Honest Remarks

Zannie was slightly conscientious. To think that Howie would curl up while sleeping in the cold outside seems excessive and cruel if considered. "Can you sleep here outside?"

Howard smiled again. “How about you? Can you bear to see me sleeping here outside? I'll have a hard time and I'll be very cold. Jacob said that you should be kind to me." 

There was a mixture of sarcasm in the tone of Howard's words. On his side, he must show that Zannie's behavior is still understandable. That was Jacob's order, he needed to befriend her so that his grades would not be dropped in the evaluation. And he found out here that Zannie is also in Trias, it's just for Jacob because they were also talking last month.

"Oh go ahead, you're just there in our barracks," Zannie was forced to reply. As for her, she should still be kind to Howard because he might complain to Jacob and claim that she’s mistreating him.

"All right."

They were walking quietly toward the barracks when Zannie suddenly stepped on the muddy lawn. She was almost out of balance and would fall into the mud but Howard caught her quickly. She let go of the umbrella she was holding when she felt his hands on her waist because of his unintentional involvement with her.

Then suddenly, everything seemed to stop. The incredible voltage of electricity seemed to creep into Zannie. She then looked up at Howie, they had been staring at each other for a long time and they didn't realize they had been soaked in the heavy rain.

'My God. I was saved from almost slipping in the mud, I don't think I would be saved if I fell on this man.'

It took almost one minute for them to come back to their senses.

‘I'm not a limp but I always slip when Howie is there. I'm disgusted huh!’ she said only in her mind.

“Be careful while you’re walking here. What if you get injured when no one is around? Don’t make me feel worried about you,” Howard advised while shuddering. He balanced himself and then picked the umbrella from the ground to hand it back to Zannie.

“Go to your place, I will try to look for another spot here. Or maybe, I will stay in the vehicle like I did a few nights ago,” Howard advised.

“No. I will just allow you to sleep in my barracks. Lucille is also there. Medicines aren’t for us so if you get sick, you won’t be prioritized by those medical staff here— even if you’re flirting with that beautiful nurse,” Zannie answered in a straightforward manner.

“I’m not flirting with her. She’s just nice to chat with because she’s intelligent. That’s it,” Howard clarified. Zannie didn’t give a response to it.

***

It was twelve midnight but Zannie was still awake. Her strange feelings make her even more confused when Howard is around. She is already thinking about the possibility that she may have an attraction for the young man.

"It’s not allowed!" It was almost audible as far as the other barracks her voice when uttering a word she should have just thought of. Fortunately, there was no noise in her mouth. Somehow, she felt relieved how she managed not to speak something from her mind.

She was next to Lucille on the same bed and apart from the fact that she was not very comfortable sleeping because the pallet was small that limited her movement, she was even more restless because Howard was on the empty pallet. She had trust issues with this man, she was thinking about the unforgettable first meeting between them. Why can't it be erased from her mind? She can’t deny the fact that it gave her a sudden feeling of being enthralled. She was like being touched by the fire that came from nowhere because of that moment.

She had the urge to check if Howard was already sleeping. She saw how he curled on the little pallet. And the gentle face of the man while he was asleep was the reason why she could not sleep soundly.

‘Maybe I can also wish God that it would be easy to sleep when drowsy like Lucille.’

She sighed. She pondered again about the evaluation and she hasn’t done it yet. When she finally hands the evaluation to Jacob, Howard will be sent back to Manila immediately and he will also return to be the CEO of his company. The only thing Zannie could do now was to rummage through the evaluation form hidden inside her bag. She wrote only 'not so good' remarks to Howard but every day when they are together, she sees the positive side of the young man.

'Number one: Rate 1 to 5, how the trainee approaches people around him.'

Zannie recorded only negative comments. She also included how they first met Howard. And she can't deny, that part is embarrassing.

"I need to erase it. I think I sent too much anger when I wrote this. I shouldn’t let my emotions control the pen that I’m holding right now."

She found herself crumpling the evaluation sheet. She repeated the evaluation. And she promised herself that she will do it neatly with brevity so that tomorrow, she would deliver it to Jacob and she would never think of other things aside from her own plans after the mission in this place as a humanitarian volunteer..

"When I finish this, I won't think about anything. When I get back to Manila, I'll forget about you too Jacob. I'll accept that we're not really for each other."

But as of now, she knew it wasn't just Jacob who was bothering her, she was fully aware of it. She has a growing interest in Howard and there is also a possibility that when he passes the evaluation to Jacob, they will also part ways with the young man. She would treat this happening like it’s nothing at all.

Zannie just wanted to list the things that improved Howard's socializing while he was still a volunteer at Trias.

1. He became empathetic especially to the children he taught for the first time. He was kind to those children and was always calm to talk to. He told me a quote that was really inspiring. That children can also see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. He is no longer bossy. He is also less passive when speaking.

3. He saved a child and kept him away from almost being hit by a car.

4. He also wakes up early.

5. He is no longer picky about food.

6. He is good at getting along and is willing to act.

7. He pays close attention to the leader's instructions.

8. He is a gentleman who is especially respectful of women.

9. He no longer complains about the tasks assigned to him.

10. He communicates well with his fellow volunteers.

She fell asleep in just two minutes after listing Howard's positive traits, and Howard's assessment sheet served as her pillow.