Chapter 33:

As I walked into his private bathroom, I instantly decided that I was absolutely going to take him up on his offer of a quick shower the second I caught my disheveled appearance in the mirror over the sink. My hair was a wild mess of auburn waves, sticking out at every odd angle in a tangled mess that I was dreading attempting to tame, my blue eyes were bright and lively, probably due to all the excess sleep; my cheeks had far more color than the last time I had looked, bringing out the soft splattering of freckles across my nose and cheeks, but after the subject we had just broached, my lips weren't tipped up in the corners like normal. Instead, they were cast down as his words played through my mind.

'Ari, will you let me in with you?' Nova's soft tone popped into my thoughts. God, I had been so distracted with him this morning that I hadn't even thought to ask if she wanted to shower with me. 

'Of course, I'm sorry.' I told her as I quickly made my way back over to the door, cracking it open for her to push her way in. 

'It's okay, I know there's a lot going on right now.' She replied as I made quick work of stripping down and started the shower. 

I couldn't stop my mind from wandering once more, though, as I stood under the warm spray. Using his soap, I quickly washed as my mind finally settled on the fact that there had been true fear lacing his tone, but the tormented look I had glimpsed in those eyes is what really sealed it. The real question now was what could scare him that badly? 

'His parents, Ari. I know that you don't really know much about the people of the Beastial Kingdom yet, but they have longer lifespans, just like the Fae and Vampirian do. While they don't typically live as long as the Vampirian do, they do live as long, if not longer than the Fae.' Nova answered me as she rinsed off, spreading her wings as she let the water cascade over her body. 

'Why would he be scared of his parents being there? Wouldn't them still being there be a good thing?'

'Not necessarily, you have to think about it, Ari. The corruption doesn't affect Celestials or familiars. Xavier's mother was a Celestial, but his father was corrupted before he even left. Mated pairs' lifespans are directly connected. With all of that in mind, now think about what the history professor told you when talking about the royals of the realm.' 

'He said that there hasn't been a sighting of a Beastial Royal in almost a decade.' I trailed off as I started putting the pieces together. 

'Exactly, so it stands to reason that he's probably hiding out somewhere around Carnavia. You saw how the corruption changes people. Xavier told you about how his father turned against them because of it. It was already bad back then, but now, seven years later, neither of them will ever be the same as he remembers. While his mother wasn't corrupted, she's been suffering the same pain as her mate for more than seven years now, and his father... what if he's too far gone to save? Xavier would have to kill his father, which in turn would also kill his mother, Ari. He has every right to be terrified.' I just looked down at her for a long moment, watching as her opalescent scales glittered under the water, as all of that settled like a rock in my gut. 

Taking a breath, I thought back over what all she said. No wonder he had looked at me like that. It's not like the world has been particularly kind to him to begin with, but throwing that on top of it... 

I got out, making quick work of getting dressed and tying my wet hair back in a braid as I opened the door. I couldn't help the soft smile that tipped the corners of my lips as I looked him over. I let my eyes travel over his tall frame, standing at the door as he waited for me. He hadn't bothered with his swords, instead he only had a dagger sheathed at his hip, and something rolled into a bundle under his arm. I just watched in stunned silence as he turned towards me. I still couldn't quite believe that all of that was mine. 

He still seemed rather uncomfortable, though, pulling at the collar of his shirt as he pulled it up so the already high-necked undershirt covered even more of his neck as I walked towards him. He reached out, pulling my swords off the rack, holding them out to me, but I was still stuck looking at where he was fussing with the collar of his shirt. 

"Are you okay?" I asked as I took my swords from him, buckling their sheaths over my shoulders. 

"I'm fine, I just..." He sighed, stretching his neck to the side until it cracked. "It's been a couple of days since I've shifted, and I'm starting to feel the effects of it." He whispered with a bit of a grimace as he rubbed at the side of his neck once more. 

Rather than pressing him, I looked over at Bane as he perched up on Xavier's good shoulder. The dragon also looked tense, his tail flicked back and forth in unease against the back of Xavier's thigh, and I was instantly worried. Glancing at the collar of his shirt where he had been fussing, I quickly realized that there were scales there, actual black dragon scales. They were hidden rather well, considering they were just as midnight black as the shirt he was wearing, but the subtle sheen from the light of the lantern glinting off them gave it away. Last night they had been there, but they were still just under his skin. This morning, though, I distinctly remember feeling distinct scales before he pulled away. 

He reached a hand out between us, and I happily took it, letting him pull me out the door and quickly down the hall. As we worked our way down a set of stairs, I found that still slightly foggy bond that I had with Bane. It was slowly becoming more and more solid by the day, but when I reached for it, I felt the connection before I even spoke to him. 

'Is he actually okay?' I asked, and those golden eyes flicked to mine.

'He feels... More tense than normal, but it could be a list of things. He hasn't shifted since you've been in his room, and three days is a rather difficult stretch for such a powerful beast. On top of that, there's the stress of where his mind had gone earlier, and the fact that he's actually bringing you with him to see what he's had to keep under the deepest lock and key for several years now. He has several reasons to be acting this way, Ari.' His deep tone chided in my mind, but I still sighed out a bit of relief. All of that, I could deal with, but it was the other thing that had been constantly floating along the back of my mind ever since he had rescued me that had me fearing the worst. 

He led me out a back door and into the valley that we used for tactics. It was large enough that Bane and Nova could both shift, but this time, when he led me up onto Bane's back, I was more than happy to sit with him. I instantly leaned into his hold as he wrapped his arm around my waist, and I took his hand in mine, twining my fingers through his as Bane took to the sky. We flew in a rather tense silence up to the highest peak on the mountain range. 

Once Bane and Nova both landed, Xavier pulled that bundle off Bane from where he had tied it down behind us, unraveling it to reveal his heavy cloak as he wrapped it around my shoulders. As we got down into the deep snow, he pressed a kiss to my forehead before pulling away just as Bane landed on his shoulder, and Xavier walked over to where Bane had just landed moments ago. 

I just watched in awed silence as, just like the last time, the air seemed to shimmer around him before there he stood. He was almost an exact replica of Bane, only a little larger. Those sharp emerald eyes that I was so used to had turned to a slightly more golden hue, though. They were still undeniably green, but instead of the clear depth of emerald that his human form held, they were lighter, and flecked with so much gold that they seemed to almost shimmer in the rising sun.

He dipped his head, looking down and away from me as, for the second time today, everything about him seemed to almost deflate. He shifted his weight uncomfortably as his wings flared slightly before tucking tight to his body once more. 

Slowly, I approached him, step by step, but just as I was almost close enough to touch him, he drew back one nervous step away from me. The closer I got, the more I could feel what I could only describe as static electricity, almost rolling off him in waves. It made every single hair on my body stand on end at the feeling of it rolling over my skin, but it wasn't unpleasant, just startling. 

"Xavier," I whispered to him, knowing he could hear me. He looked down at me, slowly blinking down at me as I reached up towards him. 

Slowly, he lowered that massive head back down to my level, and I smiled as I pressed my palm to the smooth scales along his cheek. I was almost a little surprised that the move didn't shock me with the feeling of the power radiating from him, but instead, a shiver of pleasure shot down my spine. 

"You're beautiful," I whispered to him before leaning in to press my cheek against his, sending more of those tingles through my whole body. It felt good, felt right to touch him. He seemed to enjoy it too, considering he let out a low, content rumble, making me smile as he leaned into my touch. 

After a few moments, he pulled away from me, backing up a few paces before leaping for the sky as I watched him go, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I should be up there, with him.