Mia-Mia,” he says in that sing-song voice he knows I hate. “Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here. Tell the truth—do you touch yourself while writing this garbage about me? Do you moan my name when you—”

“Ryder, please,” I choke out, voice breaking. Tears burn my eyes but I blink them back furiously. I will not cry in front of him. Not again.

He stops right in front of me, towering over my 5’4” frame in all his padded gear. Up close, his blue eyes are bright with pure mischief and something meaner underneath.

“Begging already? That’s quick. Usually girls wait until I actually touch them.” He leans down, voice dropping just enough for me to hear the next part. “Though with you, I might need to lower my standards.”

The arena erupts again. Someone shouts, “Burn!” Another laughs, “She’s so red!”

I lunge for the notebook.

Ryder yanks it high above his head, laughing as I slip and nearly crash onto the ice. My arms flail. He catches my wrist with his free hand, gripping hard enough to bruise.

“Clumsy little virgin,” he taunts, loud again. “Can’t even stand on ice without falling for me. How are you gonna handle it when I finally fuck you like you keep begging for in these pages?”

He shakes the notebook open and starts reading again, louder this time, voice dripping with mockery:

“‘His mouth would feel so good between my legs. I wonder if he’d be gentle for my first time or just take what he wants—’”

“Shut up!” I scream, yanking my wrist free. The tears spill over now. I can’t stop them. My whole body shakes with humiliation and rage. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

Ryder’s grin only widens, delighted by my breakdown. He tosses the notebook behind him. One of his teammates catches it and starts flipping through more pages, reading bits aloud to the others. They howl with laughter.

“Aw, don’t cry, Mia-Mia,” Ryder coos, fake-pouting. He reaches out and roughly wipes a tear from my cheek with his gloved thumb, the gesture almost tender if it wasn’t so cruel in front of everyone. “It’s cute. Really. Pathetic, but cute. Like a lost puppy humping my leg.”

I slap his hand away. Hard.

The arena goes quiet for half a second—then explodes with even louder cheers and “Oooohs!”

Ryder’s eyes flash with something dangerous. He steps closer, crowding me until I have to crane my neck to glare up at him. His voice turns low and venomous, but he makes sure it still carries.

“You know what’s really funny?” he says. “You actually think I’d ever want someone like you. Plain. Awkward. Still untouched at seventeen like some scared little prude. Keep dreaming in your diary, virgin. The only way I’d touch you is if I was bored and wanted to ruin you for fun.”

My chest caves in. The words hurt worse than any shove or trip he’s ever pulled. Because deep down, some stupid part of me still wants him. The boy he used to be before he became this monster.

I shove him with both hands. He doesn’t budge an inch.

“Stay away from me,” I whisper, but my voice trembles.

Ryder laughs, loud and obnoxious. “Too late for that, Mia. You wrote my name thirty-seven times. Thirty-seven! You’re obsessed.”

He skates backward a few feet, arms spread wide like he’s performing for the crowd.

“Listen up, Wolves fans! If anyone sees Mia touching herself while thinking about me, please report back. I like knowing my charity cases are staying dedicated!”

The entire place loses it.

I stand there frozen, tears streaming, sneakers soaked from the ice, my most humiliating secrets broadcast to the entire school. Ryder blows me a mocking kiss, then turns and skates away like he didn’t just destroy me in front of everyone.

But as he joins his teammates, I catch him glancing back once.

Not laughing anymore.

Just watching.

Like the game between us has only just begun.

And I have no idea how I’m going to survive him.

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  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •018

    MIA POV The victory over Jax and the others felt hollow by the next morning. I woke up in Ryder’s bed again, his body curled protectively around mine, one arm locked across my waist like even in sleep he refused to let me go. Sunlight streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his penthouse, painting the room in soft gold. It should have felt peaceful. Instead, my chest tightened with the familiar mix of shame and dark craving that had become my new normal.I tried to slip out of bed without waking him. His arm tightened instantly.“Stay,” he murmured, voice gravelly. His eyes opened, blue and intense, locking onto mine with that possessive hunger I both feared and needed. “We’re not done celebrating yet.”Before I could protest, he rolled me beneath him, settling between my thighs. He was already hard, pressing against me. I gasped as he pushed inside in one smooth thrust, filling me completely. The stretch was perfect, almost too much. I arched into him, nails digging into h

  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •017

    MIA POV The silence from the old teammates lasted exactly three days.I woke up on the fourth morning wrapped in Ryder’s arms, his body warm and solid against mine. For the first time in weeks I felt almost safe. Almost. His hand rested possessively on my hip, thumb stroking lazy circles even in sleep. I traced the lines of his jaw, wondering how the boy who once made me cry on a school floor had become the only person who could make me feel whole.He stirred, blue eyes opening to find mine. “Morning, Mia-Mia.”The nickname still sent a shiver through me — part fear, part dark pleasure. I kissed him before I could overthink it. He responded instantly, rolling me beneath him, sliding inside me with one smooth thrust. We moved together slow and deep, no counting this time, just raw connection. I came whispering his name. He followed with a groan that sounded like surrender.Afterward, he held me close, fingers playing with my hair. “I could get used to this.”“Me too,” I admitted softl

  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •016

    MIA POVThe new message changed everything.I stared at my phone the next morning while Ryder made coffee in the kitchen. *This isn’t over. We have more than videos.* The words burned into my brain. Ryder had promised the team was handled. Clearly they lied.He set a mug in front of me, noticing my expression. “What is it?”I showed him. His jaw tightened. “They’re testing how far I’ll go.”Fear twisted in my gut. “What if they have something worse?”Ryder pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. “Then I destroy them completely. No one threatens what’s mine.”The possessiveness should have scared me. Instead it sent heat through my body. I was getting used to being his. Craving it. The wrong man had become my only safe place.We went to the office together. His hand stayed on my lower back the entire way. When we reached his suite, he locked the door and backed me against it immediately.“Need you,” he growled, hiking my skirt up.I didn’t fight it. I wrapped my legs aroun

  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •015

    MIA POV Morning light hit Ryder’s penthouse like a spotlight on my shame. I woke tangled in his sheets, his arm heavy across my waist, body sore in ways that reminded me exactly what I’d done. I had let him inside me. Let the man who once broke me become the only thing holding me together.I tried to slip out of bed. His arm tightened.“Stay,” he murmured, voice rough with sleep.“I can’t.” I pulled away and grabbed his discarded shirt from the floor, pulling it on like armor. “Last night was a mistake.”Ryder sat up, the sheet falling to his hips. Even half-asleep he looked dangerous. “You came three times screaming my name. Doesn’t feel like a mistake.”Heat flooded my face. I turned away, walking to the window. The city looked the same, but I was different. Ruined in the best and worst way. Sparrow’s heroines always woke up regretting the wrong brother until the regret turned into addiction. I felt that shift happening inside me and it terrified me.A phone buzzed on the nightstan

  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •014

    MIA POV The elevator ride to the top floor felt like a trap closing. Ryder stood beside me in his perfect suit, one hand resting possessively on my lower back. Anyone looking would see a powerful CEO and his new assistant. Only I felt the weight of his fingers like a brand. “You’re shaking,” he murmured as the doors opened. “Because I’m walking back into the place where you own everything. Including me.” He didn’t deny it. Just guided me into his suite and closed the door. The lock clicked. My pulse spiked. “Work first,” he said, but his eyes said something else entirely. “Then we deal with the new message.” The teammate threat. The demand for a “live” video. It sat like poison in my veins. I sat at my desk inside his office and tried to focus on emails, but every sound made me jump. Ryder worked across from me, watching me more than his screen. An hour later, his phone buzzed. He read the message and his expression turned deadly. “They sent proof,” he said. “A clip from the

  • 37 Times You Called My Name    •013

    MIA POV I woke to the sound of the bedroom door opening. Ryder stood in the doorway, shirtless, sweatpants low on his hips, holding two coffees like this was normal. Like he hadn’t spent the night on my couch after making me come twice the day before. “You locked the door last night,” I said, sitting up and pulling the sheet higher. “You didn’t.” His voice was rough with sleep. He set a coffee on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. Too close. The mattress dipped under his weight. “That tells me everything I need to know.” Heat crawled up my neck. Sparrow’s heroines always fought until the fight felt like foreplay. I was doing the same thing — pretending I hated him while my body remembered every second of his fingers inside me. “I was tired,” I lied. Ryder’s hand landed on my blanket-covered thigh. Not moving. Just resting there like a claim. “You were scared. And wet. And hoping I’d test that lock.” I shoved his hand off. He caught my wrist and brought it to his mou

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