Chapter 4

RICARDO'S POV

When night fell, Alice left. I had asked Andrew to fetch my car and leave it in the hospital parking lot, although I didn't think about going home. Sitting next to Manuela's bed, all I could think about was the agony of almost not being able to save her. My mother had called me a few times, she was worried about her baby girl. She loved her as her daughter. He had promised Mr. Matias, Manu's father, that he would always take care of her and Andrew. And that's what he did. The two were raised as if they were our brothers. That's why it was so hard to accept what I was feeling. I couldn't go home. Dr. Almeida had called for backup to the hospital and a policeman was standing at the door, but I couldn't leave her alone. She was afraid that bastard would approach her again, and in the state she was in, she couldn't even scream for help. I couldn't stop thinking about her words.

— Mark knew of my interest in a person. He knew I had feelings for him from childhood.

When she looked at me that way, her eyes filled with sadness, I realized right away that she was talking about me. My eyes widened and my mouth went dry. The shortness of breath took on a proportion that made me lose strength. I had to sit down so I wouldn't fall right there in front of her. What was Manu just saying? Who loved me since we were kids? How did I never notice anything? What was I supposed to do with that information, which was confirmed when she spoke my name? I didn't even know what I was feeling. A mixture of absurdly insane feelings. Doubt, fear, desire, relief... What was happening to me? Never felt anything like it before?

When I took Dr. Almeida to the door he alerted me to the seriousness of the case. The policeman had already pulled the element's file and there were other cases of aggression, in addition to a homicide. The bastard had already claimed a victim, a young woman the same age as Manu. I had to control myself as I listened to the lawyer's account. My blood boiled. I was only able to think again when I heard Manu's vital signs change. I ran over to her and saw that her blood pressure had risen a lot. She was in an anxiety attack. I tried to calm her, but her expression was pained. When I picked up the phone to ask for the nurse, Manu jumped out of bed, ripping out the wires from the machines and the IV access. I just had time to catch up to her before she hit the ground. Luckily I managed to catch his head before the damage was done. Her arm was bleeding and she was crying uncontrollably. My girl. How could someone dare to hurt you like that?

I placed her in my arms and felt her rest her head on my chest. All I wanted was to take your pain away. Protect her from that maniac. Manu had awakened a surreal protective feeling in me. I had never felt so vulnerable in front of a woman. Knowing that I could lose her at any moment made me feel such a love for her that I never thought I could. When, at last, she calmed down, overcome by the medication the nurse had given, I touched her face and understood that I was a lucky son of a bitch to have that woman's love.

— Ric, I need to tell you something.— Manu tugged at my shirt. He was groggy and his words were mixed with crying.

— Manu, we'll talk later. Now you need to relax. Close your eyes, my love. I am here!

I couldn't resist seeing her so fragile. I wanted to hug her and kiss her mouth. Making sure I would protect her and that no one would ever hurt her again. My heart had been taken by a surreal love. My fear is that your feeling was a girl's illusion. Something that she projected onto me, having been a friend present in her childhood. Those crazy theories that the child needs protection and therefore fantasizes about Prince Charming, with a white horse, who will save him from danger. What if she realized I'm not her prince anymore? That I'm a man full of flaws like any other? Our age difference was something that worried me. We were at different times in our lives. I didn't know if I could meet her expectations.

It was all so surreal. In less than 48 hours I had discovered that Manuela Banguela was the woman of my life and I could no longer imagine my life without her. Perhaps it was an involvement I had never realized. I don't remember looking at Manu any other way than being my sister's best friend. Perhaps seeing her in that man's hands had awakened that feeling of possession, of protection. This need to take care of her and have her with me. I still couldn't say if that was right or healthy, but at that moment I just wanted to be close to Manu.

I sat next to her, caressing her hand and feeling that my life was lost from that moment on. I watched her calm breathing and felt that nothing was more important than that. I couldn't think of Manuela that way. An uncontrollable desire was rising inside me. I was losing my mind. I couldn't love her. I wasn't prepared to have my heart broken. I had the women I wanted, I enjoyed my youth intensely, but without ever holding me emotionally. It was just sex. Few women aroused any feelings in me, as was the case with Jade. But none invaded my heart with such intensity. Manu was making me rethink having a family again. But she was very young, she was just starting college, she must have had a lot of plans, projects. I don't think I was thinking about getting married, or having kids anytime soon.

Mr. Matias, who had arrived at the hospital in the late afternoon, assured me that he did not know about his daughter's involvement with Mark. Why did she hide this relationship from everyone? Only Alice knew him, and thanks to her we were able to locate his social media. When the police made the reconnaissance and raised the subject's file, we understood why he never introduced himself to her family. He was an escaped criminal.

Mr. Matias left devastated. She blamed herself for her absence from her daughter's life. I understood. I also blamed myself for never realizing what she felt. Maybe my life would have been different and she probably wouldn't have met that guy.

I spent the night on the sofa in the bedroom, imagining different ways to have that conversation with Manu. And I would have been able to prepare myself if she hadn't woken up in the middle of the night, moaning in pain and calling out for my sister.

― Alice?

— She's already gone, Manu! I am here. Don't get up that fast, you're still high — I replied, trying to keep her from getting up and running like before.

— I'm not doped, I'm drunk.

— It's normal what you're feeling. His blood pressure went up a lot. We need to give you strong medicine. You're not used to it.

— I want to go home, my father...— Her voice came out nasal and sleepy. She was confused.

— Your father has been here to see you. He is fine. Do not worry.

— Doctor, what are you doing here? You will take care of me, will you? I need you. Don't leave me alone,— she whispered and tugged at my shirt. It left me completely lost, not knowing how to behave.

— Manu, I'm not leaving here, I promise.— I tried to calm her, but even I couldn't control myself. My desire was to take her in my arms and feel her body next to mine.

 — Lie here beside me, I'm scared. He's going to kill you.— Manu started to cry and I couldn't resist. I lay down carefully next to her and felt her body nestle against mine. Her breathing started to quicken and consequently mine did too.

— Manu, isn't that right?

— What's not right? she lifted her head and asked in a husky voice, so close to my mouth that I could feel the heat of her breath. My heart was beating wildly and sending electrical pulses straight to my cock.­ ― That I love you?

― Fuck, Manu!!!― I couldn't resist and took her mouth with all the desire I'd held back until then. My tongue invaded her with such urgency, as if something could take her from me at any moment. I could hear her breath in my ear as my tongue traveled down to her neck. What was I doing?

― Ricardo! I want you so much.— She dug her fingers into the back of my neck and I felt my whole body tingle. It was the kind of caress that took me off my axis. My cock was throbbing inside my pants, and hearing my name come out of his mouth on a moan made me lose my mind. We were lying on the bed and by then she had her body on top of me. On an impulse I brought my hand up to her ass, exposed by her nightgown, and I could hear the beep speed up. As if slapped in the face to wake her up, I pushed her away from me and climbed out of bed, amid her protests. I tried to straighten her, as I knew the nurse would soon enter the room. I pulled myself together and started to straighten his hair.

— Manuela, listen to me. If you don't calm down I'm going to have to dope you again. Your blood pressure can't go up.

― Your fault for being so hot! She pouted and started to cry.

When the nurse opened the door I motioned for her not to worry, she understood and walked away, closing it then. Manu calmed down and soon went back to sleep. I threw myself on the couch, still baffled by what had just happened. That was not a professional stance. What would my position as an administrator have been if someone had walked in at that time? I couldn't lose control like that anymore. What the fuck do you think you're doing, Ricardo?

I lay down on the couch and tried to relax, but the taste of Manuela was still in my mouth. His panting breath wouldn't leave my mind. I wouldn't be able to sleep. I left the room and asked the policeman to keep an eye out. I went to my office and picked up the backpack of clothes the driver had brought. I went into the bathroom and got under the shower. I started to masturbate remembering Manu's kiss. How I wanted to touch and kiss every part of your body. I intensified the back and forth movement, remembering his voice whispering my name. When the ecstasy arrived, I could barely breathe. Damn Manu! You're killing my sanity.